Though This Be Madness, Yet There Is Method In’t

Because I Can

2012-02-06T18:18:00.000-07:00

Day Twenty-Two: Why are you doing this blog challenge?

The simple answer is that I want to blog more. My poor blog was looking very neglected for a while, and because I couldn't think of anything clever to write about, I found a blog challenge that would give me set topics. That's why. And . . . that's about all there is to it.

Good friends help you move. Best friends help you move bodies.

2012-02-05T16:51:00.000-07:00

Day Twenty-One: What you think of your friends.

I feel like this is kind of a weird question. If I didn't like my friends, they wouldn't be my friends, would they? But I guess I'll play along and elaborate a little bit.

I'll start with my girlfriends. I have some incredible girls in my life. I honestly do. They are always seeing what they can do for others, and I love having that example. They are incredible to talk to. We can have random, goofy discussions about really trivial things, and we can switch to a different mode and have really in-depth, valuable conversations about things that are meaningful to us. I get incredible advice when I talk to these girls, and I always feel better after discussing things with them.

I also have some incredible guy friends. They are worthy priesthood holders, and I see them at church every Sunday, which is such a cool thing when I sit down and think about it. I have a list of guys I could contact if I ever needed a blessing. I know that I can count on these guys to help me out if I am ever in need. I love that I have a contingent of guys I can talk to about sports, since my girlfriends don't really care. It's always fun to go to church on Sunday and have a guy come up to me specifically to ask what I thought of the game last night. I love that these are good, solid guys who are trying to do what's right.

However, I do get annoyed with a lot of these guys. Mostly because they're not asking girls on dates. Or because they're not asking the girls they hang out with on dates (including me). That gets frustrating. I'm not saying that every guy I hang out with has to be interested in me; that's not the case at all. But once in a while, it would be nice if they noticed the girls they spend most of their time with and changed things up a bit. It's fun to get to know someone one-on-one instead of always being in a group.

I really do have amazing people in my life right now. The other day I was talking to Cora about the evolution of my group of friends over the years. There were some people that I hung out with a couple of years ago that weren't the greatest of examples. Don't get me wrong—there was nothing wrong with them. They just didn't take the Honor Code terribly seriously, and that attitude permeated a lot of other things. I loved hanging out with them, for the most part, but I realized that I didn't particularly like who I was when I hung out with them. That isn't the case with the people I hang out with right now. I love who I am when I'm with them, and I love the things they bring out of me. I want to be better and do better when I'm around them. And I love that I have those kinds of influences in my life.

Dear Mom and Dad

2012-02-04T16:01:00.000-07:00

Day Twenty: A letter to your parents.

Dear Mom and Dad,

Thank you. For so, so many things. The older I get and the more people I meet, the more I recognize how normal, healthy, and happy my childhood was. I am part of a lucky few who can say with perfect certainty that their parents love each other and that they never once worried about an argument turning into a divorce. I never worried about the state of your marriage. There may have been arguments, but I knew that you would both figure out whatever was wrong and that our family would remain stable and whole.

Thank you for providing me with an incredibly stable home life growing up. I always knew that home was a safe place. It was a place where I was completely comfortable. Where I knew there would be people that I loved and who loved me in return. I could bring friends home and not worry about what their perceptions of me and my family would be. You were always the cool parents who treated all my friends the same. They all loved you for that.

Dad, thank you for showing me how my future husband should treat his wife. For showing me what it looks like for a worthy priesthood holder to serve faithfully in the church. For showing me how I want the future father of my children to treat his kids. For always being so completely willing to help me out with my car or with school or with my taxes or with anything else I ever need.

Mom, thank you for always, always being there for me. For listening to me whine and moan. For dealing with me when I was tired and stressed and not thinking clearly. For showing me how to be a good mom when I have my own kids. For showing me how to be a good and open person. For teaching me how to treat those around me with love and respect.

And most importantly, I thank you both for raising me in the Gospel. For teaching me that I have a Heavenly Father. That I have a Savior who died for me. That there is a Holy Ghost to prompt me and teach me. That there is a prophet on earth today to help guide me. Thank you for raising me with firm beliefs and standards. Thank you for ever and always being amazing examples of service, both inside the Church and outside it. For living what you preach.

I can't adequately express how grateful I am that you are my parents and that I was sent to you. I love you so much. Thank you for everything.

Love,

Lindy

Mmmm, Zupas

2012-02-03T20:48:00.000-07:00

Day Nineteen: Something you crave a lot.

I crave Zupas all. the. time. I feel like I've written a few blog posts about Zupas already, which should tell you all you need to know. In the winter, I want the soup. In the summer, I want the salad. And I always want the sandwiches.

Unfortunately for my wallet, I live within five minutes of two separate Zupas locations. If I'm at home, I drive up the street and stop in at the Provo Zupas. If I'm driving home from work and the desire for Zupas hits me, I stop in at the Orem Zupas, which is all too convenient for me. And once that desire for Zupas hits me, there's no going back. I have to get it or I won't be able to get it out of my head for days. So, yeah, Zupas is a big deal. I love it.

Individuality

2012-02-02T23:23:00.000-07:00

Day Eighteen: What makes you different than everyone else?

Well, one rather obvious thing that makes me different than at least other girls is that I absolutely love sports. Case in point: I am currently watching BYU play Gonzaga. I had been flipping back and forth between the BYU game and the Jazz game, until it became apparent that the Jazz were going to lose. And the BYU game was much more exciting. And I'm not just a casual fan—I am an avid fan. When I talk about games, I know what I'm talking about. I can't tell you how many times I've watched games with a bunch of dudes and have ended up explaining the rules or some other aspect of the game because I know more about it than they do. My father has taught me well. [Update: BYU kicked Gonzaga's trash all over the court. Such an awesome game. I wish I could have gone to the Marriott Center—it was rockin' tonight.]

Another thing that unfortunately sets me apart from a lot of people is my common sense. I am pretty level headed, and I do my best not to let my emotions run away with me. Granted, there are times when that doesn't work out so well, but I do my best. Especially when I'm around guys. I'm not one of those girls whose brain leaves her body as soon as boys enter the room. I don't turn into a brainless flirt. Then again, that seems to work for a lot of girls, so maybe I need to incorporate a little bit of that into my life. But only a little.

The last thing that makes me different is that I am a Mormon. Granted, in Provo, that doesn't make me different. That makes me normal. But when compared with the rest of the world, being Mormon makes me pretty weird. We are a peculiar people. We have peculiar beliefs. I believe in morality. In absolute right and wrong, in Truth with a capital T. In modern-day revelation. I believe that my life isn't mine to do with what I please. It has been given to me so I can learn to align my will with my Father's will. So that by doing His will, I will bless the lives of those around me and will in turn be blessed. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has blessed my life in a myriad of ways. There is no doubt in my mind that it is true.

My Catharsis

2012-02-01T22:40:00.000-07:00

Day Seventeen: A picture of something that makes you happy.

These are five of my eleven completed journals. I just started my twelfth. Yes, I do have a ton of journals, and I love that I have a ton of journals. I also love that each one of my journals is much different than the others. I have goofy journals (like the Beatles one on top) that last me a month, and I have the more sophisticated, leather journals that last me up to a year.

I have had multiple people tell me that buying journals is a waste of money. They say I should just buy cheap notebooks because they work just as well, or to type up my entries on my computer. But cheap notebooks fall apart and don't last. (That's why they're cheap.) And I don't want to type my journals. I've tried that before, and I don't like it. The act of writing, physically writing, in my journal is incredibly cathartic for me. It's a release. It's something I need everyday. I honestly sleep better when I write out my feelings before bed. It's kind of weird, but it's true.

I freely admit that I am a little obsessed with journals. I may have spent $70 on journals a couple of weeks ago. (It was worth it, I promise.) So seeing a pile of journals that I filled with my own hand makes me really happy. I love seeing that.

Take Your Pick

2012-01-31T19:48:00.000-07:00

Day Sixteen: Nicknames you have and why.

I kind of have a lot of nicknames. Rather, I've had a lot of nicknames in my life. The most obvious one being Lindy. Here's the scoop on that one: My dad worked with a lady whose name was Andralynn and she went by Lindy. He really liked the sound of it, and my mom agreed, and voila, it became my name. My mom apparently had this thing about giving us nicknamable names: My brothers are Benjamin, Robert, and Matthew, with their obvious corresponding nicknames. My sister is RoChelle, and we call her Chelly. Then mine is Andralynn, and I've been called Lindy my whole life. It gets a wee bit confusing. Sometimes I wish I had just gone by Andralynn my whole life. So if you ever want to start calling me Andralynn, go right ahead.

Other nicknames I have had in my life are Andra, Android, Androidlynn, Androidlindy, Andralindy, Linny, Linny-Loo, Lindy-Loo-Hoo who is no more than two. Andy has been thrown around a few times. I had a friend in high school who called me Lynnandra. A friend in my ward persists in calling me Lindizzle. And I have had two people consistently call me Andralynn, and while that isn't technically a nickname, it feels like one because no one else calls me that. (And the fact that they were guys I was interested in [and I think returned the sentiment] made it all the better.)

Most of these nicknames have no reason behind them; they simply sounded funny to whoever was talking to me, so they got used. Not much more to it than that.

Dream a Little Dream For Me

2012-01-30T22:38:00.000-07:00

Day Fifteen: Plans/dreams/goals you have.

Well, that's not general at all, is it. I'm not even sure where to start.

I guess I can start with what has been on my mind the most lately, and that is marriage. Cliché, I know, but let's be honest: I'm 24 years old. I'm turning 25 this year, and I'm still single. I really do want a family. I want to meet someone who will be able and willing to deal with my particular brand of crazy, someone who will force his way into my bubble and convince me that I can allow someone into my life without being let down. I want a man who wants to have kids and wants to raise a family in the Church. I want a man who will love me for who I am and won't ask me to change for him. I want a man who makes me want to be a better person, who is my best friend and confidante.

That is my main dream right now, though that doesn't mean I don't have plenty of other dreams. I plan to move out of student housing (finally!) in August. I'll be moving in with a few other girls of my choosing, which will be awesome. We're going to have the awesomest apartment ever in existence, for the reals. The only thing that would be awesomer would be if Cora were living with us, but she's not. It's a shame.

Another dream/goal of mine is to work at a job that is at least closer to my dream job. Magazine editing, fiction editing . . . something along those lines. Wherever that may be. My current job is fine; I love the people I work with, and I very much like that I am so comfortable there. I know my job. I'm good at my job. But it's not where I want to stay the rest of my life. Eventually I will get an opportunity to go somewhere else, to expand my knowledge and my expertise. It will be hard, as change always is, but I'm excited for the day that it will be the right thing for me to move on. Whenever that day might be.

So there you have it: a couple of my long-term goals. I would write more, but I'm kind of in the middle of an episode of 24, and I'm a little distracted. Nerve gas is about to be released in a mall! Oh noes!!

I don't have a choice, but I'd still choose you.

2012-01-29T19:37:00.000-07:00

Day Fourteen: Someone you want to switch lives with for one day and why.

I would switch lives with Joy Williams, of the Civil Wars. For many, many reasons. First of all, she has an incredible singing voice that I would love to have, just for a day. She is also a phenomenal songwriter. And she has beautiful dresses. Those three things alone would be reason enough for me to want to switch lives with her.

To make the situation even sweeter, she tours all over the world with the Civil Wars, so she gets to see all sorts of amazing places and meet all sorts of amazing people. She also gets to sing her ridiculously awesome music in front of venues full of fans singing the songs she wrote. That's something that I have always wanted to experience—I want to know how it feels to have thousands upon thousands of people know and love my music.

And the icing on the cake is that Joy Williams sings with one John Paul White, whom I love. I love his voice. I love how he makes playing insane rhythms on the guitar look as easy as breathing. I love how he and Joy lean close when they sing. I love how seamlessly their voices blend. I love how you can't tell who has the harmony and who has the melody. Honest to goodness, I love every little thing about the Civil Wars, and being a part of that duo for a single day would be beyond my wildest dreams. So yeah, I would absolutely switch lives with Joy Williams for a day. It would be amazing.

PS: Thanks goes to Cora for giving me the idea of switching lives with Joy Williams. Cora knows me so well.

Photog

2012-01-28T15:28:00.000-07:00

Day Thirteen: Another picture of yourself.

New Year's Eve, 2011. Brittany, Heather, and I were partying with some friends, and we had the best ratio ever: the three of us and seven guys. It was pretty sweet. We played charades, ate tons of food, and watched a movie. It was a super fun night. I love these girls. I love them so much, in fact, that I'm going to be living with them this fall. I can't wait. Our apartment is going to be the bomb dot com. Seriously. We're not going to get any sleep ever. It'll be awesome.

The Shuffle Test

2012-01-27T17:41:00.000-07:00

Day Twelve: Put your iPod on shuffle and post the first 10 songs that play.

This could get interesting. I have a lot of really random stuff on my iPod. Here goes nothin'.

"Ritual Dance" by Kaki King, August Rush soundtrack (Told you I had random crap on there.)
"The Medallion Calls" by Klaus Badelt, Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl soundtrack (I'm gonna start skipping songs if I get a bunch of instrumental.)
"Down" (feat. Lil Wayne) by Jay Sean (I always skip this song. I don't even know why I still have it.)
"The Dungeon" by Danny Elfman, Alice in Wonderland soundtrack
"Every Day," Les Miserables soundtrack
"Na Na Hey Hey Kiss Him Goodbye" by Steam, Remember the Titans soundtrack (Holy soundtracks, Batman.)
"Long Tall Sally" by the Beatles, Past Masters Volume 1 (Gotta have a Beatles song.)
"A Moment With Me" by Harry Connick, Jr., Come By Me
"Two Worlds" by Phil Collins and Mark Mancina, Tarzan soundtrack
"The Violet Hour" by the Civil Wars, Barton Hollow

I will freely admit that I skipped a couple of songs. But that was because I kept getting songs from the same album. Thank you, shuffle, for not being as random as usual when I really want you to be.

Da Brown Fambily

2012-01-26T18:32:00.000-07:00

Day Eleven: A picture of you and your family.

This is kind of an old picture (I mean really, look at my hair!), but it's our latest family photo, so it's getting posted. I truly have the greatest family on the planet.

Music is the best.

2012-01-25T17:30:00.000-07:00

Day Nine: Songs you listen to when you are happy, sad, bored, hyped, mad.

This is a hard one, since I like so much music. I get in different moods for different music regardless of my emotions. If I like music, I like music, and that's about it. But I'll give this a shot, based on my current music mood. Which means there's going to be a whole lot of Cold War Kids, Mumford & Sons, and the Civil Wars, since I've been listening to them nonstop lately.

Happy: "Marry Me" by Train, because that song just gives me warm fuzzies. So does "I've Got This Friend" by the Civil Wars. "Count on Me" by Bruno Mars also qualifies as a happy song. Then you can throw in stuff like "I've Just Seen a Face" by the Beatles and "Magic" by B.o.B. Oh, and I can't forget "Finally Begin" and "Broken Open" by Cold War kids.

Sad: "Poison & Wine" and "Falling" by the Civil Wars. "Roll Away Your Stone" and "The Cave" and "Thistle and Weeds" by Mumford & Sons. Okay, so basically all of Barton Hollow and Sigh No More qualify as good sad albums. Norah Jones is also a good sad artist, especially "Cold Cold Heart" and "I Don't Miss You At All." Also, can't forget songs like "Someone Like You" and "Turning Tables" by Adele.

Bored: Pretty much anything I can bust out at the top of my lungs. So all of 21 by Adele. "Barton Hollow" and "Birds of a Feather" by the Civil Wars. "Gravity" by Sara Bareilles. "Stoppin' the Love" and "Black Horse and a Cherry Tree" by KT Tunstall. "As Long As You're Mine" from Wicked. "Come Home" by OneRepublic. Stuff like that.

Hyped: Pretty much anything by Sherwood, especially "Song In My Head," "Only Song," "Middle of the Night," and "You Are." They're jumping songs, so it's easy to get a lot of energy out with them. "Runaway Baby" by Bruno Mars. "Forget You" by Cee Lo Green. Anything super upbeat.

Mad: "Where Have You Been?" by Reel Big Fish. They say "Go to hell!" in every chorus, so it's a given as an angry song. "You Already Know" by Train. "Over You" by Daughtry. "Before He Cheats" by Carrie Underwood. "Skip the Charades" by Cold War Kids. "Little Lion Man" by Mumford & Sons. I may never actually sing the f-word in that song, but sometimes just hearing it is an emotional release. "Grenade" by Bruno Mars. Basically anything with an angry undertone that I can sing really loudly.

Woot for self-control!

2012-01-24T20:34:00.000-07:00

Day Eight: Something you're proud of from the last few days.

Geez . . . something I'm proud of? That's a tough one. The first thing that pops into my mind is going to the gym. I dragged myself out of bed at 6:30 this morning to go, which was something I was completely terrible at last week. However, that pride is somewhat tempered by the fact that I didn't go to the gym at all yesterday. Blast. But I guess there's no use dwelling on the past.

There is one other thing I'm proud of, I guess. I ordered some clothes on Gap.com last week because they had some of my favorite pants on sale. I got the package today, and unfortunately, two of the three pairs of pants that I bought didn't fit right. Even though they were all the exact same size. And two of them were the exact same style. This is exactly why I despise jeans shopping.

Anyway, I decided not to prolong things and I went to the mall to take the two pairs of ill-fitting jeans back. I went into Gap, returned my jeans, and walked right back out of the mall. I didn't even stop. Just because I got that $50 back on my credit card doesn't mean I have to go out and spend it. I'm pretty dang proud of that self-control, let me tell ya.

So that's . . . really boring, I know, but when you limit me to the past couple of days, I'm not left with many options.

GOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAL!

2012-01-23T22:45:00.000-07:00

Day Seven: Short-term goals for this month.

My number-one goal for this month is to make getting up at 6:30 to go to the gym a habit. I need to convince myself that I have to get up, because then I can have my whole evening to myself and I don't have to worry about not meeting my gym goal because something fun comes up. I'm sorry, but the gym isn't ever going to take precedence over doing fun things with my friends. If I remember that, getting up might not be so difficult.

Goal number two is to have more meaningful scripture study. I've been feeling more and more lately like I need to pay more attention to what I'm reading and actually write down the thoughts and insights I have. With how much I write in my journal, you wouldn't think that's difficult for me, but it is. Which is why I've decided that I'm going to make my regular day-to-day journal double as my spiritual journal. It should be anyway because I need to write down the spiritual experiences I have in my everyday life, but sometimes it doesn't work that way.

A third goal is to listen to conference talks while I get ready in the mornings. It's a perfect time to do it because I'm not doing anything else. I usually just listen to music, but if I switch to conference talks, I can listen to two a day. I used to be really good at it about a year ago, and it was so cool to see what things in my daily life reminded me of talks that I had listened to recently. It was a great way to listen to the counsel of the prophets again and to be reminded of the things that I need to work on.

A fourth goal is to get some quality one-on-one hang-out time with Der Junge. I tried on Friday, but he was hanging out with his roommate, who got invited along on our excursion. It's not a big deal, since his roommate is my friend too, but I really wanted to just hang out with Der Junge. That's proving to be more difficult than I thought it would be. However, Der Junge let it slip that he has never seen any of the Indiana Jones movies (a travesty, I know!), so I promptly borrowed all three of them from my parents and I will force him to watch them with me. So maybe that will work in my favor one of these days.

So there you have it. My goals. I didn't realize I had so many.

The Way, the Truth, and the Life

2012-01-22T17:06:00.000-07:00

Day Six: A photo of something/someone that has had the biggest impact on you.

There are so very many people and things that have had enormous impacts on me both for good and for ill. I have known absolutely amazing people throughout my life that have helped me learn and grow and become a better person. I have read books and watched movies that have completely changed my viewpoints on issues and have broadened my world. I have taken classes that have forced me out of my comfort zone and taught me how to live outside myself.

But today is Sunday, and I just taught a rather emotional Relief Society lesson about repentance and my Savior. Therefore, I think it appropriate to write about the person who has had the biggest impact on my life. That person is Jesus Christ. I believe with my whole heart that Christ is my Savior and that He died for me. He shed drops of blood from every pore so that I don't have to. If I but turn to him and use the Atonement in my everyday life, I won't have to face justice at the last day. The Savior will step in my place and be my advocate to the Father.

I honestly don't know where I would be without a knowledge of my Savior. There have been so many times in my life when I have felt completely lost and alone. When I have been confused and afraid. When I have been ashamed and humiliated. In each instance, the fact that I have a Savior who wants to hear all my concerns and fears has been an enormous comfort. I can't count how many times I have felt the love of my Savior and simply felt that everything will turn out okay. I have seen His tender mercies in my everyday life, and I can't say how much of a blessing that is.

The truth is that I never would have realized the importance of all the people and things that have impacted my life without the knowledge that a loving Savior and Heavenly Father are guiding my life. I have experienced things and gotten to know people for a reason. Everything always seems to work out when I trust in my Heavenly Father and I strive to do what He asks of me. No other person or thing could ever hope to have a bigger impact on my life.

Nana nana nana nana...BATMAN!

2012-01-21T16:16:00.000-07:00

Day Five: Your favorite super hero and why.

I think Batman is freaking awesome, though that's mostly due to Christopher Nolan's interpretation of Batman's universe. I've never been a huge comic book fan, so most of my super hero knowledge comes from the big screen. I have to admit, though, that I love me some comic book movies. They are highly entertaining.

The main reason Batman is my favorite super hero is that the movies are insanely awesome. Christopher Nolan is seriously a genius. I love Christian Bale as Batman (no matter how annoying his Batman voice gets), I love Gary Oldman as Commissioner Gordon, I love Michael Caine as Alfred, I love Morgan Freeman as Lucius Fox, and I love, love, love Heath Ledger as the Joker. The Dark Knight Rises trailer gives me chills, and I cannot wait to see it. Tom Hardy as Bane is going to be sick. Throw in performances by Joseph Gordon-Leavitt and Marion Cotillard, and I'm in movie heaven (despite Anne Hathaway as Catwoman). Midnight showing here I come!

Another thing I like about Batman is that he's not a super hero in the super powers sense. He doesn't have any super powers. He's just a normal dude (albeit a very, very rich dude) who decided to take action in Gotham. It's kind of cool. And it brings up a lot of issues about society and about how societies view vigilantes who take the law into their own hands. Heroes like Superman and Spider-Man don't bring up quite the same issues. While they are technically vigilantes, they can do things no one else can do because they're "super." Batman just has loads of money and could have competition if another super rich vigilante decides to jump in the ring. It also means that the villains are more interesting because they don't have super powers either. They just want to take down Batman.

Basically, Batman is the coolest.

Nauvoo: The City Beautiful

2012-01-20T21:31:00.000-07:00

Day Four: A picture of somewhere you've been.

In case you were wondering, this awesome photo was taken by yours truly. I'm cool, I know.

Nauvoo, Illinois, is one of my favorite places in the whole world. I love this place. I love the history of it and the feelings it evokes in me. I love, love, love the temple. It's absolutely amazing. I have yet to go inside or to do any work there, but I will one day. (That wasn't even intended to mimic the song. I am good.)

I was eleven the first time I went to Nauvoo. I was with my parents as we drove across the country to take my grandparents their car. They were serving a mission in Kirtland, Ohio. My parents decided that if we were driving that far anyway, we might as well make it a big trip and hit all the major Church history sites. It was an absolutely incredible vacation for my eleven-year-old self. It was one of the single greatest testimony-building experiences I had ever had, and Nauvoo sat squarely in the middle of it. I was reading the sixth Work and the Glory book at the time, which happens to be set completely in Nauvoo. It really helped me visualize where things happened and what was going on at that time in Church history. That was where I first gained a testimony of Joseph Smith.

Another awesome thing about that trip was that we rolled into Nauvoo on the first Sunday in April, which is General Conference, of course. And it happened to be the conference when President Hinckley announced the rebuilding of the Nauvoo temple. It was pretty amazing.

I didn't get to go back to Nauvoo until seven years later, when my mom, my grandma, and I went to my cousin Dustin's high school graduation. I hadn't seen Cora, Dustin, Blake, and Robyn since the last time we had gone to Nauvoo, so it was super exciting to see them. Cora, Jamie, Robyn, Mom, Grandma, and I spent three days in Nauvoo during that trip, and finally seeing the temple was incredible. As you drive along the Mississippi River, the road takes a curve, and BAM! there's the temple. It seems to loom up out of nowhere. It's no wonder the Saints chose that spot for the House of the Lord.

I love Nauvoo. I love it so much. I want to go back, and I want to do baptisms in the temple. Heck, I'd love to get married in the Nauvoo temple, but unfortunately, all my family is in Utah, so that probably won't happen.

I'm so grateful for the chances I have had to go to Nauvoo and to feel the incredible spirit of what the Saints left behind. It truly is the City Beautiful.

Stress is the worst.

2012-01-19T22:08:00.000-07:00

Day Three: A habit that you wish you didn't have.

I don't know if this qualifies as a habit, so much, but I stress. I stress a lot. I used to have such bad anxiety that I would wake up every morning with a terrible knot in my chest. It felt like it was squeezing all of the air out of my lungs. I was afraid of driving. I was afraid of going to college. I was afraid of starting a new job. It was a horrible, paralyzing feeling.

I have gotten much better as I've gotten older. Driving in particular no longer bugs me. That's probably because I've spent many months as the only one in my apartment with a car, so I've done a whole lotta driving in my time in Provo. But that's not the only thing I've grown more confident in. I think it's just a matter of growing up and figuring things out.

Unfortunately, I am still a worry wart. I worry about everything. Just because the anxiety isn't crippling doesn't mean it isn't there in some form or another. I frequently worry about things at work. I worry about moving out of my current apartment. I worry when I get new roommates. I worry about my church calling. (Well, sometimes. Not currently. My calling is awesome.) And most especially, I worry about guys. I worry about how I'm coming across. I worry about being too forward. I worry about not being forward enough. I worry about giving the wrong impression. I worry about everything when it comes to dating. It's awful.

I need to loosen up. I need to worry less. I need to be more open. I know all of these things. Unfortunately, acting on them and actually changing is much more easily said than done.

My friends are the best.

2012-01-18T22:40:00.000-07:00

Day Two: A picture of you and your friends.

Honest to goodness, I have so many incredible friends that one picture wouldn't suffice. Heck, these three pictures don't suffice. So many awesome people are left out because I am horrible at taking pictures at social events.

My roommates are incredible and have become some of my very best friends. My other girlfriends in the ward (of which there are pretty much only two) have become such good friends that I'm hoping to live with them next year. And the guys in my life never cease to entertain me. If any combination of my guy friends are around, whatever is going on is almost guaranteed to be exciting.

Honestly, I am so grateful that I have met such amazing people the past few months. Here's hoping that in the next few months, I can meet even more amazing people and grow even closer with the people I've already integrated into my life.

Blogging Challenge!

2012-01-17T23:03:00.000-07:00

As mentioned in my last post, I want to be better at blogging. Since I've been having a hard time thinking of things to write about, I thought I would see what kind of blog challenges I could find. The main one I found was the same one I did the beginning of last year, and I wanted to have some different topics. So I combined a few of my favorites to come up with more than a month of posts. Woo hoo! Over a month of daily posts! Exciting, right?

So here it is, day one of my jerry-rigged blog challenge. We'll see how this goes.

Day One: A recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself.

Christmas Eve 2011, wearing the paper crown from our English crackers.

Yay for lists! Anyone who reads my blog should know that I love lists. I've done this kind of list tons of times, but I'm always up for more.

Along the lines of loving lists, I recently bought a journal called Listography. It is composed solely of lists. I kind of love it.
I have had a lifelong obsession with pens. I simply love good pens.
I am crazy fickle when it comes to my hair. I chopped it off in May, and I've already decided I'm growing it out again. Give it a couple more months and it'll be a different color.
I love makeup. A lot. I have a ridiculous amount of it, and somehow, I can't keep myself from buying more. Especially eye shadow.
I have nine of the most amazing kids as my nieces and nephews. They're the best ever.
The phrase "should have went" makes me want to kick a puppy. The past participle of "go" is "gone," not "went." The phrase is "should have gone."
One of my greatest desires is to travel the world. I have yet to leave the continental U.S., and I am determined to change that sometime soon.
I love singing duets. I have at least two, possibly three, that I can play on the guitar or the piano. All I need is a guy to sing them with.
I like working out early in the morning. As difficult as it is to wake myself up at 6:30, it feels awesome to get going so early.
I will name a daughter Eloise June. Whether my hustband likes it or not.
I think boys are stupid. Yet somehow, I still want one.
I love gum. I chew three or four pieces at work alone.
I try to write in my journal daily. I have filled 11 journals in total, 4 or 5 of which have been in the last couple of years.
I don't have a middle name. There aren't many names that flow well with Andralynn.
When I was a kid, I hated mushrooms. I thought they were nasty. I now love them. Zupa's Wild Mushroom Bisque is my favorite soup. I also love Harmon's homemade cream of mushroom. It's funny how tastes develop.

A new year, a new me.

2012-01-16T17:34:00.000-07:00

Or something along those lines.

Hey look, it's the obligatory resolutions post. Sure, I'm about two weeks late, but I'm close enough, right?

So my resolutions have been rather fluid for this year. I have goals, but I don't think I thought of any of them as resolutions, per se. There were just things I knew I wanted to do with my life, and I happened to be thinking about them at around New Year's. So I guess they qualify.

My main goal is one that has been on my mind for a few months now, and I am proud to say that I am going strong after two weeks. I decided that I wanted to switch back to 24 Hour Fitness (mostly because I detested going to Gold's) and buy a few personal training sessions (if not more). In the last two weeks, I have only missed a single day of going to the gym. (Not counting Sundays, of course.) I'm pretty proud of myself, and if the scale is any indication, I've actually made some progress. Awesome, no? I sure think so. I'm also rediscovering that I quite love hopping on the elliptical and just going for an hour. It feels super good. I also enjoy that the machine tells me I burn about 700 calories when I do that.

Another goal I've been kicking around is blogging more. I was supposed to blog about dating and all that jazz, but right after I decided to do that, I actually started having real dating experiences. Well, more like hanging out experiences, but there were actually guys (er . . . guy . . . [you know, Der Junge]) that I was interested in. And as soon as I started thinking about writing about actual people, I chickened out a wee bit. I was mostly just terrified that things would get back to Der Junge and that I would be mortified. A bit juvenile, it's true, but alas, I can't help myself.

Instead of writing about dating, I've compiled a couple of blogging challenges to create one big challenge that should cover about 45 days. I've been meaning to start it, but I swear the amount of free time I have has been severely diminished somehow. It's probably because I've been getting up at 6:30 (most days) to work out and not getting home from work until 6:00. Any social activities usually take up my extra free time. However, I will find time to fit blogging in!

A third goal is to finally change my boy situation. Yes, I'm saying it: I WANT A BOYFRIEND. At some point this year, I want to end my drought. It's been coming up on five years (wow, look at me divulge potentially embarrassing information!) since I've been in a real relationship, and you know what? That is plenty long. I'm ready for something more than hanging out and flirting. Unfortunately, I am not in complete control of this goal, and I honestly have no idea what more to do to help my cause (with Der Junge in particular, but I'm definitely open to other prospects).

And there you have it. My goals for this year. Well, the biggies, anyway. Here's hoping I can make 2012 freaking awesome.

The Movies of 2011

2012-01-03T16:30:00.000-07:00

Since I wrote a blog post for the books I read in 2011, I figured I should give the movies I watched the same courtesy. It kind of amazes me how much entertainment I consume throughout a year. I also like seeing which movies I watched multiple times. I'll definitely do this again for 2012. I'm looking forward to comparing the numbers.

MOVIES

The King's Speech x2 (This movie is AMAZING. Everyone needs to go see it.)
The Karate Kid
Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time (Hilariously awful, but Jake Gyllenhaal is hot so it was worth a watch.)
Rear Window (I love me some Jimmy Stewart!)
Inception x2
Practical Magic
Easy A x2 (so much funnier than I expected)
The Switch (I loved this movie. I thought it was adorable. I just might have to buy it.)
Scott Pilgrim vs. the World x3
Whip It
Despicable Me
Unstoppable
Doubt
Morning Glory
Arsenic and Old Lace
Sweet Home Alabama
To Kill a Mockingbird (Gregory Peck as Atticus Finch is fantastic.)
The Hudsucker Proxy (You know...for kids!)
Driving Lessons (Kind of a weird movie, but Rupert Grint is adorable.)
True Grit
Get Smart
That Thing You Do (I got the extended version from Netflix, and it was super fun.)
500 Days of Summer
Thor
Equilibrium
The Village
Newsies
Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian
Star Trek
No Country for Old Men (The book was scarier than the movie. But the movie was still good.)
Red (Awesome, awesome movie. I need to own it.)
Two Weeks Notice
Super 8 x2 (Quite a good show. I would recommend it.)
The Incredibles
Rescue Dawn
Dumb and Dumber (Believe it or not, this was the first time I had watched this movie. And yes, I thought it was funny.)
Speed (This movie was way cooler when I was 12.)
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 (So. effing. good.)
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
Windtalkers
The Social Network
Finding Neverland (I always seem to forget how absolutely perfect this movie is. It is phenomenal, and I love it so, so much.)
The A-Team
While You Were Sleeping x2
Cowboys & Aliens (So much better than I expected.)
Wild Target
Source Code
The Pacifier
She's the Man
Tangled
Hitch
Public Enemies
G.I. Joe: The Rise of the Cobra (This movie is TERRIBLE. Absolutely terrible. That is two hours of my life that I will never get back.)
The Best Two Years
Tron: Legacy
Captain America
The Lion King (Still as good as it was when I was eight.)
Young Frankenstein (A must for Halloween.)
What Lies Beneath
Warrior (This movie is kind of amazing. I absolutely loved it.)
The Joseph Smith movie x2 (I cannot watch this without crying. It isn't possible.)
The Dark Knight
It's a Wonderful Life
Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows x2
Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs
Return to Me
Hard Day's Night

TV SHOWS

24 Season 1
Bones Season 5
24 Season 2
24 Season 3
That 70s Show Season 1
Veronica Mars Season 1
Veronica Mars Season 2
Veronica Mars Season 3
Scrubs Season 1
Alias Season 1
Alias Season 2 (The cliffhangers in this show are going to kill me. Seriously.)
Alias Season 3
Community Season 2 (I watched it live, so it wasn't all this year, but I figured I'd include it.)
Alias Season 4
Bones Season 6 (Watched live. Oh my gosh, that ending!)
Alias Season 5 (Finally! It felt like this series took forever to finish.)
Glee Season 2 (Watched live.)
Scrubs Season 2
Scrubs Season 3
Scrubs Season 4
Harper's Island (13 episodes of complete ridiculousness. 32 people die. Gruesome, but somehow also incredibly entertaining.)
Scrubs Season 5
So You Think You Can Dance Season 8 (watched live)
Friday Night Lights Season 1 (This show is totally awesome.)
Friday Night Lights Season 2 (I am completely in love with this show. It is absolutely amazing.)
Friday Night Lights Season 3
Friday Night Lights Season 4
The Walking Dead Season 1 (Zombies everywhere!)
Friday Night Lights Season 5 (I think this is my favorite TV show ever. I don't know anything that can beat it.)
Firefly, including the movie Serenity (I can definitely see why this has such a cult following.)

The Books of 2011

2012-01-03T16:23:00.000-07:00

Last year, I decided to start tracking every book I read as a page on this here blog. I really enjoyed it. It allowed me to give my gut reactions to the books, if I felt the need. Then I would go on to goodreads.com to write up my full review. (If you're on Goodreads, look me up! I love sharing book reviews. It's the best.)

I will start tracking the books of 2012 as soon as I finish my current read. I wonder if my new Kindle will make a difference in my total this year. Yeah, probably not.

One thing I feel the need to point out: only 5 of these 35 books were rereads. That is kind of amazing for me. I generally fall back on books that I already know and love when I need something new to read, but this year I was pretty good at finding new books, some of which were simply amazing and will someday fall into that reread category.

So, without further ado, here is the complete list of every book I read during 2011. Is it sad that I wish I had read more than 35 books?

The Well of Ascension (Mistborn #2) by Brandon Sanderson
The Hero of Ages (Mistborn #3) by Brandon Sanderson (Such a good series! So many good twists and turns. I highly recommend it.)
The Knife of Never Letting Go (Chaos Walking #1) by Patrick Ness
The Ask and the Answer (Chaos Walking #2) by Patrick Ness
Monsters of Men (Chaos Walking #3) by Patrick Ness (I will gush and gush and gush about this series if you let me. Creatively written with beautiful imagery and ridiculous emotion. I absolutely loved these books.)
A Tree Grows in Brooklyn by Betty Smith (This took me ages to read, but it was a lovely book. I really enjoyed watching Francie Nolan grow up.)
Getting the Girl by Markus Zusak (This shows Zusak's personality so well. It's a simple, quick read, but it's got a lot of meaning behind it.)
Truth Will Prevail (The Work and the Glory #3) by Gerald N. Lund (This is a reread because I ran out of new things to read and everything I want to read is currently on hold at the library. Plus, I haven't read this series since I splurged and bought, like, all of them, so I'm working on that in between the new books I read. *End lengthy, unnecessary explanation.)
The Alchemyst (The Secrets of the Immortal Nicholas Flamel #1) by Michael Scott
These Is My Words by Nancy E. Turner (This book broke my heart, in a very good way.)
I Am Not a Serial Killer (John Cleaver #1) by Dan Wells (Pretty creepy book. Definitely not for the faint of heart, but incredibly interesting.)
Mr. Monster (John Cleaver #2) by Dan Wells (Creepier than the first, but also better.)
The Weed that Strings the Hangman's Bag (Flavia de Luce #2) by Alan Bradley
The Name of the Wind (Kingkiller Chronicle Day One) by Patrick Rothfuss (Super long, but really good, after I finally got into it.)
High Fidelity by Nick Hornby (This book was so-so. Nothing spectacular.)
Twisted by Laurie Halse Anderson (Another so-so book. I'm ready for something un-put-downable now.)
The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini (What a beautiful, heart-wrenching, and moving book.)
Chains (Seeds of America #1) by Laurie Halse Anderson (Anderson certainly knows how to create a voice for her characters.)
Where Are the Children? by Mary Higgins Clark (This was okay, though Clark really isn't a great novelist. Storyteller, yes. Novelist, no. There is absolutely no imagery whatsoever.)
The Lost Hero (The Heroes of Olympus #1) by Rick Riordan (Awesome continuation of Percy Jackson. Seriously can't wait for the next book, which I will end up buying.)
Fever by Laurie Halse Anderson (This was probably the most subtly terrifying book I've ever read.)
The Wise Man's Fear (Kingkiller Chronicle Day Two) by Patrick Rothfuss (Holy freaking long book, Batman! 994 pages. Whew.)
Forge (Seeds of America #2) by Laurie Halse Anderson
I Don't Want to Kill You (John Cleaver #3) by Dan Wells (The ending of this book tore at my heart.)
Forever (The Wolves of Mercy Falls #3) by Maggie Stiefvater
Tennis Shoes Among the Nephites (Tennis Shoes #1) by Chris Heimerdinger
Lament: The Faerie Queen's Deception (Books of Faerie #1) by Maggie Stiefvater (Yes, this book is about faeries. But it's about the scary, medieval kind, not the Disney, Tinkerbell kind.)
Ballad: A Gathering of Faerie (Books of Faerie #2) by Maggie Stiefvater
The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton
Tennis Shoes: Gadiantons and the Silver Sword (Tennis Shoes #2) by Chris Heimerdinger
Tennis Shoes: Feathered Serpent, Part 1 (Tennis Shoes #3) by Chris Heimerdinger
The Underdog by Markus Zusak (Zusak is amazing. I just love his writing style.)
Fighting Ruben Wolfe by Markus Zusak (I still love his writing style a whole bunch.)
The Son of Neptune (The Heroes of Olympus #2) by Rick Riordan (Yay for the return of Percy! Definitely one of my most favorite characters ever.)
The New World (Chaos Walking #0.5) by Patrick Ness (This is actually a short story, but I'll include it anyway. Because I can.)

Merry Christmas!

2011-12-26T17:32:00.000-07:00

A day late, it's true. But better late than never, right?

This is the first Christmas since I graduated college that I am staying at my parents' house for more than a few days. I took the three days between Chirstmas and New Year's off of work, mostly just because I could. Provo is pretty empty, and my dad and I are already planning on eating Godfather's mushroom pizza while watching BYU's bowl game on Friday, so I figure there's no real rush for me to head back to my apartment.

I've spent the last three days lounging, visiting family, opening presents, eating junk food, and blowing my weight in snot out of my nose. (I've been sick for two weeks now, and my nose is the last thing to clear up. It's super annoying.) I'm planning on spending the rest of the week sleeping, playing with my Kindle, watching movies, taking pictures with my new camera, eating a lot of candy, and maybe doing some shopping. Sounds like a good way to spend the holidays.

I may get a little bored, but I'm not too worried about it. I'm very much looking forward to the break from work. It will be nice to just relax and not worry about anything. Then I'll watch BYU take on Tulsa before heading home and wrangling up any stragglers in Provo who want to do something for New Year's.

I've already had a great Christmas, and I'm sure New Year's will be fun too. Merry Christmas, everyone! I hope you've all had a fantastic holiday so far.

A Problem

2011-12-15T21:01:00.002-07:00

Whenever December rolls around and I wrap up my thankful posts, I always have the hardest time thinking of things to post about. It's like all my blogging energy gets used up in the frenzy of November and I have nothing left for the next month.

Then there's finals week, which generally kills my social life because most of my friends lock themselves away in the library and bury themselves in their books.

And then it's Christmas break, which leaves me mostly alone in Provo/Magna while everyone heads off to their various Christmas destinations.

I will try my hardest to think of things to post about this month, but I can't guarantee anything, and for that, I apologize in advance.

Giving Thanks Day 30: A Plan

2011-11-30T22:37:00.000-07:00

Well, here it is. The last day of November. I honestly can't believe that tomorrow is December and that the year is almost over. It has gone by so quickly. It's crazy how fast time flies when you get out of college and are no longer living your life in four-month increments.

November has been an insane month. So many things happened, both good and bad. It has been a month of learning and growth and a little bit of pain. But it has also been a month of triumph and of truly recognizing how many wonderful blessings I have been given. I feel like a good portion of my posts this month have had something to do with the Gospel, and I love that, because despite the hard things this month, it has also been a wonderfully spiritual month for me. I have felt so close to the Lord and so aware of all that I have been given.

So on this the last day of November, I am thankful for my knowledge of my Savior. I am thankful that He is aware of me and of my trials. He knows what I am going through, and best of all, He knows what I need. He has a plan for me, and that plan is better for than anything I could come up with myself. I feel like the main lesson I need to learn in my life (at least at this point in my life) is that I must have faith in my Heavenly Father's plan for me. When I get frustrated because something I want to do isn't working out, I just have to sit back and have faith that the Lord is putting me in a position where I can fully claim all the blessings he has for me. I have a Savior. I have a Heavenly Father. And they care about me and want what's best for me. If I just have faith in their wisdom, life will work out for me, and I will be happy.

I am so thankful for the Gospel and for the guiding influence it is in my life. I am so thankful for the knowledge I have of my Savior and of all that He has sacrificed for me. The Book of Mormon is the word of God, and Thomas S. Monson is a latter-day prophet who guides us in these days. I am a daughter of a Heavenly Father who loves me and is watching over me. I am so thankful for that knowledge. I don't know where I would be without the Gospel in my life.

Giving Thanks Day 29: Courage

2011-11-29T23:43:00.000-07:00

To kind of piggyback on yesterday's post, this morning I woke up to find a card that had been pushed under my door. It was from Brittany. She told me she thought I was making an impact with my actions and encouraged me to follow through with a decision I made last night while we were talking. That card helped me set a deadline to do what I said I would do.

Part of me doesn't really want to get too detailed with this story simply because I don't know who'll read it and figure out the people involved. The other part of me doesn't give a crap about who knows what. I'm giving in to the latter part, though I am going to omit names. I don't want to make this too obvious. (And I apologize if this post gets lengthy—I will attempt to be as concise as possible.)

To preface, I have had a rough couple of weeks. I've been stressed and anxious and sleep deprived, which only enhances the stress and anxiety. In the midst of all my venting to Brittany last night, I mentioned that I kind of wanted to ask a certain guy in our ward if I could just talk to him. I wanted to talk to someone who was outside of the situation and who I didn't already talk to every day. Not to mention that I've been pretty interested in this guy for a while now. Brittany fully supported this idea and told me to ask him to get hot cocoa.

So today, I actually did it. I texted him. I put myself out there. And it was really difficult for me, mostly because I just don't ever do that. I hate looking needy or vulnerable because it opens me up to heartache. It's so much easier to just kind of shut myself off and convince myself that if a guy doesn't see past my walls on his own, he's not worth my time. However, I have come to the conclusion recently that this is a stupid way to live my life. So I took steps to change it. I texted this guy (who I will from now on refer to as Der Junge ["the boy" in German] because it's easier than "this guy") and told him that I needed to talk to someone. I asked if he had time to get hot cocoa sometime, and he responded, "Yeah for sure." Score one point for Lindy.

We set a time to go tonight, and I was super proud of myself for about five minutes until reality set in. I had just told Der Junge that I needed to talk to him, and he said sure. That meant that I would actually have to talk to him. That he would ask me what was going on. That I would have to open up. Yikes. But I couldn't back out, and I didn't really want to back out. I wanted to do this—that's the whole reason I sent the dang text to begin with.

So at 6:30, I headed over to Der Junge's apartment, and we drove over to the Cocoa Bean. Der Junge paid for my pumpkin steamer (score one point for Der Junge), and then we stole a couple of comfy armchairs. And we talked. And talked. And talked. For three and a half hours. Without a pause. Without a hint of awkwardness. It was comfortable and it was natural. We talked about everything from dating to books to gay people. (Yes, gay people.) We had meaningful conversations, we were open with each other, and we got along so much better than I could have ever anticipated. I didn't worry about how he was viewing me our how my words were being perceived. We just kind of seemed to understand each other.

When Der Junge finally decided it was time to leave, he was surprised to find that it was 10:00. He thought it was 8:30 at the latest. He blew off a friend he was supposed to work out with at 9:00 because he just lost track of the time. That has to be a good sign, right? I sure like to think so. Another good sign is that we've been texting since we got back to the complex. I'm a bit of a happy girl tonight.

So today, I am thankful that I had courage and that I did something that was scary. I pushed myself out of my comfort zone. I broke out of my shell a bit. And while it could have easily blown up in my face and made me feel like the biggest idiot in the entire world, it didn't. In fact, it was the complete opposite. The whole evening was a smashing success, and it all came about because I had the courage to do something different. I don't know if this will lead to anything. It may, or it may not. But even if nothing comes of tonight, I am still thankful I did it. Because I grew from it and I learned from it, which is what this life is all about.

Giving Thanks Day 28: Roommates

2011-11-28T23:48:00.000-07:00

Tonight was not a good night for me. Nothing bad really happened, but I was incredibly discouraged. I simply felt that nothing I did was good enough. I felt wholly inadequate in everything I was trying to do. Over the last couple of weeks, I have given a dear friend scadwads of advice, and I didn't feel like any of it had done any good. I think the discouragement there was fueled by the fact that I knew it was time to back off. I can't make decisions for people, and I know that.

I was also discouraged because I felt like nothing I was doing on the boy front was helping me either. I have been more social this semester than I ever have been before. I have a lot of really good friends in my ward, and I try to spend as much time as I can with them. I have even created a bit of a reputation for myself because I always invite a bunch of people over to watch BYU basketball and football. I know of one person in the ward who views my apartment in conjunction with Kira and Heather's apartment as the "social hub" of the ward (whatever that means, exactly). Basically, I am so involved in this ward that I know a vast majority of the people in it and they know me. So why in the world are no guys asking me out?! It's not like they don't know who I am.

So...yeah. I am a very frustrated and discouraged Lindy tonight. But one good thing about it is that I have plenty of people I can talk to, three of whom are easily accessible, mostly because they live with me. I am so incredibly thankful that I have such fabulous roommates. I honestly don't know how I lucked out so thoroughly. Alison, Brittany, Cora, and I get along swimmingly, and even the addition of Alison's boyfriend Russ hasn't messed anything up. (He's a quite entertaining guy to talk to, actually.) I mostly talked to Brittany tonight, and she was so good about just listening and doing what she could to make me feel better. After talking to her, I actually made some decisions about things, which made me feel better about life in general. I'm so thankful that I'm lucky enough to live with these girls because they are incredible.

Cora looking fabulous, as always.

Alison doing service (with a couple of other really awesome girls).

Brittany fishing like a pro.

Giving Thanks Day 27: My Calling

2011-11-27T16:27:00.000-07:00

Last night was a bit of an interesting night. I rolled back into Provo at around nine and then went to visit a couple of friends. After chatting and watching a movie, I went back to my apartment at around midnight. I talked to Brittany for a while, and then Cora came home, and Cora and I ended up talking until probably about 1:30.

Now, none of that in and of itself is out of the ordinary. In fact, that's become a fairly normal night for me, especially on the weekends. Here was the problem: We have 8:30 church. At 1:30, I had yet to put any of my stuff away from my trip to my parents. My bed was a shambles and without sheets. And as if that wasn't bad enough, I still had to plan my lesson for Relief Society the next day. Awesome.

I think it was a little after 2:00 when I finally started planning my lesson. Don't get me wrong—I knew what my lesson was on and I had listened to the conference talk already. I had been thinking about it for weeks. But I had yet to sit down and actually plan out how I wanted my lesson to go. And 2:00 in the morning isn't really ideal thinking time for Lindy.

I have to say that I was pretty worried about my lesson that day. I was running on roughly four and a half hours of sleep, which is ridiculous. But when I got up to teach, I was wide awake. I didn't feel lethargic at all. I tried my best to follow what the Spirit prompted, and I hope that came across. It doesn't matter how many times I teach—I never know how well I've done unless someone tells me. I can never gauge it myself. But I did get a few very nice comments from sisters, so I think it went well overall.

I am so thankful for this calling. I absolutely love teaching Relief Society. It's so nice that I don't have to do something every week, and I get such fulfillment out of teaching a good lesson. And because I teach on the fourth Sunday, I get to delve into conference talks that I may not have thoroughly studied otherwise. I am so thankful for the things I have learned with my calling and for the blessings the Lord has given me through it. So many things have been clarified in my mind as I have taught lessons. I feel like every talk I am supposed to teach is meant for me, and it is such a wonderful feeling to know that my Heavenly Father is aware of and watching out for me.

Giving Thanks Day 26: Christmas

2011-11-26T16:27:00.000-07:00

In my parents' house, the weekend after Thanksgiving is always full of Christmas decorating. My dad pulls the seemingly countless bins of decorations from the basement while my mom sorts through what she has to figure out what she's going to put where (and to remember all the decorations she bought dirt cheap after Christmas the year before). Christmas music fills the house as mom replaces pictures and sets up nativity scenes. Dad goes outside to put the lights up on the house. I help with whatever I'm called to help with, whether it be putting up the tree or giving Dad an opinion on something outside.

I love how much my family gets into Christmas. There has never been a year that I can remember when Dad didn't put lights up outside or when the house wasn't bursting with nativities and Santas and snowmen. My future husband better be ready—I'm going to make him put lights up on the house and help me decorate the rest of the house. There is no negotiating. I will have lots of Christmas decorations.

The whole reason I love decorating so much is that it helps bring the spirit of Christmas into my life. I love Christmastime. I love Christmas music and Christmas trees and Christmas lights. I even love snow for Christmas, though after Christmas it could all just go away and I'd be happy. Most of all, I love how most people, regardless of religious beliefs, seem to embrace the spirit of Christmas. For the month of December, no one complains when they hear songs like "Silent Night," "The First Noel," or "O Holy Night." During Christmas, fewer people seem to balk at the mention of Christ. And I love that. It brings such a feeling of togetherness. For one month of the year, people make a concerted effort to forget their differences and be generous and kind to those around them.

I'm so thankful for this time of year when the Spirit of Christ strikes more deeply into the hearts of men. I'm thankful for the chance to remember Christ and His birth all month long. I'm thankful that I know the true meaning of Christmas and the true reason behind the magic of this time of year. And most of all, I'm thankful for Christ, without whom we all would be lost.

Giving Thanks Day 25: Sleeping In

2011-11-25T21:38:00.000-07:00

This weekend, I only had one thing in mind (besides celebrating Thanksgiving, of course): getting as much sleep as possible. The previous week and a half or two weeks I had averaged probably six hours of sleep a night. Anyone who knows me well knows that I don't function well if I don't get a decent amount of sleep every night (decent being about eight hours). I become ornery and generally unpleasant to be around.

So today I slept for a very long time. I slept until nearly one, I believe. Super late, I know, but let me tell you—it felt AWESOME. Oh my gosh, so awesome. It was definitely worth the ridicule I got from my dad. And I get to sleep in again tomorrow. I am so thankful for three days straight of sleeping for as long as I want. It's exactly what I need right now.

Giving Thanks Day 24: Mom

2011-11-24T20:37:00.000-07:00

First of all, happy Thanksgiving, everyone! I hope you are all having a wonderful holiday with people you love. And speaking of people I love, my mom is the greatest. I woke up this morning to a house smelling of all the Thanksgiving smells you could think of: ham, turkey, stuffing, rolls, pie....It's amazing how so many different smells can coalesce into one (still good) aroma that brings so many memories and feelings.

All of this food was prepared by my mom. The entire meal, barring a couple of sides and pies. I have no idea what time she got up to get everything done, but she let me sleep until noon. She didn't roust me out of bed to help like she could have. And even after I got up, she let me lounge around in my pajamas for a good couple of hours before I finally decided to be a human being and look decent.

I have such a good mom. She has always, always been there for me whenever I need it. I can talk to her about anything. Even as a teenager when I did things I knew I shouldn't have done, I could talk to Mom about it. Even though I knew I would get in trouble, I also knew that Mom would be supportive and that she wouldn't fly off the handle. I don't think I took advantage of that blessing enough when I was younger. I know so many people that have a hard time talking to their moms about issues, and all I can ever think is how grateful I am for a mom I can confide in.

I am just now coming to realize a portion of what my mom went through when I was a teenager. I honestly have no idea how she dealt with some of the stupid things I did, especially when I wouldn't listen to any of her advice. She must have been stressed out of her head for me, and I didn't even know it.

My mom has also been an incredible example to me of how to live faithfully in the Church. She has never really doubted the truthfulness of the Gospel, and that has been such a strength to me and for my own growing testimony as I grew up. I am so thankful for a loving mom who is always there when I need her. I am so thankful that she and my dad have such a strong relationship and that I had the incredible blessing of growing up in a stable home environment. I love my mom so much, and I can't say how thankful I am for all the countless things she has done for me.

After the braces came off. She doesn't look excited at all, does she?

Giving Thanks Day 23: Long Weekends

2011-11-23T22:59:00.001-07:00

I am currently at home in Magna, sitting in my parents' living room watching random HGTV shows with my mom. It's officially the weekend, for four days. That's three straight days of sleeping in (since 8:30 church on Sunday is obviously not sleeping in), which sounds FABULOUS right now. I honestly don't even know why I'm still awake. I'm exhausted.

I love the holidays—especially when I get them off with pay. That's honestly the best part of having a full-time job, I think. And I'm so thankful for this holiday in particular. I love Thanksgiving, and I desperately need this break right now.

I'm so thankful for the holidays and the time I get to spend with my family and to remember those things that are the most important in life.

Giving Thanks Day 22: Cora

2011-11-22T18:08:00.000-07:00

So I know this really cool girl. She's freaking adorable (unfairly so), and she has the sharpest wit of almost anyone I know. She is kind and loving and legitimately cares about people. She comes off as shy and unassuming, and then she'll come out with the funniest thing you've ever heard seemingly out of the blue. She is clever and charming and everyone who knows her loves her. She has dealt with a lot in her life, which makes her seem much older than her 21 years. She is an amazing friend who will do anything to help those she loves.

This girl's name is Cora. Cora is my roommate. She's my best friend. She's my cousin. She's my pseudo-sister.

I am the youngest in my family, so I never grew up with that innate desire to protect a younger sibling. But in the year and a half that I have lived with Cora, I have come to know what it's like to be protective of someone. To want to make everything bad go away. To want to beat the crap out of anyone that treats that person unfairly.

I love Cora more than I can possibly say. I have grown almost as close to her as I am to my own sister. Cora and I have countless inside jokes, and we frequently have conversations that make no sense to anyone else in the room. Someone will say something that triggers a funny memory, and all Cora and I have to do is look at each other before we're rolling on the floor laughing. We play off each other. We have fake arguments. We get annoyed with each other, stop talking for a night, then apologize the next day and things go back to normal.

Cora deals with me barging into her room to ask her how my outfit looks or to whine to her about something that's been bugging me. She endures my frequent complaints about boys. She goes with me to random things (like work parties) simply because I don't want to go alone.

I am so thankful that I have been able to live with Cora the past couple of years. I am so thankful that she came out to Provo for school so that I could have the opportunity to grow so close to her. I am so thankful that she enjoys spending time with me just as much as I enjoy spending time with her. I don't know what I would do without her. I love her so much and I can't adequately express how thankful I am that she is in my life.

This is kind of an old picture, but it's still one of my very favorites

Giving Thanks Day 21: Free Food

2011-11-21T21:28:00.000-07:00

This is probably going to be a very simple and short post. But that's okay, because I feel like my thankful posts this year have been so much longer than my thankful posts from the past two years. I must just be feeling overly verbose lately.

Anyway, tonight was a ward activity, where we had a Thanksgiving meal (of course). It was good. And because I haven't gone grocery shopping in a couple of weeks, it was great to get a full meal. I am super thankful for free food. I mean, really, who isn't?

I am also thankful that I got to watch my fellow ward members do ridiculous things during the Minute to Win It relay. Jon sure knows how to shake his booty. And I'm seriously surprised Jeff and Adam didn't puke after speed eating three Little Debbie pies. Sheesh.

Giving Thanks Day 20: Friends Part 2

2011-11-20T21:48:00.000-07:00

I feel like I've talked over and over about friends and guys and my ward on this blog, but the past couple of weeks have been such a huge example of the importance of good friends. They have all been such a strength to me the past little while.

I always think about the people in my ward on Sundays because in a singles ward, Sunday is one of the most social days of the week, if not the most social. Not only do I see my friends at church, but I see them at choir, at break the fast, at ward prayer, at firesides, and at each other's apartments. I always have something going on, and it's awesome.

I've said this before, but I'm going to repeat myself. I tried very hard to find an opportunity to get out of Provo this past summer. I was frustrated and fed up. I only knew a few people in my ward, and I didn't feel like I knew any of them well enough to call on them if I needed something or even if I was just bored. Boys weren't asking me out. I just didn't like how things were going.

But all of my efforts were in vain, and I ended up staying at Carriage Cove for another year. I figured that at the very least, I would have Cora to hang out with and we would make our own fun (which we are pretty good at, by the way). Instead, Cora and I decided to make an effort, starting with our BYU football party. Brittany and Alison became our new roommates and jumped right in, helping us make food and decorate. Ever since then, things have taken a 180-degree turn. (Well, boys still aren't asking me out, but that is another blog post for another day.)

Basically what I'm saying is that I am so incredibly thankful that the Lord had other plans for me. I am so thankful that I couldn't make moving out of Provo work when I wanted it to. I'm still not 100 percent sure why I was supposed to stay in Carriage Cove, but I know that meeting all these amazing people has to be part of it.

Giving Thanks Day 19: Dad

2011-11-19T22:59:00.000-07:00

Today was gameday, yet again. The last home football game of the season. It was a freaking 8:15 start time, which was abysmal. Seriously. And it was FREEZING COLD. I felt really bad for not caring more about the final home game, but BYU was playing New Mexico State. They won 42–7. It wasn't very exciting. So I went home after the first three quarters. Because my toes were about to fall off, I swear it.

Despite the game being marginally miserable, gameday meant that I got to spend some time with my dad. You could argue that your dad is the best until you're blue in the face, but I will never waver that I am the one with the best dad in the world. Which is probably the way it should be. But for reals, my dad blows everyone else's dad out of the water.

It is thanks to my dad that I am such an avid sports fan. Growing up, I would watch sports with him and ask him question after question until I understood the rules. I still remember watching Jazz games with him when I was little and whispering, "Yes!" when something good would happen because I was too embarrassed to react out loud. (That has since changed, as anyone who has watched sports with me knows.) I remember watching football with him and, getting exasperated, blurting, "Dad, what is going on? Explain this to me!" He always knew everything. He knew all the rules and was patient in explaining them to me so I would understand. I'm pretty sure he just enjoyed having a daughter who wanted to understand and enjoy sports with him.

My dad is also an incredible example of service. He is currently serving as bishop for the second time. He only had a three-year break between callings. But he is such a good bishop. He does all that he can for the members in his ward, and it is so apparent that he cares about them and wants to do what is best for them.

I am so thankful for my dad and for everything he does for me. He has given me countless father's blessings throughout my life, and I have been so incredibly blessed by his worthiness to hold the priesthood. I am also so thankful that I know my dad loves my mom. I have never once questioned his love and loyalty to her, and it has shown me the kinds of things I should look for in my own future spouse.

Basically, my dad is the best ever. I love him so much. I don't know what I would do without him.

Giving Thanks Day 18: Personal Revelation

2011-11-18T23:38:00.000-07:00

Today I went to the temple. It was quite possibly the first time I had ever gone twice in one month. I've always struggled a little bit with temple attendance. I had a whole bucketload of things on my mind, and while I didn't get a specific answer necessarily for any one thing, I came out feeling like everything would work out. I was comforted to know that I was doing everything I could do in the things I was going through and that it was mostly just time for me to have faith and to trust that the Lord knows what He's doing.

I am so thankful that I have a knowledge of my Heavenly Father. I'm thankful that I can go to Him whenever I need help and that He will always, always be there to listen to me and answer my prayers. I'm so thankful for personal revelation and for the chance to be guided in my everyday life. Even though sometimes I may feel like I am praying for silly things, I know the Lord wants me to go to Him with everything. Even if the answer is, "It's up to you," I know that my Heavenly Father is listening to me and pointing me in the direction I need to go.

Source

I really like this painting. It very much illustrates how I feel when my eyes are opened and I receive answers to my prayers.

Giving Thanks Day 17: Sleep

2011-11-17T21:26:00.001-07:00

I am absolutely exhausted today. On Tuesday night, I managed to get myself into bed before midnight. It was awesome. The eight hours of sleep was just what I needed. That was the first time in I don't know how long that I had actually gotten to sleep before midnight. I thought I would continue it last night, but alas, I didn't get to bed until 1:30. Yeah, I'd say that's a little after midnight.

After all the stress of things both personal and work related this week, today was a rough day. My brain was mush. I had to read everything four times before the words on the screen finally had some semblance of meaning. My tired brain and my tired eyes conspired against me. You know it's especially bad when co-workers are asking you if you're okay.

You know how you never fully appreciate something until it's gone? Well, for that reason, today I appreciate sleep. I have had far less of it than I should have had lately, and I'm thankful that I am not doing anything else tonight, which means that if I'm smart, I will get to bed at a decent time. And if I can do that, I know I'll be doubly thankful tomorrow morning for the sleep I get tonight.

This is what I wanted to be doing at work today.

Giving Thanks Day 16: Laughter

2011-11-16T23:17:00.000-07:00

Tonight I went out to Zupas with Cora, Kira, and Heather. I think it was a much-needed release of some pent-up emotions (at least for me and Cora) because we basically just laughed at everything, all night long. And it felt SO GOOD. It felt like it had been ages since I had laughed that hard. It was fabulous. The laughter continued when we watched Meet the Robinsons and then went over to Zach and Jon's apartment to watch Psych. I don't really watch Psych, and I honestly didn't pay too much attention to it, but Zach and Jon make me laugh all the time, which is why I like hanging out with them so much.

I'm so thankful for laughter. I know that sounds a little odd, but what kind of life would it be if there weren't things to be laughed at? I get so much enjoyment out of laughing, and I always feel so fulfilled after I've had a good guffaw. I love having to catch my breath after laughing so hard it hurts. It's such a release. I always feel infinitely better after I've had a good laugh.

Giving Thanks Day 15: Music

2011-11-15T22:17:00.001-07:00

First of all, I should say that things are looking up today. I think the crisis has been averted, for the most part, and I am simply praying that things can go back to normal fairly soon. I am absolutely exhausted, though. I don't remember the last time I went to bed before 1:00 a.m., and there have been many nights lately when I haven't slept well. And the fact that I ended up working for 10 hours today (until 7:00 p.m.) really didn't help. But things are looking better, and it's looking like I should get to bed before midnight tonight, which will be fantastic.

One thing that made my extra long workday better was Spotify and all my awesome music. I am so thankful for good music. Music is such a calming influence for me, and listening to certain music (and singing at the top of my lungs) can be super cathartic. I feel like music can express my feelings so much more powerfully than any words ever could, and I'm so thankful for the artists that seem to capture exactly what I'm feeling.

To make this thankful post a little more exciting, I'm going to include another list of some of my current favorite songs. I don't know why I love these lists so much, but I do.

"I've Got This Friend" by The Civil Wars, Barton Hollow (Okay, we all know I'm obsessed with this band, and since I already shared "Poison & Wine" and "Barton Hollow," I figured I'd choose a different song of theirs. But seriously, just go listen to this entire album. It's freaking amazing.)
"Lily's Theme" by Alexandre Desplat, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 (I really love both Deathly Hallows soundtracks.)
"Couer d'Alene" by The Head and the Heart, The Head and the Heart
"Awake My Soul" by Mumford & Sons, Sigh No More
"Pumped Up Kicks" by Foster the People, Torches (I know this song is about a kid who wants to shoot up his school, but it's so dang catchy!)
"If It Kills Me" by Jason Mraz, We Sing. We Dance. We Steal Things.
"Broken Open" by Cold War Kids, Mine Is Yours
"Lionel and Bertie" by Alexandre Desplat, The King's Speech (This soundtrack is as good as the movie. I love it so.)
"You Really Got a Hold on Me" by She & Him, Volume One (Thank you Spotify for helping me discover new artists.)
"Need You Now" by Lady Antebellum, Need You Now
"Misery" by Maroon 5, Hands All Over
"Arms" by Christina Perri, lovestrong.
"Inevitable" by Anberlin, Cities
"Someone Like You" by Adele, 21 (I can't believe it took me 14 songs to remember Adele. This is the best sing-at-the-top-of-your-lungs music. Ever.)
"Rhapsody in Blue" by The 5 Browns, No Boundaries
"Hell No" by Sondre Lerche and Regina Spektor, Dan in Real Life
"Crossfire" by Brandon Flowers, Flamingo
"Marry Me" by Train, Save Me San Francisco (This song is kind of adorable.)
"Learn to Live With What You Are" by Ben Folds, Supersunnyspeedgraphic
"Noah Visits" by James Newton Howard, The Village

Giving Thanks Day 14: The Priesthood

2011-11-14T23:43:00.000-07:00

That issue I mentioned yesterday hasn't gone away. And it probably isn't going to go away for a little while yet. Tonight I became extremely concerned for the well being of a couple of people. (I'm sorry if this starts sounding super cryptic. It's not intended—it's just not a situation that everyone needs to know about.) I was very stressed, and there was nothing I could do to fix that, so all I wanted to do was get out of my apartment. Throughout FHE, my friend Jordan simply noticed that I was having a rough time. After FHE, he said, "I'm going to go get a Mountain Dew. You wanna come?" I said yes gladly. Any excuse to get out was a good excuse.

I had a good chat with Jordan, and as I was coming home, Kira, Heather, Alison, and Kira's friend Clint were leaving my apartment to get some food. Kira invited me to go with, and I, again, gladly accepted. We drove around for half an hour, just talking. Then I went to Kira and Heather's and talked some more. I was so anxious about things that I was freaking out a little bit.

While it would have been just fine if Kira and Heather had simply talked to me and let me air out my feelings, they did so much more than that. Kira called people who needed to know what was going on so that something could actually be done about the situation. Then Heather asked me if I needed a blessing. I wasn't sure if I did or not, but Kira basically said, "It can't hurt," and called my friend Adam to come over.

This was the first time I had ever gotten a blessing from someone other than my dad or my brothers. Since I live so close to home, I've never really called on the elders in my wards to help me out when I've been in trouble. The truth is, I've never been entirely comfortable with that. But after Adam came over, talked to me about the issue, gave me a priesthood blessing, and gave me a hug, I knew that everything was going to be okay. My panic abated and I could feel the Spirit comforting me.

I am so incredibly thankful for the power of the priesthood and for the men who are worthy to hold that power. I am so thankful that there are such amazing men in my ward that I can call on in times of need. The best part about tonight was that I knew Adam wasn't the only one on the list of brethren who would have come over to give me a blessing. I can think of seven or eight other guys that would have helped me out. The priesthood is such an amazing blessing in my life, and I'm so thankful that I have such easy access to its power anytime I need it.

Giving Thanks Day 13: Tender Mercies

2011-11-13T23:34:00.000-07:00

Late last night, some crap hit the fan. I'm not going to go into detail, but a couple of us in our apartment (and one of us in particular [not me]) went into crisis mode. It was (is) a very scary and difficult situation. And while it wasn't my personal problem, it was a problem for someone I loved, so I was stressing about someone who was stressing about someone else.

All day today at church, I was a little preoccupied because I wasn't sure what was going on. I didn't know how things were going to shake out. But throughout the day, I noticed small things that helped me recognize that I am still loved despite what was going on around me. At break the fast, a friend asked me how I was doing. When I responded, "I've been better," he didn't ask me what was going on. He simply gave me a hug and told me to let him know if I needed anything.

Later tonight, I was watching a show with some friends, and they just let me talk to them about what was going on. They were simply there for me and for my roommates and also offered their services in case we needed anything.

Then I went to ward prayer, where I had a good friend sit me down and ask me sincerely how I was doing. He truly wanted to know, which was so nice and so needed. It was comforting to know that someone was paying enough attention to go out of his way to make sure I was okay.

This doesn't even count the numerous random compliments that I got from multiple people today. I'm nearly positive that none of those people had any idea how much I needed their kind words, but they were said at just the time that I needed to hear them.

I'm so thankful for those tender mercies from the Lord. Even when I am going through something very difficult, I am reminded of the amazing people in my life and of the many incredible blessings that I do have.

Giving Thanks Day 12: Brothers

2011-11-12T22:57:00.000-07:00

Today was gameday. BYU played Idaho at LaVell Edwards Stadium, which means I saw my brothers and my dad. Football is a bit of a family affair for us. The four of us get our season tickets together. Dad drives over to Ben's house, then they both drive to Matt's. Then Matt drives them down to Provo to pick me up. If it's an early game, we grab food afterward. If it's a late game (like it was yesterday), we grab dinner before. It's just the way things work.

When my brothers and I get together, we suddenly regress 20 years. I'm suddenly the 4-year-old again, while Matt is 9 and Ben is 13. Dad mostly just rolls his eyes as our stadium seats become weapons and insults are thrown back and forth.

Despite the verbal (and sometimes physical) abuse, I'm thankful for my brothers. They're both pretty awesome guys who do their best to do what's right by their families. It's been pretty cool to watch them figure out how to be dads. I love watching them play with their kids because their love for their children is so apparent.

As much as we might argue and tease, I know that my brothers love me, and I love them. They would do anything for me and can be very protective at times. I'm so thankful to have such a good relationship with my brothers. I'm also thankful to know that I have a brother on the other side of the veil who's cheering me on and watching over me. I may not have had the chance to know Bobby in this life, but I know his love for me is just as real as my living brothers'. I can't wait for the day when I will get to have all three of my brothers in the next life.

Ben and his littlest.

Matt and his two rugrats.

My big brother Bobby.

Giving Thanks Day 11: Good Entertainment

2011-11-11T23:58:00.000-07:00

I love entertaiment. That sounds like kind of a weird statement (I mean, who doesn't), but I really love books and movies and plays and concerts and sporting events. I love talking about them and enjoying them with my friends. I watch a lot of movies and a lot of TV (though I have been quite busy lately and I have been watching less), and I have seen a lot of things that I probably shouldn't have subjected myself to. There is so much filth in the entertainment industry these days, so when I see something really good, I get really excited.

Tonight I went with some friends to see a movie called Warrior at the dollar theater. I had never heard of this movie and all I knew was that it was about MMA fighting. But we looked it up on Rotten Tomatoes, and it had 93% from the audience, so I figured I could risk $2 on it. And I am so glad I did. It may have helped that I went in with absolutely no expectations, but it was so good. There were good messages, and though I don't really like MMA fighting, I'm a total sucker for inspirational sports movies, and this one was no exception. I'll be buying Warrior when it comes out on DVD, that's for sure.

I know this may be a little random, but I really am thankful for the good entertainmnet that exists in this world. There are so many bad things that sometimes we get lost in them and forget to look for the good. The entertainment industry is so far reaching and has so much capacity to spread a good word and tell a good story about perseverance or good conquering evil or simply alerting the public to something that needs attention, so I am thankful when filmmakers and musicians take advantage without being preachy or overbearing. Those are the movies or TV shows or the songs that I like the most.

It also never hurts when there are reeeeeaaallly attractive men in said movie.

Giving Thanks Day 10: Morality

2011-11-10T18:39:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I know that title is a little weird, but I promise it will make sense once I'm done with this post.

So. I'm a college sports fan. We should all know this by now. No surprise. And my favorite team is BYU. Again, no surprise. In the past little while, there have been all sorts of scandals involving college athletics, and especially football. Ohio State, Miami, UCF, Oregon, and USC have all been involved in various illegal activities that have brought sanctions from the NCAA. But the worst sports scandal of all time broke this week at Penn State. I don't want to get into details because they are awful and sordid and make me ill. You can go look them up yourselves if you don't know them already. Basically, there was a sick, sick man who coached the football team and whose alleged crimes were seemingly covered up by the athletics department. Two people have stepped down, two have been fired, and one has been placed on administrative leave because they all failed (in the hugest way possible) to make the right decision in a moral situation when children's welfare was at stake.

Now to what I'm thankful for today. I am thankful that I attended a university that stands for something more than athletics. I am thankful that while the athletics department isn't perfect (men's volleyball has had some issues), it at least knows that it isn't the be-all and end-all and doesn't take precedence over human life. After this Penn State scandal, BYU is now the only Division I football program to have won a national championship without a major NCAA violation, and I am proud of that.

With so much moral ambiguity in the world, I am so thankful that I have a good moral basis. I belong to a church that espouses moral excellence and teaches its members to strive to do good in all things. Because of that foundation, I have an automatic answer in many situations that would confuse and conflict others. I know that there is a right and a wrong choice, and I know that I have the ability and the knowledge to choose the right. That is such a blessing in my life.

Giving Thanks Day 9: Modern Medicine

2011-11-09T20:57:00.000-07:00

Today has not been a great day. I slept terribly last night, and I was in pain most of the day at work. I was exhausted and miserable, but I made it through the day. When I got home, all I wanted to do was take a nap, but I didn't get a chance, and now it's too late. So I'm going to do my best to get to bed at a decent time. Decent being, like, ten. I am so tired.

All of that combined meant that I was having a really hard time thinking of something to be thankful for. When I'm tired and ornery, all I can ever think of is my misery. So I thought of one thing that helped lessen my misery: ibuprofen. If not for ibuprofen, I wouldn't have made it through work today, and I probably wouldn't have gotten the sleep I did get. It makes me thankful that I live in a time when I have access to modern medicine. Modern healthcare is amazing in how many illnesses we no longer have to worry about. If you think about it, it's kind of amazing that I can go to the store and spend $5 on these tiny little pellets that will make my pain go away.

Giving Thanks Day 8: Groceries

2011-11-08T23:48:00.000-07:00

For the last three weeks, I have been eating out for lunch just about every day. Don't ask me what I've eaten for dinner because I most likely couldn't tell you. If I wasn't buying something, I was probably eating a string cheese or an apple or Halloween candy or something ridiculous like that. It had been so long since I had been grocery shopping that my cupboards were pretty bare. I was living on toast and apples.

Today I finally bit the bullet and went grocery shopping. I got everything that I needed and didn't even get many snacks, which is always a win for me. And now I won't have to spend all my money on fast food, thank goodness. I am so thankful for a fridge and a pantry that are now fully stocked. I'm actually really looking forward to eating sandwiches for lunch again.

Giving Thanks Day 7: This Beautiful World

2011-11-07T19:06:00.000-07:00

I work in a corner office with three other people. We have windows on two walls, which means we have a pretty good view from the third floor. As I was getting ready to leave at about five, it was snowing, when suddenly there was a break in the clouds right where the sun was setting. Everything turned orange, and the snow was glowing as it fell. It was beautiful.

As I was walking to my car, I simply marvelled at this beautiful world that we live in. I know a lot of people who complain about Utah weather, but I love that we get to experience four separate seasons. It is so beautiful here with the snow on the mountains or the flaming red and orange leaves or the pinks of blooming blossoms. There is so much beauty in this world, and I am so thankful that I get to experience it every day. I simply don't understand how anyone could gaze upon the beauty of the world around them and not submit that there is a God.

This picture doesn't do even the slightest justice to how gorgeous the sunset was tonight.

Giving Thanks Day 6: My Ward

2011-11-06T17:13:00.000-07:00

Today was a good Sunday. Which is to be expected because every Sunday is good. However, it could have been a better Sunday, and I'll tell you why. We had stake conference today, which was a great meeting, but it wasn't the same as going to my own ward. Even though I sat by a bunch of people from my ward and hung out with multiple friends tonight, it just wasn't the same as going to church with my own ward.

There have been multiple times in my time in Provo when I have gone home as often as I could because I didn't like my ward. Usually it was because I was too shy or too afraid to get to know people, so I never felt fully comfortable or welcome. I've never liked the feeling of being alone, so I would go to my home ward with my parents where I knew people.

There have also been times where I haven't wanted to go home because I've felt so comfortable with and so involved in my singles ward, and this is one of those times. I was sad that we had stake conference today because I wanted to go to my ward where I knew everyone and felt completely at home. When I could have skipped ward prayer, I made an effort to go because I wanted to see my friends.

I'm so thankful that I belong to a church where I can always be a part of something. I know that when I don't feel like I belong in my ward it is often my own doing. I've made an effort lately, and it has paid off in a big way. If I ever need anything, I have a whole list of people I know I can contact who would be more than willing to come help me with whatever I need. I belong in this ward and I feel like I belong. I'm happy here and I don't want to go anywhere else. This is my ward and my home, and I'm so thankful for the opportunities I've had and the people I've met here.

Giving Thanks Day 5: Sisters

2011-11-05T19:30:00.000-06:00

Today was a wonderful day. Cora and I drove up to Salt Lake to meet up with my mom, my sister, and my sisters-in-law to eat lunch at Zupas (always and forever a good choice) and get pedicures. OMGosh, I love pedicures. It doesn't matter that it's getting cold and that no one will see my toes for months. I like knowing that my toes are pretty. And I'll take a foot massage any chance I get.

It was so nice to spend an afternoon with the girls. I spend a whole lot of time with the boys in my family during the fall because I go to football games with them, so it's nice to set aside some girly time too. I'm so grateful for my sisters. My sisters-in-law are so much a part of the family that I don't even think to differentiate sometimes, which is such a blessing. Cora might as well be my sister with how close we are.

Chelly, my true full-blooded sister, is simply amazing. Sometimes I forget how much I enjoy talking to her. She's always been my staunchest advocate. She thinks I'm awesome, and I know this because she tells me frequently. She tells me often that she wishes I lived closer so I could see her and my two freaking adorable nieces more often. Growing up, I learned so much from Chelly. I remember her teaching me the importance of the Sacrament. I also learned the blessings of scripture study through her example and testimony.

Chelly also taught me how to do makeup and my hair and took me shopping all the time (even though I usually hated it). She invited me to hang out with her friends, even though I was five years younger than everyone else. I remember being 14 and hanging out with a bunch of Chelly's college friends. Nobody thought it was weird because I was invited—I was never the annoying little sister who was shooed away. As jealous as I was of Chelly's looks (because she's absolutely gorgeous), she never made me feel inferior in any way. In fact, she was usually the best at building me up. She always made sure to let me know just how beautiful she thought I was and how much she loved me.

All of my sisters are incredible people, and I'm so incredibly thankful for the sister I got to grow up with. I have the best sister in the entire world, no battle.

Those glasses are the best.

Giving Thanks Day 4: Work & Money

2011-11-04T19:44:00.000-06:00

Today was the day I look forward to every two weeks: pay day. I am so thankful that I have a job that gives me a consistent pay check. I know that every two weeks, my bank account will be replenished. I don't have to worry about where I will get the money to pay rent or utilities or my car payment. My job can be frustrating, and I don't think I make nearly as much as I should, but at least I have a job. I am so fortunate to have what I have. There are so many people out there who aren't quite as fortunate.

Giving Thanks Day 3: Makeup

2011-11-03T23:35:00.001-06:00

Yes, that title does say makeup. Odd as it sounds, I am very thankful for makeup. I'm thankful that I can use makeup to cover up blemishes when I break out. I'm thankful that I can use makeup to even out my skin tone when my skin is being weird (which happens frequently, unfortunately). I'm thankful that I know how to apply makeup to bring out my best facial features, and I'm also thankful that I think applying makeup is fun. I really, really like makeup. As is evidenced by the $94 package I got in the mail today. (I needed that boxed set of 11 mascaras. I really and truly did. And that new eye makeup palette. And the blush brush. These are legitimate needs, people!)

I have to say, though, that I am not thankful for how much makeup costs. My bank account will forever rue the day I discovered Sephora and Bare Escentuals. I have experienced the joy of high-quality makeup and what it does for my skin, and I don't know that I can ever go back. I know, my life is so hard.

I should do my makeup like this from now on. That would be sweet.

Giving Thanks Day 2: The Temple

2011-11-02T23:18:00.000-06:00

For the past couple of months, I've been feeling like I need to go to the temple. As time passed and I continued to not go, that feeling just got stronger and stronger. I knew I needed to go, but I always managed to find some excuse to stay home or do something else. Then last month my home teachers asked me to set a goal for the next month, and without hesitation, I said, "Temple attendance." I knew it was what I needed. Yet weeks still went by without accomplishing that goal.

But tonight I finally changed that. Brittany, Alison, and I went to the Provo Temple to do some baptisms. It was crazy busy. We were there for two hours to be confirmed twice and baptized once. There were some super giggly girls that couldn't seem to stop talking. We could hear the 12-year-olds in the dressing room. But despite all of that, it was still the temple. It was still the House of the Lord. I could still feel the Spirit more strongly than I can feel it anywhere else.

I went in with specific issues to pray for. I've been frustrated about some things lately and I needed some extra guidance. I didn't get a lightning-bolt answer tonight, but despite that, I feel calmer now. I know that the Lord is watching over me and that if I just listen, he will prompt me when I need to do something. I simply feel more content that things will work out and that I will be able to make the right decisions when I am in certain situations.

I am so incredibly grateful for the temple and for how accessible it is, especially here in Provo. It is a five-minute drive at most, and while it may take me two hours to go through the baptistry, it's a small price to pay for the peace and comfort I feel when I leave. I am so thankful that the Lord loves us enough to give us temples and to give us the opportunity to visit His House. I am determined to go much more often than I have been lately. I love how serene I feel, and serenity is definitely something I could use more of.

Giving Thanks Day 1: Friends

2011-11-01T23:58:00.000-06:00

Hello, friends! It's that time of year again. November is here, which means another 30 days of thankful posts. I've loved doing this the past couple of years, so I want to continue it. Besides, I don't think it's possible to be too thankful for the good things in my life.

Today was Cora's birthday. To celebrate, we threw Cora a surprise party. It was kind of awesome. There were quite a few people hanging out in my apartment, and as usual, I thoroughly enjoyed the company. So my first thankful post is a little general, but I am really grateful for the amazing people I've met in this ward. I have made some wonderful friends and have been incredibly busy doing fun things, which has been fantastic. I'm so grateful to have such amazing people in my life right now. It's been just what I've needed.

These are just a few of the awesome people in my life. I love these girls so much. If I had more pictures of the guys, I would post those too, but maybe I'll take some pictures later and they'll make their way into another post this month.

Hottie Pottie Part Deux

2011-10-26T18:38:00.003-06:00

Another hottie pottie. Because I can. And because I really like looking at attractive men.

Nobody kills zombies better than Andrew Lincoln.

Colin Firth is totally my favorite British man.

No, this is not Johnny Depp. This is John Paul White of the Civil Wars. This man is so attractive when he sings. Oh my gosh.

Jon Hamm. He may be an adulterer in Mad Men, but he's a dang attractive adulterer.

I am basically in love with Kyle Chandler because he's amazing.

Ryan Gosling. Hey look, he's a blonde! A very, very attractive blonde.

Tom Hardy. There's just something about him.

Absolute Brilliance

2011-10-24T09:59:00.001-06:00

I have recently become completely addicted to the Civil Wars (thanks, Spotify!). I think they are absolutely amazing. They sing with incredible emotion, which always gets me. I'm pretty much in love with their music right now.

UPDATE: I finally just bought the album Barton Hollow. And I've listened to it a good five times in less than 24 hours. I can't get enough of it. I just can't.

Pies in the Sky

2011-10-21T16:35:00.000-06:00

Three years ago, I was super interested in this guy, and he seemed to at least marginally return the sentiment. Things were going well. We went on a date. We hung out all the time. We flirted. We texted. We made grilled cheese sandwiches. (That's a funny story. Maybe I'll relate it at some point, but not in this post.) And then he decided he didn't want anything more than to be friends. He took me on the walk to have the discussion. It sucked hardcore.

Needless to say, I was bummed, as one would expect. Then the next day, my brother called me. My brother served his mission with Travis Bright, who was a starting offensive lineman for BYU. Travis had a friend on the football team who wanted to be set up, and I was the only single girl Travis could think of. So my brother called me and told me that I was going to be set up with a football player. It's amazing how quickly my mood changed.

I should tell you right now that I never actually went out with the football player. He apparently had some girl issues and didn't want anything to do with girls for a while (lame, I know). But the prospect of going out with a football player was so exciting, and everyone told me repeatedly how awesome I would be as a football girlfriend. I would be able to talk football if he wanted to and I would go to every game to cheer him on.

Ever since then, I have had a desire to date a football player. (Don't worry, I'm not being exclusive. I'd date baseball players, basketball players, rugby players....) There's something about football players that I find incredibly attractive. There's only one little problem.

I turned 24 this year.

That means I'm older than pretty much everyone on the team. The only people that are my age are the seniors that redshirted a year and went on a mission. And pretty much all of those guys are married. So this post is basically me lamenting the loss of a dream. (I don't care that even when I was younger than the football players I never met any of them. Just because it was never going to happen in the first place doesn't mean I can't lament it when the dream truly goes down the tubes.)

It's a shame. I really would have been the best football girlfriend ever.

The Joys of Living in a Provo Singles Ward

2011-10-11T22:50:00.000-06:00

This semester has been rather awesome so far. Let me expound upon why.

First of all, I have seriously amazing roommates. The four of us get along great. We started the bonding process by going to Awful Waffle the first week Brittany and Alison moved in. Roommate dinner was a fabulous idea, let me tell you. The bonding further solidified when we threw a massive party for the BYU football season opener. It included this awesome banner:

Yes, that is our balcony, inviting all of Carriage Cove to our party. We had a pretty awesome turnout, too—a good 20 or 25 people showed up, some of which weren't even in our ward. I would say it was a success.

Since that party, we have held Dessert Club, game nights, and dinners. Because the 309ers are just that awesome. A Sunday dinner of the best lasagna ever (my lasagna, naturally) is in the works, as is a trip to the Haunted Forest in American Fork and a waffle party. We go to every ward function (which is a definite improvement for me) and we get invited to all sorts of fun things like movies and bowling parties. I know more guys in the ward than girls, which is the way it should be, right?

So why am I sitting here detailing how social I've been for the past month? Because, as lame as this is going to make me seem, this isn't normal for me. Especially not in this apartment complex. But we had a huge turnover this past fall, and it made all the difference in the world. The ward is incredible. People go to activities and get to know each other. It's awesome.

The whole point of this super socialness is to meet guys. That should be no surprise. And it has worked. I've even managed to develop a few crushes, some more intense than others.

Guy 1 is the main crush. He's super cute and incredibly nice. I met him at some ward events the beginning of the semester, but I didn't really take notice until the football party. He knew my name when I couldn't remember his, which is not usual for me. He sings (super bonus points!) and is just an all-around awesome guy. He goes to all the ward activities and generally comes to the things we invite him to. I spent an awesome amount of time talking to him at Break the Fast on Sunday. I'm pretty sure it was the first time we actually sat down and had a legitimate one-on-one conversation, and I quite enjoyed myself. In the course of this conversation, I discovered that HE SPEAKS GERMAN! Despite the fact that he completely flustered me and I could barely carry on even the remotest conversation with him in German, it meant that we have something in common, and he said he wants to get together and practice sometime. Which is awesome because a) I really do want to get my German skills back and b) I just want to spend more time with him.

Guy 2 is awesome and very attractive, but he's a terrible friend. He never comes to things I invite him to, and when he says he will let me know about things that are going on, he promptly forgets to tell me about them. He didn't come to my football party. He didn't let me know when he bought tickets to the Jimmer's All Stars game. Like I said, terrible friend. But he's hilarious, and we have a great time whenever we do hang out. I make fun of him constantly, and he knows how to take it. I don't have a full-blown crush on him, but it could develop quickly if given the chance.

Guy 3 isn't really a crush at all; he's become that guy friend that I could probably talk to about the guys I'm actually interested in. He's surprising and unexpected. Every time I think I have him figured out, he throws something else at me. He's a lot deeper than he seems at first glance. And while he is a dang cute guy who could probably have his pick of just about any girl in the ward, he seems a little lonely. There's just so much to him, and I'm completely intrigued. I spent most of the day with him on Saturday because I gave him my dad's ticket to the BYU vs. SJSU game. It was an odd combination to be at the game with this guy from my ward and my two brothers, but it was pretty fun. I learned all sorts of things about this guy that I never thought I'd learn, and I'm really glad that we've become such good friends lately. It's really nice to have guys around that I'm completely comfortable with. I would say that a crush could potentially emerge here, but I really do like just being friends.

And this is really just the beginning. There are quite a few other guys in the ward that I would gladly go on dates with because they're all really cool and really nice. There are some amazing people in this ward, and I'm so glad that my efforts to leave were all in vain. I don't know why exactly I was supposed to stay in Carriage Cove for another year, but I'm going to hazard a guess that it has something to do with the people here.

There's only one catch with this plethora of guys: They're not asking me out. And they're not asking my roommates out. I don't understand that. Do they think we're constantly hanging out with them and inviting them over just to be nice? If so, they are sorely mistaken. Here's hoping they get with the program really soon.

One Date ≠ Eternal Commitment

2011-10-07T19:57:00.000-06:00

Has anyone else noticed that it seems like everybody puts way too much pressure on a first date? Just do a Google image search for "first date." All you see are pictures of couples looking dreamily into each other's eyes, kissing, or holding hands. Come on, people. I Googled "first date," not "established couples."

I have never understood why people put so much importance on the first date. Isn't that when you're supposed to get to know your date? And even if you already know the person you're going on a date with through hanging out and whatnot, getting to know someone one-on-one is a little bit different. A first date should be low key. It shouldn't be a huge production.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying there's no reason to get excited about a first date. If I'm super into a guy and he asks me out, you bet I'm going to be excited. But I'm not going to expect it to turn into something right away. Am I going to hope for something to happen? Of course. At least before the date. If the date turns out to be awful and awkward, then of course the excitement will die. But really, if I'm already into him, I doubt it would be awful and awkward. But that's beside the point.

I have known so many girls who build up the first date to the point that they make themselves sick with nerves. I have also known many girls who have stressed that because a friend asked them on a date, it automatically means that he is completely into them and that at some point they're going to have to tell him that they just want to be friends. I've always thought that was ridiculous. Just take it for what it is—a first date. Flattering, yes. A proposal, no.

This is such a pervasive notion in Provo. Seriously. At FHE a couple of weeks ago, we got into this discussion about how it's hard for guys to ask girls out and what kind of date is good for the first date and blah blah blah. Very common talk in Provo. My roommates and I tried to tell the guys that first dates should be simple and inexpensive. No really expensive dinners. No marathon dates. Not even any movies (there's no chance to talk).

One of the guys in our group just wouldn't listen to us. He started going off about how he thinks a perfect date is driving a girl up to Park City, eating a really nice dinner, and going up the ski lift to watch the sunset, or some such ridiculous thing like that. I turned to him and said very bluntly, "That is a terrible first date idea. Terrible." He looked baffled. I had to explain that a first date like that would just be super awkward. That's a proposal date. Who thinks that something as romantic as that is a good idea when you barely even know the person you're going on a date with?

First dates need to consist of ice cream or a casual dinner or mini golf or bowling. Something that gives you a good opportunity to talk, to get to know one another, to figure out if a second date is a possibility. That's what a first date is for—to figure out if you want a second date. Not to figure out if you want to spend the rest of eternity with that person. That's just too much pressure.

And holy cow, this turned into a much longer post than I thought it would. And much more of a rant than I intended. It's probably boring, but whatevs.

Harry Potter Nerd Alert

2011-09-29T12:27:00.001-06:00

A few months ago, J.K. Rowling announced Pottermore, a new interactive reading experience for Harry Potter fans. Then at the beginning of last month, they had seven days of early registration. If you caught the clue before all the spots for that day had filled up, you could get in early and be one of the beta testers for the site.

Anyone who knows me even remotely well knows that I am a Harry Potter fanatic, so you better believe I tried desperately to get into Pottermore early. I would check the site every day as soon as I woke up, and invariably, registration would be closed. Then, on the sixth day, I pulled up the site, and voila! There was a clue! So I answered the question quick and registered before the spots could be taken.

I was so excited. Until I realized that they wouldn't actually let me onto the site until September. I was a little bummed, but I resigned myself to the wait.

Well, this week, the wait was over. I got into Pottermore. And while I don't really know exactly what I'm supposed to do, it seems pretty awesome so far. I haven't gotten this far yet, but I do know that I will get sorted into a House and get my own wand, which is awesome. There is also a bunch of new stuff from J.K. Rowling, like backstory and little insights into why she wrote the books a certain way. This is really why I wanted to get onto the site.

General registration opens next month sometime, and I'm super excited for some of my friends to get online so I can interact with them. Because I know for a fact that at least some of my friends will join me in the HP nerddom that is Pottermore.

So here's to having yet one more thing on the internet to waste my time on. Huzzah!

Discouragement

2011-09-06T21:23:00.001-06:00

Why is it that right after I feel really good and really optimistic about something, I crash and burn? Take the past week, for instance. I have been super social. More social than is usual for me. My roommates and I threw an incredibly successful party for the BYU football season opener. It was quite an impressive event. We had food on every surface, pretty much, and upwards of 25 people showed up to watch the game and eat. It was a blast. I had fun with people I already knew, and I got to know some people I didn't already know. I flirted with boys. I identified new boys I wanted to flirt with. I got to talk about football—a lot. So yeah, it was successful.

I also talked to a lot of people at church on Sunday. I actually felt comfortable saying hi to people and chatting. Again, that's not usually the norm for me. I went to ward prayer. I invited people over to my place. We watched Brian Regan and had a good time. I flirted some more. I was outgoing.

So why do I suddenly feel like I'm failing at having a social life? Why is it that two days after having a good time with a lot of fun people and making some new friends, I feel like I don't know anyone but my roommates? Why do I feel like I must have been stupid for thinking that anyone would want to flirt with me (even though I'm pretty dang sure at least one guy was flirting this weekend)?

This is a wee little insight into my very complex and ridiculous brain. Things are going well for me this semester (disregarding the fact that I don't really live by semesters anymore). I like the new mix in my ward. I like the new people, girls and guys alike. I've been social and made an effort to make myself known. I may have even found myself a new crush. Despite all that, I feel like I'm failing in some way. Because I'm not hanging out with cute boys (or any boys) right this moment, I'm not being social enough.

Maybe that one year at Bountiful Court when there were always at least four guys in my apartment at all times spoiled me. I apparently have this idea in my brain that I need to have some fixtures in my apartment. I need guys who just come over because they like my roommates and me and want to spend time with us. Even if there's no romantic interest, they like hanging out, and I don't feel like I have to entertain them. If I don't have this kind of relationship with any of the guys in my ward, apparently my brain convinces me that I'm a failure.

I think my brain might hate me.

Flirting Is Fun!

2011-08-30T18:28:00.000-06:00

If there is one thing that is omnipresent in a Provo singles ward, it is flirting. Flirting is the elite way of communicating and interacting with members of the opposite sex. There are all sorts of flirting: the physical, the witty banter, the flattery, the straightforward admiration, the teasing, the texting. Those who are good at any combination of these tactics often have lots of friends, lots of phone numbers, and lots of dates. It's just the way things roll here in Provo.

My problem with flirting is that I'm not terribly good at it. For the most part, physical flirting is nonexistent for me. I have a weird aversion to breaking that contact barrier. I just get super awkward. This could be a post on its own, so I'll just leave it at that. I can hold my own with the witty banter, but I'm not the quickest thinker, and I have a tendency to trip over my words. I generally don't even try flattery, and straightforward admiration is nerve wracking. Some people pull it off really well, but I am not one of those people. And if you're not good at it, you just become creepy, and no one wants that. Teasing is another one I'm fairly good at. If it involves sarcasm, chances are I'll choose that form of flirting above all others.

Despite my lack of skills in the flirting department, I still try to flirt. I try to flirt all the time. Why do I do this when I rarely succeed? Well, that's simple.

Because it's fun.

Even if nothing comes from flirting, or even if I'm not interested in the person I'm flirting with, it is still fun. Who doesn't like to be flirted with every once in a while? Who doesn't like to be paid a little bit of attention? I know that I love to be flirted with, and to make that happen, you gotta put a little effort in.

I've actually had the chance to flirt with quite a few attractive boys lately. And I've thoroughly enjoyed myself. In attempting not to worry about whether or not these guys are potential romantic prospects, I've been able to have fun, which is really where things start anyway. The more I worry about what could happen, the worse I get at flirting.

So even though flirting can be confusing at times and sometimes sucks when I'm actually legitimately interested in someone and they don't flirt back, I'm still going to do it. I'm still going to flirt with most of the boys I come in contact with. This isn't to say I'm a huge flirt (did you not just read all the reasons why I'm bad at flirting?); it's just the way single men and women communicate. And I, for one, am okay with that.

A Promise

2011-08-24T19:58:00.001-06:00

I need to blog more. I know that. It's been over a month, and I know of at least one person who is missing my posts. (I'm really hoping it's more than one, but I'll take what I can get.)

Here's the dealio: every time I have time to write a blog post, I am suddenly not in the mood to finish any of the 15 or so drafts I currently have saved. I have plenty of material and absolutely no desire. Maybe this is because I have been very tired lately. Or maybe it's because I've spent way too much of my free time reading about the upcoming football season. Or maybe it's the new TV shows I've gotten myself addicted to (namely Mad Men and Friday Night Lights). These are the things that have also kept me from doing important things like reading my book and writing in my journal.

Whatever the reason, I haven't blogged, and this is me making a promise: In the next week, I will publish a real, legitimate blog post. I don't know which draft I will finish yet, but I will choose one and I will post it. If I don't, anyone who really does pay attention to me and my random blog can feel free to berate me for being a liar.

So, are you dating anyone?

2011-07-20T20:29:00.000-06:00

If this question isn't coming from a 20-something male who is going to follow up my "no" with a "do you want to go out sometime," I'm not interested in hearing it. Especially if you're a middle-aged woman in my parents' ward who is so far removed from the dating game that she thinks finding a guy is as easy as picking an apple off a tree.

I hate to break it to you, Sister So-and-So: dating SUCKS. It's hard, and even if I were going on more dates (which for me would be one every couple of months), I would still be frustrated and fed up with everything. Just because you were married at 20 doesn't mean I'm an old maid at 24. And it doesn't mean that you have to give me a pitying look every time I answer your annoying question with, "No, not currently."

This is also true for all of my girlfriends whose first question after we haven't seen each other for a while is, "So, are there any boys?" I know girls like to dish about the guys in their lives. I like to do it, too—when I have a guy in my life. But seeing as how I don't often have a guy in my life, I don't want the first thing I say to my girlfriends make me look super lame. Besides—if I have a guy in my life, you won't have to ask me if I have a guy in my life. All you'll have to ask is, "How are you?" and chances are that he'll come up. If you have to ask, there's nothing to tell. I think this is probably true for most girls.

The only thing that makes "So, are you dating anyone?" more annoying is the follow-up of "Why not?" Right, because I have so much control over what men my age do. It's entirely up to me whether someone in my ward notices me and asks me out. It's completely my fault that I haven't found someone I'm compatible with. I alone am to blame for my loneliness. Thanks for that.

To sum up: No, I am not dating anyone, and I don't know why. I am 24. I am single. And I am dealing with it perfectly fine. I don't need to be reminded of my singleness. Believe me, I am acutely aware of it.

Being Single in Provo

2011-07-13T20:59:00.001-06:00

So I was trying to think about what I could do to make my blog more interesting, or at the very least to give me something to write about on a fairly regular basis. I wanted something that is prevalent in my life right now, since that would give me the most material to draw from. So what can a single, 20-something Mormon girl write about? Well, that's easy.

Dating.

Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not going to start writing about what guys need to do to date better or be more willing to go on dates or what I want to see in a significant other. This isn't going to be some advice column. That's boring. But I feel like since I am single and Mormon and living in Provo, the mecca of Mormon singles, I might as well write about life here. I can't guarantee that I won't rant and rave about why guys suck. (Because they do. No offense, guys.) But I'm hoping to have some funny stories and reveal a bit about myself and why I suck at the dating game. (I just do. Don't worry; you'll see.)

I will definitely continue blogging about sports and all those other random things I blog about. I might start book/movie/music reviews. I want to start up my short fiction again. And who knows what else could show up? This is my blog, and as such, it should be about my life and my interests.

I have a glut of ideas for dating posts, so hopefully those will start showing up soon. And hopefully you won't judge me too harshly for writing what I think. Because I have no idea where this random idea is going to end up.

Happy Independence Day!

2011-07-01T17:01:00.004-06:00

No, not that one, silly. It's only July 1. I'm talking about BYU's independence day.

Source: byucougars.com

As of noon today, BYU is officially a football independent and a member of the West Coast Conference in most other sports. Since this is a BYU athletics subject, you have to know that I have an opinion about it, and that I am going to now write about it, whether you care or not. So there.

I think independence was a fantastic move for BYU. BYU fans are everywhere. Students are encouraged to move beyond Provo after graduation, and since BYU focuses more on undergraduates than on postgraduates, it is often better for students to go elsewhere to do their graduate work. BYU alumni are all over the world, really, and independence gives the school an opportunity to spread their brand far and wide to reach all those fans.

The partnership with ESPN gives BYU the kind of exposure it craved but couldn't have while under the absolutely atrocious MWC TV deal. Now every game will be televised on an ESPN network or on BYUtv, which in and of itself is pretty amazing. No other school in the nation has its own TV network that is already in 60 million homes across the country and is broadcasting in full HD. If you really think about that, it is phenomenal. BYU has been setting BYUtv up for independence for years. Without this network, there is no way independence would be feasible.

For 2011, seven games have already been announced as being on ESPN or ESPN2, including the first five games of the season. Five more games are yet to be scheduled. From everything I've read and heard, as many as eleven games this season could be broadcast on ESPN, which is more ESPN appearances than BYU has had in the last five seasons combined, including bowl games. I don't care what anybody says; this is bloody brilliant.

The main concern with independence is the scheduling. That is an issue, but Tom Holmoe is already handling it really well. The Cougars have some pretty cool opponents this year, including Ole Miss, Texas, Central Florida, Utah, TCU, and Oregon State. Of course, then you have to throw in the pancakes like San Jose State, Idaho State, and New Mexico State, which make up for a rather boring home schedule. But really, is that any different than a schedule with SDSU, Wyoming, New Mexico, and UNLV? Every team, regardless of conference, has some cupcakes. BCS teams intentionally schedule their out-of-conference games as cupcakes so they don't risk sliding against non-conference foes. Plus, it's only the first year. In a couple of years, I'm willing to bet that BYU is going to be playing against some pretty awesome teams.

Then there's the move to the WCC. Most say it's a step down in competition, especially in men's hoops, and I can't completely argue with that. But the addition of BYU raises the bar for the rest of the teams. Gonzaga will have a worthy foe after dominating the conference for the past several years. If the NCAA tourney game between BYU and the Zags was any indication, it's going to be a fun rivalry. I know that I'm looking forward to watching schools like Pepperdine and St. Mary's come into the Marriott Center and be bombarded by 22,700 screaming fans when they're used to venues that hold at most 8,000 people. I'm also looking forward to watching the other schools figure out that when BYU plays on the road, fans come out of the woodwork. I would guess that many of the basketball away games will almost be home games for BYU. I think the WCC is in for a bit of a culture shock, which will be fun to watch.

And for those fans who say that BYU only went independent because they had to show up Utah's move to the PAC-12, I say stop whining. I have been hearing and talking about BYU going independent for years. Sure, I may have been regurgitating what my dad told me, but that's not the point. The point is that independent talk has circulated around BYU for a long time, much longer than the couple of months between Utah's PAC-12 announcement and BYU's independence announcement.

Besides, when you really think about it, which schools do you think were driving the MWC to become better? Who gave the MWC credibility? Do you think it was SDSU and UNM? Yeah, I didn't think so. It was always Utah and BYU. They worked together; they were each other's staunchest supporters. They had the same goals in mind. So when Utah understandably took the much better option of going to the PAC-12, what reason was there for BYU to stay? Their conference partner had been offered a better opportunity that passed BYU by. Instead of moping and seeing if some other conference would come calling, the BYU officials took stock of their tools and resources and decided that going it alone was the best option. I wish Utah luck in their foray into the BCS world. I hope they succeed. But I don't think they did any better than BYU. Both schools made the best decisions for their respective programs, and you can't fault either one of them for it. I just hope both schools can excel with what they have and put the state of Utah on the map for college athletics.

Basically, I'm super stoked about all of these moves. BYU probably won't go undefeated and bust into a BCS bowl their first season. But they have more than a fair shot at another 10+ win season, and I can't wait to watch it unfold. September 3 can't get here soon enough. Go Cougars!

I Want to Get Lost

2011-06-28T17:49:00.000-06:00

In a new city, a new place, with new people and new things and...and...and new everything. I want to live somewhere I haven't spent the last six years of my life. I want to live somewhere outside of Utah County, where pretty much every town is just like the last, and I know where to go for anything from Lehi to Spanish Fork. I want to get out of student housing and meet different people who are closer to me not only in age, but also in stage of life. I don't want to feel like I'm floating on the surface of a life that I no longer live, watching students go to class and do homework while I watch Netflix because I have nothing else to do with my evenings.

People try to convince me that Provo is the place to be for single Mormon twenty-somethings, but my experience has taught me otherwise. In six years, I have been on a handful of dates. I have come close to getting into relationships, but never made the full leap. Boys in Provo just don't seem to be interested in me, and I am fast losing interest in them. I'm ready to try my hand at the Mormon boys in other places.

I've had these ants in my pants before. I've felt the need to run away and do something different with my life. But the feeling never lasts. Some other Provo opportunity would present itself and I would grab it and feel satisfied. That's not happening this time. Ever since I first felt the itch, it has only gotten stronger. I don't know how much longer I can go without scratching.

It's hard to decide what to do, because moving someplace else requires a complete upheaval of my life. New job, new place, new friends. And right now, all that change is incredibly enticing, while also being absolutely terrifying. I don't usually deal well with change, but I am craving it more than I have ever craved it before.

I want the experience of getting my own place in a city I've never lived in before. I want to buy my own furniture, decorate my own apartment, dirty my own dishes, and clean up my own messes. I don't want a cleaning check nazi forcing me to scour places that never see the light of day. I want to feel like a legitimate grown-up, one who pays her own bills and comes home to an empty apartment because that apartment is hers and hers alone.

I would love to be able to come home after a rough day at work and know that my TV is ready and waiting for me without wondering if my roommates are watching something or cuddling with their boyfriends. I want my own bathroom where the shower curtain always stays closed and I don't have to clean hair out of the drain that isn't mine. I don't want to have to try to read a book while wondering when the guys across the courtyard are going to stop blasting their annoying music.

Don't get me wrong; I don't hate Provo. I don't hate my roommates. I don't regret that I've stayed in Provo for as long as I have. It's just time for me to leave. I need to be done with the student housing scene, and starting now, I am going to start taking the steps I need to take to make that happen.

This is how I feel today:

2011-06-16T21:57:00.000-06:00

BLAAAARRRRGGGHHHH.

Can I just go away? For like a month? Would everyone be all right with that? Because that's really what I want to do right now.

Maybe I'll just find a hole somewhere and disappear. Sounds pretty good to me.

Hottie Pottie

2011-06-08T18:24:00.000-06:00

Cora did this first in homage to a girls' bathroom she cleaned during the school year. So I'm stealing the idea and doing my own hottie pottie. These are the few I could think of right now. I'm sure another post will be forthcoming once I think of all the people I forgot about this time around.

I still get sad when I think about Heath Ledger. He was such an amazing actor.

tWitch! Love him.

Jake Gyllenhaal

Johnny Depp is a given

Joseph Gordon-Leavitt

Matthew Fox

Robert Downey, Jr.

Every single one of these men is a brunette. That is apparently just the way I roll.

Today was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

2011-06-07T19:55:00.002-06:00

Why?

That's the worst part. Nothing legitimate. Besides the fact that absolutely nobody showed up to the activities committee meeting we were supposed to have. I must have confused the dates. I just must have.

As of today, my life can be summed up in one word:

FRUSTRATION.

With pretty much everything. Provo. Boys. My calling. Some things at work.

I think I need to get out, go away, disappear for a little while. Maybe spend a weekend in Magna, or take a couple of days off work to clear my head.

Whatever I end up doing, it's starting with ice cream for dinner.

Controllable Change

2011-06-01T21:28:00.001-06:00

I've been craving change lately, and since most of the things I want to change are out of my control, I focused my energies on something I can control: my hair. So, I went from this:

To this:

Quite a big change, it's true, but so far, it's been a good one.

Super Awesome Story of Today

2011-05-26T17:52:00.000-06:00

I must start by saying that I have the awesomest cousin/roommate/best friend in the whole wide world. Here's why.

Cora and I were listening to the radio the other day and heard them advertise free tickets for the upcoming Adele concert in Salt Lake (that we didn't even know about until that point). Seeing as how Cora loves Adele, she decided to get online and enter for tickets. In the process of submitting 49 million entries for Adele, Cora also submitted a couple of entries for Bruno Mars, because he is also rather cool.

Guess which tickets she won?

And guess who she's giving her second ticket to? Yeah, I told you she was the awesomest.

Oh, and guess what else is included with the tickets? A meet and greet. So in addition to watching Bruno Mars perform (for free), we get to meet him. Awesome much? I think so.

Monday is going to be a very, very good day.

Jimmer and the NBA Draft

2011-05-24T21:45:00.001-06:00

Here's the deal. Last August, when everyone was on tenterhooks waiting to see if BYU was actually going to go independent in football, I started scouring the interwebs for any news I could find on the subject. It was the first time I had actively gone and looked up sports articles (shocking, I know, what with my love of sports and all). Then there was all the hype about BYU basketball before the season and how good they could be. Then the Jazz had their stint of however many straight double-digit comeback wins (you know, before Sloan resigned, Deron was traded, and they sucked it up). Then Jimmermania exploded and I spent ridiculous amounts of time reading articles about it.

Suffice it to say, I am hooked on sports articles. A vast majority of the people I follow on Twitter are sports analysts (both professional and amateur), and I frequently scroll down my feed and click open half a dozen articles that people have posted. Twitter is pretty much my main source for sports news. I find myself reading all sorts of articles that I never would have cared about before. I've even read articles about soccer. Crazy, I know.

So what does this mean for me? Well, it means that I know more about sports than I probably need to know. I can't rattle off crazy stats or anything, but I can make informed opinions about sports. Especially pertaining to the teams that I really care about (which basically boils down to the Jazz, BYU basketball, and BYU football).

If you don't care about sports and don't care about Jimmer and don't care about what I think of where Jimmer should land in the NBA and why, stop reading. This post will just bore you. But it's my blog, so I'll write about what I want, whether it bores you or not.

Everybody knows I'm obsessed with Jimmer Fredette. That's not exactly a secret. Which obviously means that I've been paying much, much more attention to NBA draft talk this year than I ever have before. Jimmer is a huge question mark in everyone's minds. Will his ridiculous college game translate to the pros? Will he develop some defense so he doesn't get eaten alive on the floor every night? Does he have the right size to actually play point guard, or will he have to be some kind of combo guard? Does he have the ability to truly run an offense as a PG, or will he simply be instant offense off the bench? Is he athletic enough to create shots against the athleticism of NBA players?

Then there's the question of the system that Jimmer should play in. Most people seem to agree that it doesn't really matter how high Jimmer gets drafted—it's more a matter of the team that drafts him. He needs to get in the right system to get a chance to succeed.

Which leads me to my reasons for why the Jazz need to draft Jimmer at number 12. (Come on, you knew this was coming, right?)

1. The kid can shoot. (I like that I say "kid" when he's only a year and a half younger than I am.) Have you seen the Jazz's outside shooting lately? It sucks. Like a lot. The best shooters they've got are probably CJ Miles and Raja Bell. (Blech, did I just write that? Yeah, yeah I did.) Criticize Jimmer's game all you want—you can't argue that he would bring some desperately needed help to the Jazz's shooting plight. Jimmer would be a threat as soon as he crossed half court, meaning that defenders wouldn't be able to ignore him. That opens up the floor for the rest of the players.

2. Jimmer dishes the ball. People argue this point all over the place, but Jimmer isn't a ball hog. I can't count how many times I watched him create plays for his teammates while he was at BYU. Let's look at the top three point guards in the draft: Kemba Walker averaged 4.5 assists per game. Kyrie Irivng averaged 5.1 APG. Brandon Knight averaged 4.2 APG. And Jimmer? He averaged 4.2 APG. Not too shabby, comparatively. Oh yeah, and he also scored 5–10 more points a game than those guys. I think Jimmer distributes just fine.

3. He's more athletic than he looks. Jimmer's a white guy. A white Mormon guy, no less. We all know it, and we all know that people look at him and automatically think he can't really play. But he can. Did you see what he did against double and triple teams all season long? He found a way to get the ball in the basket regardless of who was guarding him, and he played some long, athletic guys. And if he didn't get the ball in the hoop, he drew three guys with him then kicked it out to a teammate. I'm willing to bet that Jimmer won't see double teams as soon as he inbounds the ball in the NBA.

4. Jimmer can create for himself. Jimmer isn't just a shooter; he's a scorer. As Coach Rose always said, Jimmer's a relentless scorer. He knows what he has to do to get a shot off, and he does it over and over, regardless of the defense. He became a master at reading defenses and figuring out what he needed to do in individual situations, whether it be score points himself or draw off the defense and let his teammates get the points. More often than not, Jimmer wouldn't start putting points on the board until a good ten minutes into the first half, after he had figured out what the defense was going to give him. He's also got enough bulk that he can play through contact. And have you seen those off balance jump shots he takes? All he needs is to get his shoulders square, and he can let that ball fly. Remember this picture?

5. The Jazz need a face to the franchise. Stockton and Malone have been gone for years now, and with Deron Williams getting shipped off to the Nets and Sloan retiring, the Jazz have no face. They have no one person that identifies who the team is and how they play. People would argue with Jimmer being the face of a franchise, but what better person could there be for the Jazz? Jimmer's lived in Utah for four years. He likes it here, and he likes the Jazz. The Jazz are known as a classy, well-behaved team, and Jimmer is a classy, well-behaved guy. He's humble and likable. What else could you want as your franchise's front-man?

6. Jimmer's Jazz jerseys would fly off the shelves and his game would put butts in the seats. The Jazz were absolutely abysmal last season. I know everything was falling apart and there was a lot of turmoil and change, but that doesn't change the fact that they sucked, and people stopped coming to games. I know this shouldn't be the main reason the Jazz draft Jimmer—regardless of who's on the team, if they're winning, the seats will be filled. But having Jimmer merch for sale would give a little cushion until the team figures things out and starts winning games again. Jimmer has a ridiculous fan base in Utah, and if he's available and the Jazz think everything else fits, they might as well take advantage.

7. I really just want a chance to take a sign that says "The Lakers got Jimmered" to a game at the ESA. And I'd love to see if the "You Got Jimmered" chant survives into the pros. I feel like it has major potential to break out beyond college students. Everybody was chanting it by the end of last season—I don't see why it couldn't make it in the pros too.

Wow, this post is a lot longer than I expected. If you actually read it all, kudos. I may be rambling and people may think my opinions are crap, but I can't help but think that Jimmer would fit with the Jazz. The Jazz have a history of good guards, and I am so on board with Jimmer being part of that history. Sure, this might be because I'm obsessed and I just want him to stay on my team in my state, but regardless, I think these are some valid points. If Jimmer's there at number 12, I say there's no reason for the Jazz not to roll the dice on him. If given the chance, I think he could do some amazing things as a pro.

Mixed Feelings

2011-05-02T18:32:00.003-06:00

After writing a post about TV that is completely lacking in any and all substance, I felt like I needed to at least acknowledge that I do know what happened yesterday. In fact, I was watching Alias when my roommate walked in the living room and told Cora and me the news. We paused the show and took the news in for a minute, then we pressed play. I didn't turn on the news. And the truth is, I didn't want to. I don't want to know the details. It's good enough to know that bin Laden is gone.

In a lot of ways, my emotions are mixed right now, but not because I think bin Laden's death is a bad thing. I just don't like celebrating the death of a human being. I'm not putting anyone down; everyone else can celebrate however they want. This is a good thing. I just don't feel like celebrating.

I've watched plenty of TV shows and movies where the bad guy has finally been killed and thought, "It's about dang time!" But this is real life. This isn't a fictional character on a screen. This was a real man whose life is now over. Don't get me wrong—bin Laden was an evil, evil man who needed to be stopped, and if this is the way it had to happen, so be it. I just have a hard time being happy and shouting for joy when I hear about loss of life.

You are never going to hear me say that bin Laden's death is a sad thing. Never in a million years. He was a terrible person who did terrible things, and knowing that he will never be able to do any of those things again makes yesterday a victorious day for the United States, and for the world in general. Those who serve this country are incredibly brave, loyal souls who ensure that I can live the way I do, and I will ever be grateful for that.

That is why I would say that I am satisfied that bin Laden is gone, that that threat to peace is now eliminated. But I will not cheer in the streets. It is sad that bin Laden lived his life in a way that made this the necessary end to it. I am satisfied in knowing that he is now facing his just reward and will be fully aware of all the sins he committed as he faces eternal judgment. Satisfied is a good word for how I feel. Satisfied, but not particularly happy.

With that said, I really like this photo.

Give up the world, give up your life, cuz you cannot fight the television!

2011-05-02T17:53:00.002-06:00

I have to stop getting addicted to TV shows! Especially when they're old shows that are already completed so I can spend as much time as I want watching episode after episode. After episode.

The current culprit is Alias. I never watched it when it aired, and when I started working at KLAS, I started hearing about it. Two years later, Karly, Angie, and Jenifer have successfully convinced me to start watching it, which was made easier when Karly handed me all five seasons. (Yes, five. Yes, that is definitely a bad thing.)

I started watching mostly out of curiosity, and I wasn't super sucked in. I watched a couple of episodes here and there, and it was entertaining enough that I kept watching, but I wasn't dying to know what happened next. Until Will Tippin got more involved, and then I was hooked, because Will was pretty much my favorite character. Because he's a stud, and Bradley Cooper is hot. (Nerdy hot, no less. How they managed that is beyond me.)

And then I finished season one and moved on to season two, and I was a goner. Irina Derevko working with the CIA? Double Francie? Will knows all about Sydney? Sark everywhere? Sloane being more manipulative than ever? Vaughn and Sydney (finally)? And then, of course, there was the whole Hong Kong ending and that damn ring on Vaughn's finger. (Don't even get me started on Lauren. Ugh. And no, that paragraph isn't supposed to make sense. Unless you've seen Alias. Then you'll completely understand.) Season two basically did it for me, and now I'm stuck.

Here's yet one other reason I keep watching:

*drool*

To quote Karly, Michael Vartan could be my handler any day.

And is it weird that I kind of really like Sark? I know he's a terrible awful person (especially with that whole Lauren fling, yuck), but he's kind of endearing. As much as I like him, I'm waiting to see when he'll finally get shot in the face. I don't know how he's avoided it so far.

And then there's always the comedic relief. Weiss is freaking awesome. "This is why people at the CIA and NSC don't get married. You don't poop where you sleep." I love him.

Remember that time I wondered how long I could last without an obsession? Well, now I know. It's about a month.

Questions of Style

2011-04-18T21:20:00.000-06:00

I love shoes. I have a lot of them. Not an exorbitant amount, mind you, but a lot. I could probably go over a month without wearing the same pair of shoes twice. No, not probably. I could. Which is why it's not so much of a surprise when I forget about shoes that I own.

I was getting dressed before work this morning when I remembered something. I own a pair of saddle shoes. So on the fly, I put them on.

All day long I have vacillated between thinking I look awesome and thinking I look ridiculous. I still can't decide.

Defiantly ≠ Definitely

2011-04-18T14:44:00.003-06:00

According to Merriam-Webster.com:

de·fi·ant: full of or showing defiance : bold, impudent <defiant rebels> < a defiant refusal>

def·i·nite: 1: having distinct or certain limits <definite standards for pupils to meet> 2a : free of all ambiguity, uncertainty, or obscurity <demanded a definite answer> b : unquestionable, decided <the quarterback was a definite hero today>

Therefore, "OMG, I am so defiantly there!" has a much different meaning than "OMG, I am so definitely there!" Mmmkay?

*end rant*

Short (really short) Fiction

2011-04-13T18:56:00.001-06:00

Look at me, doing another writing exercise so soon. I wonder how long this will last.

Battery

A man walks down the street, phone in hand. He walks five steps, then checks his phone. He walks seven steps, then checks his phone. He walks fifteen steps, the phrase "do not check the phone" on repeat in his head, before he can't take it anymore and checks the small, shining screen. His hopes and dreams lie in that seemingly innocuous device. One beep, one bar of that catchy song, could determine his future.

He continues walking, his wrist flicking and head tilting like some kind of twitchy dance, a dance that everyone around him knows and understands and mocks anyway. Look at that, they say. That piece of plastic and metal is like an extra appendage. I bet he couldn't put it down if you paid him. These people ignore the irony of their own bits of plastic and metal residing in purses and jeans pockets, accessible in a second if necessary.

The man continues his walk, heart pounding and hands sweating. He checks the phone once again, then transfers it to the other hnad. He walks. Tells himself he won't check the phone again. But he does.

The phone buzzes in his hand. That catchy tune starts up and the man's heart pounds nearly out of his chest. He fumbles the phone, finally managing to hit the correct button. He puts the phone to his ear, calls out a hello, when the battery dies.

An Attempt at Being Creative

2011-04-12T19:25:00.001-06:00

I used to be a creative writer. I used to have notebooks full of my stories. I would take those notebooks and a contingent of pens with me wherever I went. I wanted to write a novel. Then I got into high school, and I got busy. Busier than I had ever been. I got into choir and drama and suddenly writing wasn't as important anymore. Then I went to college and the only time I wrote anything creatively was when it was required for a class.

But I want to change that. I want to write again. I've wanted to for a long time, but I just haven't gotten around to it. In all honesty, I'm not sure how much time I'll actually devote to it this time around, but I want to give it a shot. So I'm going to start doing some writing exercises, and I welcome any and all criticism.

I got this prompt from oneword.com, which gives one word (hence the name) and gives 60 seconds to just write whatever comes to mind. So here goes.

Bookshelf

It was bowing. I could see it—pulled down by the weight of the words, the pages, the binding. Books on top of books shoved behind books, a maze of ideas and concepts. New people and familiar places. Worlds I entered as a guest and exited as a true friend. This was my life, chronicled and complied and organized by author name. Some sections are frayed, the stitches pulling apart from the strain of opening and closing time after time. Other sections are pristine, lacking dents and folds and scrapes. Lacking character. Lacking love. Yet they sit there still—taking up precious shelf space simply by virtue of their being books. Books. That's what it's all about. My kaleidescope of interests staring me in the face day in and day out. I hold entire universes on those shelves. Universes that make up my own universe. My own world. My own home.

Music Break 2011

2011-04-12T17:48:00.001-06:00

I wrote this post about a year and a half ago that I stumbled upon recently, and I figure that enough time has elapsed for me to do another one. I think it's kind of fun to see what music I'm really enjoying at the moment. So, in no particular order, here are twenty of my current most favorite songs.

"Gravity" by Sara Bareilles, Little Voice (This song is AMAZING. I have to train my voice so I can hit the ridiculously awesome note at the end of the bridge. It gives me chills.)
"Black Sheep" by Metric, Scott Pilgrim vs. the World (I wrote about this song here, and there's a video. Go listen.)
"Neverland - Piano Variation in Blue" by Jan A.P. Kaczmarek, Finding Neverland (This soundtrack is beautiful. Gorgeous. Lovely. Incredible. My heart simply responds to it, and I don't have an adequate adjective in my vocabulary to describe it.)
"Use Somebody" by Kings of Leon, Only by the Night
"Rocketeer" by Far East Movement ft. Ryan Tedder, Free Wired (Ryan Tedder's voice is simply awesome. I love him.)
"Say (All I Need)" by OneRepublic, Dreaming Out Loud (Again, Ryan Tedder. Love love love.)
"Come Home" by OneRepublic and Sara Bareilles (Ryan Tedder + Sara Bareilles = Magic. I can play this one on the piano, and I seriously need to find a man who can sing it with me, because the duet is brilliant.)
"Coalwood" by Mark Isham, October Sky (This is another song that simply speaks to me. I've loved it since I first watched the movie when I was probably 11 or 12.)
"Falling Slowly" by the Swell Season, Once (This whole soundtrack is fantastic, as is the movie.)
"Forget You" by Cee Lo Green, The Lady Killer (This is a good sing-at-the-top-of-your-lungs song.)
"Grenade" by Bruno Mars, Doowops & Hooligans (It's a little morbid, but I love it so.)
"Airplanes" by B.o.B, B.o.B Presents: The Adventures of Bobby Ray (I'm not the biggest rap fan, but I seriously love this album. It's great stuff.)
"Mad" by Ne-Yo, The Year of the Gentleman
"Animal" by Neon Trees, Habits (You gotta love the bands with ties to Provo.)
"You Already Know" by Train, Save Me San Fransisco (The whole album is phenomenal, but this was the song that really jumped out at me.)
"This Too Shall Pass" by Ok Go, Of the Blue Colour of the Sky (Awesome song by an awesome band that's even awesomer live.)
"Poker Face" by Lea Michele and Idina Menzel, Glee (This duet is fantastic. I love singing to it.)
"Already Gone" by Kelly Clarkson, All I Ever Wanted (This song was written by Ryan Tedder. Need I say more?)
"Tribute" by Tenacious D, Tenacious D (While I would never recommend this entire album [way too many f-words], this song is simply hilarious, and I love it.)
"Everyday" by Buddy Holly (What would this list be without a classic of some kind?)

Now I must ask everyone to glance over this list and realize that there is not one mention of either Sherwood or the Beatles. Amazing, no? That doesn't lessen my love for either of those bands, but I thought it was something worth noting.

Opportunities like this make life amazing.

2011-03-30T22:16:00.003-06:00

I love it when I get the chance to do something amazing. Saturday was one of those chances. Thanks to Trina and Jenifer, I got a ticket to see Markus Zusak speak at the Provo Library. In case you don't know who Markus Zusak is, he wrote this little book:

And if you still don't know who Markus Zusak is, read this book ASAP and find out.

Listening to Markus speak was amazing. I absolutely loved it. He was funny and personable and a great speaker, and his fabulous Australian accent only made it better. I didn't realize just how attractive he is. I mean, I thought he was pretty cute in his author photo, but it doesn't do the man justice. Real life is just so much better. Though I am sad I forgot my camera, so I couldn't take any of my own pictures. This one will have to do:

That face + Aussie accent = swooning Lindy.

When I went to the reading/signing, I didn't have a copy of The Book Thief. It is one of my favorite books of all time, so naturally I own a copy, but I lent it to Faith so she could enjoy the greatness of it. I had a copy of I Am the Messenger (also a fantastic book), and I figured that would be good enough. But then Markus started talking about The Book Thief and how much writing it meant to him. He read a few pages from it and teared up. That was when I knew I had to get it signed—I just had to. So I bought another copy. And let me tell you, it was completely worth that $20.

Markus spoke for about an hour, and then they called us by groups to go into another room and get our books signed. Jenifer and I were in signing group I. It took four and a half hours for signing group I to make it into the same room with Markus Zusak. Yes, you read that right. Four and a half hours. Markus spent time with everyone. By the time we made it to his table, he was massaging his hand between each book. I can't imagine how much his hand must have hurt after four straight hours of signing books, but he never complained. There was an untouched piece of pizza next to him that he wouldn't eat because he didn't want to get people's books greasy.

Markus was incredibly nice, personable, and humble, and he spoke to everyone who came through. I might have sounded a bit like a goobery fan, but I had the chance, so I had to tell him just how much I loved The Book Thief. And I don't care if I gushed too much. He lives in Sydney, for Pete's sake. I'm never going to see him again, so I had to take the chance when I had it.

A four-and-a-half-hour wait was more than worth it for what I got:

To sum up, Saturday night was fabulous. I almost couldn't make it for wholly unimportant reasons, but I am so incredibly grateful that everything worked out and that I was able to go. This was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, and I can't get over how lucky I was that I could be there. Markus Zusak came all the way from Sydney, Australia, to Provo, Utah, and I got to experience it.

My life is officially mine again.

2011-03-25T18:25:00.003-06:00

As I have mentioned in previous posts, I have a tendency to get really into things (hence the section in the sidebar for my current obsession). These things generally take over my brain and occupy 80 percent of my thoughts. Sometimes I honestly wonder if I have a little OCD, which is what causes me to think about things so much.

In addition to my five month long BYU basketball obsession, the past few weeks I got seriously addicted to "Veronica Mars." It's a stupid (yet ridiculously awesome) TV show from a few years ago, featuring Kristen Bell as a teenage, amateur private eye. It's awesome, and I loved every second of it. I spent three weeks straight watching as many episodes as my free time would allow. I finished the third and final season in three days. (In my defense, there were only 20 episodes. But that's not really much of a defense.)

Well, on Tuesday night, I stayed up way too late and finished the incredibly unsatisfying third season. The series was canceled for who knows why, so it ends on a cliffhanger and Logan and Veronica don't get back together. Lame. And yesterday, the Cougars ended this insanely awesome season with a disappointing loss to Florida in the Sweet Sixteen.

And now my life is mine again. I currently have no obsessions, and it feels a little strange, I must admit. We'll see how long it lasts.

March Madness Is FUN!

2011-03-21T18:23:00.001-06:00

This would definitely not be my blog if I didn't post something about March Madness. I mean, it's sports, right? And BYU is playing, right? Perfect combination for the subject of a blog post.

This is the first year that I have paid close attention to college hoops, and boy did I pick the right season. I knew before the season that BYU was poised to be really good, and I had just gotten more into Jazz basketball than I had ever been, so basketball was already on the brain. Plus, I was coming off a not-so-stellar football season, and I needed some awesome to come from BYU athletics. So I watched every BYU game I could find in the early season and watched as the Cougars won game after game and Jimmer grew more and more famous with each ridiculous shot he made.

As the regular season closed with amazing highs and devastating lows, I couldn't be prouder of being a BYU alum and hoops fan. BYU came under major scrutiny, and no one thought they would go far in the NCAA tournament without Brandon Davies, especially after being blown out by SDSU in the MWC tourney.

But one thing I have learned this season is not to count those Cougars out. They are tough, and I don't remember ever seeing a team react to being the underdogs like they do.

On Saturday, BYU played Gonzaga as the underdog, despite BYU's 3 seed and Gonzaga's 11 seed. No one thought BYU could handle the size of the Zags. Every national analyst said BYU was toast. And you better believe Coach Rose let the team know that.

I watched the game at my parents' house, and as soon as the game started, my dad and I determined that Jimmer had his Jimmer-face on. You know, that look he has when he is completely determined not to lose a game. He had it at New Mexico, then dropped 52. Well, he didn't need 52 against Gonzaga; his teammates stepped up and shot lights out alongside him. And now BYU is headed to the Sweet Sixteen for the first time in 30 years. I am ecstatic. After the game, I would randomly turn to my dad and say, "Sweet Sixteen, Dad! Sweet Sixteen!" and he would just grin like an idiot with me. Cougar Nation has been waiting for this for a long, long time.

So keep rooting against the Cougs, nation. The more you place them as the underdogs, the more likely I think this team is to win. Those Florida Gators better watch their backs—they get Jimmer far away from home, in a foreign environment, wearing his road blues, in the biggest spotlight of the season. Just add a contingent of obnoxious Gator fans and you have the perfect storm to drive Jimmer to play at his ridonculous best.

Whatever happens on Thursday, this has been the best season ever. It has been unbelievable, and here's hoping the amazing keeps happening.

Cool Envy

2011-03-09T22:32:00.000-07:00

I am the worst at looking at other people and being super jealous of how cool I think they are. I look at people's blogs and think, "Ah, man, why didn't I think about doing something like that?! I'm so LAME!"

I look at other girls in their super cute clothes and their awesome style and think, "I wish I could look like that. I wish I had a style that's all my own and that other people would look at with envy."

I listen to people talk about the bands they listen to and think, "I wish I listened to cooler music like that." Actually . . . nevermind. That's not true. I listen to freaking awesome music, so you can scratch this one off the list.

I talk to other people and hear how funny they are and I think, "I am so dull-witted. Why can't I ever think of something clever to say?"

I watch other people being social and think, "Why am I so awkward around people? Why can't I just say 'hi' and make some new friends?"

I wish I were cooler. I wish I were more stylish. I wish I were wittier.

But then I wonder if people look at me and wish that they did something that I do. I allow myself to realize that everyone looks at other people and wishes they were more like them. Nobody is completely happy with everything about themselves, so we all look at other people to prove to ourselves that we aren't as cool as we think we should be.

There are people out there who think I'm cool. There are people who are jealous of the way I do certain things. There must be. Because nobody else is nearly as hard on me as I am.

Basically, I'm awesome. Not perfect, no. But I don't have to be perfect to be awesome, and neither do you.

Upholding Honor

2011-03-02T17:53:00.002-07:00

We all know that I am a ginormous BYU basketball fan, so when I heard the news that Brandon Davies had been suspended for violating the honor code, it felt like someone had punched me in the gut. I think the wind may have escaped my lungs. It sucks big time, and the Cougs are definitely going to miss that big man in the middle. It could have serious repercussions for their post-season play.

I've heard a few people wishing BYU had swept the issue under the rug for a few weeks, until after the NCAA Tournament. This is arguably the best basketball team in school history—why would the school throw away such a big opportunity to go deeper than ever in the Big Dance? Why would they risk losing that much money and exposure?

There is one simple explanation: BYU doesn't bend because the Church doesn't bend. There are no exceptions to the honor code, regardless of how well a team is doing. If Jimmer had been in this situation, the same thing would have happened. He would have been suspended. (And as sad as I am for Davies, when I thought about what my reaction would have been had that headline read a different name, it made me feel slightly better.)

BYU is a school that upholds honor. It is sponsored by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, which means that it must adhere to all the standards the Church requires its members to live. The result is stricter consequences to certain actions when attending BYU. Every student who enters knows what is expected. Every student knows what the honor code is. Every student knows what is in the honor code. And every student signs his or her name at the bottom of that piece of paper willingly, knowing full well what consequences come from not living accordingly.

This is what happened with Davies. From everything I've read, it seems as though he realized he had made a mistake and came forward with it, knowing full well the ramifications of that action. (Granted, I'm not positive on that, but it seems to fit. Don't quote me on it.) Davies could have hid what he did until later, but he didn't, and that gives me great respect for him. Integrity like that is hard to come by, especially in the sports world.

The fact that this upsetting news comes on the heels of some major NCAA investigations of other schools' basketball programs makes BYU's actions even more commendable. It seems that more often than not, coaches and athletic programs bend rules and cut corners in order to land that promising recruit. In the end, it leaves players feeling like they deserve undue benefits and organizations being weakened and often punished. What BYU decided to do was rough, but it was honest, and it showed that the organization knows that there are more important things than sports. Being good, upstanding people is more important. Living high standards is more important. Having faith in something greater than yourself is more important.

I know my lowly opinion on this blog doesn't count for much, but I say kudos to BYU. I love my alma mater, and I love the honor code that I lived to go there (and still live in order to live in their housing). I love that athletes are not exceptions to the rule at BYU and that everyone knows full well what is expected of them. Those that complain about the honor code can go to schools where students don't have to live such apparently unrealistic expectations (though a good chunk of the 34,000 students at BYU would argue the "unrealistic" part).

While this strict observance of the honor code could seriously injure BYU basketball this season, I'm taking the optimistic route. Davies was consistently in foul trouble, and plenty of other players stepped up to fill his void when he was sitting on the bench. Noah Hartsock leads the team in blocks, so he plays decent defense. Charles Abouo has been a beast on the boards of late. James Anderson has stepped in big when needed. Logan Magnusson can add a bigger body under the basket. Jackson Emery is a freak on the defensive end anywhere he is needed. BYU can go small and run with any team in the country. And let's not forget one little fact—we still have the best player in college hoops in Jimmer Fredette. If any team has the ability and toughness to rise above adversity, it's this one. Dave Rose is no dummy—he'll have a plan for this. And I'll be cheering loud and proud tonight at the Marriott Center as I watch my Cougars take on the Lobos.

My heart goes out to Davies, and I sincerely hope he figures things out and rejoins the team next season. We Cougar fans will welcome him back with open arms.

Go Cougs!

Uh oh . . .

2011-03-01T17:40:00.000-07:00

This is a supremely bad combination: lying on my bed, mindlessly surfing the interwebs with a bag of Red Vines sitting within arm's reach. Unfortunately, this paradoxically also sounds like a fantastic idea, which is how I came to be in this situation in the first place.

An Inconsistency

2011-02-24T17:47:00.001-07:00

When I get an event invite on Facebook, my knee-jerk reaction is to RSVP with maybe. (Unless, of course, it's some awesome event I'm for sure going to or something lame that I for sure won't be going to.) I like the maybe option because it lets me say no without really saying no. Then I don't feel bad when I don't show because I didn't actually say I would go.

This week, I created an event to invite people over to my apartment to watch the mega ultra super showdown between BYU and SDSU on Saturday. This game is HUGE and I didn't want to watch it with just me and Cora. As fun as that is (I love you, Cora), I wanted to watch with a group of people. It's just more fun that way.

So I set up the event and sent a bunch of invites, hoping that at least a few people would say yes and come enjoy the greatness of BYU basketball. Four days later, most of the people who have responded are maybes. And it annoys the tar out of me. Just decide one way or another, people! Geez!

Hypocritical much? Oh yes. But I would be willing to bet money that my days of saying maybe are far from over.

Jimmermania Strikes Again

2011-02-15T18:45:00.000-07:00

Okay, we all know I'm obsessed with Jimmer. (But really—what's not to like?) But we also know that I'm not the only one. This rap is one of the many awesome developments of Jimmermania. "Teach me how to Jimmer. Teach me, teach me how to Jimmer." It's been stuck in my head for two days now.

The End

2011-02-10T19:07:00.004-07:00

Day 30: A photograph of yourself today + three good things that have happened in the last 30 days

I'm not trying to sound conceited, but boy do I have fantastic eyes. Just look at those big blues!

I saw the Jimmer Show three times, including the monster showdown versus SDSU. Jimmermania is seriously the best, and I count myself lucky to be able to fully enjoy having the best basketball player in college hoops playing for my team, in the town I live in.
I discovered the Chaos Walking series by Patrick Ness. These books are amazing. If you like dark, scary, dystopian societies, read these books. ASAP.
I got a pedicure. 'Nough said.

And that, my friends, is the end of this challenge. I hope you enjoyed it.

Books, Books, Books

2011-02-09T19:24:00.000-07:00

Day 29: Something you could never get tired of doing.

I will never, ever, ever get tired of reading. Never ever. There are so many good books by good authors out there and I have to try to read them all. I never will, but that's not about to stop me from trying. I've always loved reading and I always will.

I could no sooner choose a favorite child.

2011-02-08T18:59:00.000-07:00

Day 28: Your favorite movie.

I do not have a favorite movie. I can't choose. It is impossible. I like far too many actors and genres and styles to choose a single movie that I love enough to deem my favorite. I love action, thrillers, comedy, quirky comedies, some romantic comedies, dramas, and animated films. If it's well written, well acted, and well directed, there's a good chance I will enjoy it. I like quality.

But to feel like I've at least got something to contribute to this post, I will post a few favorites (though this list is by no means all inclusive).

The Passage of Time

2011-02-07T22:37:00.002-07:00

Day 27: A picture of you last year and now and how you have changed since then.

February 2010, at the F Stop Café with Faith. It was the middle of our first café hopping trip, which was a phenomenal success.

December 2010. Not quite a year, I know, but I like this picture because I look great in it. It was an accidental sexy photo when all I was trying to do was take a picture of my fabulous hair.

To be completely honest, I don't know that I have changed too much. I've gotten to that point in my life where I don't change dramatically. I like to think I've matured into the adult that I'm going to be for the rest of my life. Of course I still have things to learn and decisions to make, but I don't think that changes no matter how old you get. There are always things to learn and grow from.

But when I think about what has changed about me, I honestly can't think of much. This past year went by so quickly. More quickly than any other year, I think. I feel like I've grown a lot and learned some things about myself, but really, a year isn't much time for things to change. Give me some more time and we'll see what happens.

The Big Apple

2011-02-06T22:07:00.001-07:00

Day 26: A photo of somewhere you've been to.

I think this picture is cool. Mostly because I took it. Not too shabby, eh?

I absolutely loved New York. I went nearly four years ago, and it's still my favorite vacation. Granted, I haven't actually been on vacation since, so . . . yeah.

The first time we drove into the city, it was a complete sensory overload. There is just so much going on. So much noise, so many people, so many cars. I never thought buildings could go so high or that so many people could fit on a city block. I just couldn't take it all in. It was a good thing we had ten days to try to see everything, though we still didn't get close.

I would love to live in New York. It helps that I'm an editor and all the best editing jobs are in New York, but even without that, I just love the city. I've always been a city girl. If I can't live in New York, I'd love to live in Salt Lake City. The idea of living out in the middle of nowhere is nightmarish to me. Seriously. I couldn't live south of Provo because that is just way too far away from things. I need my city fix. Going to New York City showed me just how much of a city girl I really am.

It's really not that exciting. Really.

2011-02-05T19:46:00.003-07:00

Day 25: What's in your purse?

I do have a super cute purse. Next to my green and purple floral jacket, I get the most compliments on this purse. I had a random lady at Zupas come up to me and ask me where I got it because she liked it so much. It was apparently a good choice of purses.

It's really quite big, so it can potentially hold a ton of random crap. However, I don't really fill it up, which is probably a good thing.

See? It's kind of empty. There's my wallet, some lotion, my keys, and a handy notebook that I use for writing down whatever I may need to write down at the moment. I also keep my iPod, headphones, and iPod cord in that little zipper pocket, with a few lip glosses/chapsticks. Then there's my gum (I always need gum) and the pocket where my cell phone goes. And . . . that's about it. Super thrilling. Don't say I didn't warn you.

Grandpa

2011-02-04T19:13:00.042-07:00

Day 24: A photo of something that means a lot to you.

These pictures sit on the bookshelf right next to my bedroom door. I love these pictures. They're my homage to Grandpa Newman, one of the very best men I've ever known. I took the one on the far left one Memorial Day when I was visiting Grandpa's grave. I'm not entirely sure why I took it, but it turned out really well, so I printed it.

I absolutely love the middle picture. I know it's small so you can't see it really well, but that's Grandpa holding baby me. I'm fast asleep, and he's just looking at me with so much love in his eyes. It's the only picture I know of with just me and Grandpa, and I think the first time I saw it was in the slide show at his viewing. It was the picture that made me break down, but I love it all the same. I can just see how much Grandpa loved me, and it warms my heart.

The third picture is one that my uncle took. They were putting an addition on Grandma and Grandpa's cabin, and that little bird kept flying in and getting stuck. Grandpa had an affinity with birds (he talked to them frequently), so he kept catching it and putting it back outside. I love this picture because it exemplifies William Newman. He was a hard worker and a skilled craftsman. He used those hands to build his house, to make wicker chairs, and to fix anything that needed fixing. Those hands were calloused and worn. Yet they could also be gentle enough to hold a little bird and get it to safety and nimble enough to sneak a tickle attack.

I miss that man so much. He was full of laughter, love, and happiness. He gave the best hugs, and I can't wait for the day that I get to feel one again. I love you, Grandpa Newman, and I'm so glad I'll get to see you again.

15

2011-02-03T22:47:00.000-07:00

Day 23: 15 facts about you.

In no particular order:

I absolutely hate being tailgated. There is no faster way to get expletives to escape my mouth than to tailgate me on the highway—especially when I'm already speeding.
I. love. shoes. From my perch on my bed, I can see sixteen pairs of shoes in my closet. And that's not even half of them. I could probably buy a new pair of shoes everyday. Fortunately, I don't.
I rock at Rock Band. I really do. I can pretty much play any song on expert for guitar. Just sayin'.
When I watch sports, I yell. A lot. I yell loudest when I'm actually at the game, but I'm still plenty loud when I'm watching from home.
I re-read every single thing I write. Texts, blog posts, Facebook comments . . . I have to make sure there are no mistakes before I send anything anywhere.
I have a Twitter account. It's true. @fabelhaftfrau
I love Claddagh rings, and I wear mine correctly. I am only slightly Irish, but that matters none to me.
My ideal man is a brown-eyed brunette who loves sports (a lot), but also loves movies, books, and music, and can hold intelligent conversations about all of the above.
I hate going to the dentist. Dentists scare me. I haven't been in two years, and before that, it had been five years. Maybe I've been watching too much Little Shop of Horrors.
I kind of like the idea of being famous. Or of marrying someone who's famous. *cough* Jimmer! *cough*
I would really like to live on my own. I want to decorate my own place, fill my own fridge, and dirty my own dishes. Unfortunately, my current finances preclude me from making that jump.
I think Jackson Emery (BYU's other senior guard) is hot. It's too bad he's married.
When I have the choice, I almost always choose wheat bread. I much prefer it to white, and I always have.
I get headaches all the time, and I have to take at least four ibuprofen to kick them. Two is never enough.
I keep ticket stubs from everything I go to. I get really mad when I get online tickets that I have to print out instead of getting real, legit tickets.

So Bloody Frustrating

2011-02-02T21:12:00.004-07:00

Day 22: A letter to someone who has hurt you recently.

This is kind of a hard one. You see, I haven't really been hurt lately, per se. This could be attributed to the lack of action on the guy front, or to the fact that I have good enough relationships with my girlfriends that we don't really have drama. Whatever the case, my life has lacked hurtful exchanges lately, and I'm going to just go ahead and call that a good thing.

I have, however, been frustrated out of my head by someone recently, so that's where this post is going to go.

Dear Doofus,

You are nearly thirty. When I first met you, I had no idea you were that old, mostly because you frequently act like you're thirteen. (You certainly text like you are.) At first, it was just kind of funny, and a little charming in some ways. And then we were given callings that forced us to work closely together, and that charm wore off reeeeeaaaalllly quickly.

When I voice an opinion, you shut me down. When I try to back up my opinion, you tell me to stop stressing out so much. When I continue to back up my opinion because I refuse to be shut down without consideration, you tell me I'm frustrating you. With all of that combined, here is what I hear: "Holy crap, Lindy, stop being such a girl. I'm the priesthood holder, which therefore means my opinion is more valid than yours."

Well listen up, Doofus. I am a strong woman with strong opinions. I was given this calling so I could make changes and bring my ideas to the table. I don't care if you don't want to plan things on Saturdays because it interferes with your life. I don't care if you want to throw together a half-assed activity in a week just so you can be done with it. I don't care how frustrating I am to you or how annoying it is to plan out every detail. I am going to voice my opinions, and I am going to be heard. You want to know why? Because my opinions are valid. And, by the way, in most cases my opinions are better than yours. I care about getting people more involved in the ward. I care about doing my best to make it easier for people to be social here. I care about magnifying my calling and doing the best I possibly can.

Since you don't seem to care about any of that, I will go over your head. I will talk to the bishop. I will talk to the Relief Society presidency. I will talk to whomever I need to talk to to get things done, whether you like it or not. So you better watch yourself. I'm a stubborn girl, and I will get my way.

If this is the way you treat every girl in your life, Doofus, it's no wonder you're pushing that 3-0 mark while still single. No self-respecting girl wants to put up with your crap.

Hugs and kisses,

Lindy

I will have a library someday.

2011-02-01T20:43:00.000-07:00

Day 21: A photo of something that makes you happy.

There are so many things that make me happy. I could choose so many different things from family to movies. But I will choose something that I look at everyday, and that I never tire of looking at.

I love everything about this picture (except the Twilight books—forgive me, I bought them in a moment of weakness). I love how I've managed to mix books, music, journals, magazines, and picture albums in one bookshelf. I also love how the books are piling on top of each other because I'm running out of room—plus the boxed set of Percy Jackson on the floor next to the bookshelf.

When I first moved into this apartment, I had one small, three-foot bookshelf that held all my fun books plus my reference materials (dictionaries, style manuals, and so on). In the year and five months since I have lived where I am now, my personal little library has more than doubled. That is one thing a full-time job has done for me. If I want to read a book, I buy it, because if it's worth reading, it's more than likely worth owning. (I won't lie to you—this belief system has bitten me in the butt a couple of times, but for the most part, it has treated me well.)

When I grow up and can finally afford my own house, I want a library. It will have floor-to-ceiling bookshelves that are packed full of books about anything and everything. By then, an entire section will probably be dedicated to my journals alone. And if I can swing it, I will also have a rolly ladder, a la Beauty and the Beast.

Basically, I love books, so what isn't there to like about a room full of them?