Thanksgiving Day Eight

Tonight Andrew and I stopped by the mall so we could pick up his ring. Andrew wanted it engraved with our wedding date and "Always and Forever," which I thought was super sweet. He's just super sweet. My favorite part about that engraving is "Forever." Because it's true. Andrew and I will be getting sealed for time and all eternity in the temple, and I am so thankful for that. I'm thankful that I have the truth of the Gospel and that I will get to be with my family forever.

I'm so thankful that my upcoming marriage to Andrew won't just be for time. Death won't part us. I will get to be with him and grow with him for the rest of eternity, and that thought fills me with warmth and happiness. The children we have will be ours forever. What an amazing blessing.

Life's Changes (or lack thereof)

As of a week ago, this was my plan:

I was moving out of Carriage Cove in August (hooray!). I had three friends to move with, and we were going to find a condo or a house somewhere, preferably south Provo. I had signed a spring/summer extension for CC, which meant I would have awesomely cheap rent for four months. And since I had just paid off my car, I would have loads of extra cash I could use for playing. And saving. I would have four months of summer, during which I could keep myself from caring about the new boys, because I would soon be leaving. I could simply enjoy myself and not worry about whether there was any interest there. I would be moving soon to a new ward full of new guys and new girls and new social circles and new everything. Change would be abundant, and I was thrilled about that.

It's amazing how much can change in a mere week. Here are my current plans:

I am staying in CC through next April. That's eight months longer than I anticipated, giving me another solid year in this place (sigh). By the time this new contract is up, I will have lived at CC for three years and eight months. Since my contract is now April to April, the price of my summer rent went up. It's the price I'm used to paying, but not the price I was expecting to pay. I will still have plenty of cash for playing, but not quite as much as I was hoping to have. This does mean that I get to continue to be Cora and Brittany's roommate (minus the summer, since Cora is leaving me to live with her aunt. She somehow thinks free rent, utilities, and groceries is cooler than paying rent for the summer. Something about how saving money is important. Rubbish, in my opinion).

I'm very conflicted about this decision. I will have you know that staying in CC is the absolute right decision for me right now. The Lord kind of walloped me upside the head by making my original plans fall to pieces. Here's the problem: I don't want to stay. At all. I've loved most of my time at CC, and I have met some incredible people here. The apartments are nice enough, I have my own room, and the pool/hot tub setup is pretty sweet. But I've been here for nearly three years, and another year feels like an eternity. I graduated from BYU in 2008, and I am ready to be out of student housing. The boys don't date. Well, not me, anyway. And they're young. Lots of people here are young. I'm now one of those older people that people reference when they say, "Yeah, there are a few older people in my ward."

The bottom line is that I am craving change. I need it so bad right now. I thought my life was going to take a major turn for the better, and I was so looking forward to it. But now my life has course corrected to the exact same route I was hoping to leave. Why does the Lord insist upon keeping me at CC? What is it that I am supposed to learn from this place?

I have so many thoughts and feelings bobbing around my head:

• When signing my new contract, I felt the need to choose the one that would be the easiest to sell if that became necessary. 
• I feel like CC and my current job are inseparably connected. 
• I refuse to allow myself to think that the reason I'm still here is because of a boy. 
• Part of me is hoping that Der Junge is the kind of guy who refuses to date in his own ward, so now that he's moving out, he'll realize he misses me and make a move. 
• I have this nagging suspicion that come next April, my life will be exactly the same as it is now.
• Our current relief society president is moving out in August. I don't want to think about what that could mean for me.

I don't know if any of these thoughts actually mean something or if I'm trying to impose my own meaning on this incongruous decision I have made. Whatever the case, I'm simply hoping that there will come a time when I understand why I had to do this. I am going to do my best not to complain. Complaining doesn't leave much room for faith, and I refuse to resent the Lord for guiding me in the direction that's best for me. Because this will be best for me. I don't know how or why, but the Lord does, and I have to believe that.

I Belong to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints

Day Forty-One: Your religious beliefs.

I know most people who read my blog are probably of the same faith as I am, but I'll do a little outline of my religious beliefs anyway. The blog challenge's wish is my command, after all.

I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. The members are sometimes also known as Mormons because we believe the Book of Mormon to be the word of God. We believe that in 1820, 14-year-old Joseph Smith went into a grove of trees to pray about which church to join. As an answer to his prayer, God the Father and Jesus Christ appeared to Joseph Smith and told him that he should join none of them, for none of them had the full truth of the Gospel. Throughout the next ten years, Joseph Smith received revelations, obtained and translated the golden plates that contained the Book of Mormon, and restored the true church upon the earth once again.

We believe that Jesus Christ is the Savior and the Redeemer of the world. This is the most important aspect of the Gospel. Christ is the center of it all. He was sent to earth by our Father in Heaven to atone for our sins in the garden of Gethsemane. He was to die on the cross and then be resurrected three days later so that all men might conquer death. Because of Christ's atonement, everyone can repent and turn unto Him, and thus receive eternal life. Christ is the great Mediator, and it is through His grace that we are saved, but only after we do all that we can do in this life to follow Him. 

God the Father is my Father. I am His child, and I am therefore of divine worth. He loves me. He knows who I am. He wants me to return to Him. He has a plan for me, and as long as I remain faithful, He will guide me through that plan and I will gain all that He has in store for me. 

I believe that Heavenly Father, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Ghost are three distinct and separate individuals. They are one in that they all share the same purpose, but they are physically separate beings. In that aspect, Mormons very much differ from traditional Christianity.

As a Mormon, I also believe in personal revelation. God speaks to me through the gift of the Holy Ghost. I have felt that power in my life multiple times. Through this same power, Heavenly Father speaks to modern-day prophets, who are called in this day and age to guide the modern Church through these turbulent times. 

There is so much more that I believe in as a Latter-day Saint. There are temple ordinances, the power of the priesthood, eternal families, the three kingdoms of heaven, resurrection, so much more to the Atonement, tithing and fast offerings, and so on. I could write pages and pages about what exactly I believe, but I simply don't have time. If anyone who doesn't understand my beliefs already comes across this blog, go to mormon.org. All the information you need is there. 

Another thing that I want everyone to know: I believe with my whole heart that I belong to the true church. Jesus Christ is my Savior. He died for me, for my individual sins and sorrows and infirmities, which means He is the only person who can fully and completely understand everything I go through. He is the one who knows best how to succor me and comfort me and help me. He is the best friend I could ever have, and I can't tell you how incredibly grateful I am for the knowledge I have of Him, and most especially for the personal relationship I have developed with Him. I love Him, and I love His Gospel.

This was more difficult than it seemed.

Day Thirty-Nine: Things you want to say to five different people.

Ooooh, this could be interesting. Here goes nothing.

1. Der Junge: In case you didn't already know, I'm interested in you. (And seriously, if you didn't already know this, you are blind as a friggin' bat.) I don't necessarily need you to be sure you want to date me (though I wouldn't mind it one bit), but would it hurt you to give me a shot? How about you just ask me on one little date (it can be inexpensive, or even free, I don't care) and spend the evening deciding if you could see yourself dating me? I know for a fact that you don't know what you want. So give me a shot and find out for sure if I fit your qualifications. All I'm asking for is a chance. This isn't a marriage proposal. It's one date. 
2. The "Party Apartment": I know you girls think you're all that and a bag of chips because you have lots of parties and always have boys over at your apartment. But really, it's just kind of obnoxious. You're not the "party apartment" of the ward, as you have dubbed yourselves. Many of us in the complex have parties and invite people over—you're not the only ones capable of being social. And most of the people that you invite over started their socialness in this ward by hanging out with my apartment. So stop acting like you're God's gift to the 192nd ward. You're kind of just sweeping up our sloppy seconds. (Sorry . . . that was catty, I know. But these girls drive me up a wall. Holy cow.)
3. John Paul White: I love you. I really do. I know you're married and you have long hair and you have lots of tattoos, but I love you. And it's not just because you look a whole heckuva lot like Johnny Depp. It's because your lyrics speak to me and your voice makes me absolutely melt. I am entranced by your guitar because you make it look like an extension of your arms. You play with no difficulty, and I ache to have that kind of talent. You sing while playing intricate melodies and thumping rhythms, and I'm baffled as to how you keep it all straight. It would be one of the best nights of my life if at your concert in May I could actually meet you and tell you a small part of this in person.
4. President Dieter F. Uchtdort: Thank you so, so much for pretty much every talk you have ever given in conference. There is something about your persona and your voice that I can relate to. Your soothing voice is a comfort to me, and you always manage to say exactly what I need to hear. I especially thank you for your "Forget Me Not" talk at women's conference. Being in the same room with you made your words that much more powerful. When you evoked the authority of your priesthood office and proclaimed that I am not forgotten by my Father in Heaven, chills coursed through my body. I could feel in the depths of my soul the truthfulness of your words. The Spirit spoke to me very clearly and emphasized your point. It is a lesson that I very much needed, and I will forever be grateful to you for providing it.
5. Coach Dave Rose: You, sir, are amazing. You have eclipsed 20 wins for the seventh season in a row, which is each one of the seasons you have coached basketball at BYU. That is absolutely incredible. You managed to achieve your 100th home victory before reaching even 10 home losses. You somehow succeeded in managing the insanity that was Jimmermania. After losing your best offensive player and your best defensive player, you still created a competitive team. I have only recently started paying really close attention to BYU hoops, and I have to say that it has a whole lot to do with you. Jimmer and Jackson may have been the shiny objects that caught my eye, but it didn't take me long to realize who was really behind the success. For the sake of every BYU hoops fan everywhere, please stay. Please stay for a really, really long time. 

Okay, that was a lot harder than I thought it would be. But I covered boys, people I don't like, music, church, and sports, so I call this post a success.

Individuality

Day Eighteen: What makes you different than everyone else?

Well, one rather obvious thing that makes me different than at least other girls is that I absolutely love sports. Case in point: I am currently watching BYU play Gonzaga. I had been flipping back and forth between the BYU game and the Jazz game, until it became apparent that the Jazz were going to lose. And the BYU game was much more exciting. And I'm not just a casual fan—I am an avid fan. When I talk about games, I know what I'm talking about. I can't tell you how many times I've watched games with a bunch of dudes and have ended up explaining the rules or some other aspect of the game because I know more about it than they do. My father has taught me well. [Update: BYU kicked Gonzaga's trash all over the court. Such an awesome game. I wish I could have gone to the Marriott Center—it was rockin' tonight.]

Another thing that unfortunately sets me apart from a lot of people is my common sense. I am pretty level headed, and I do my best not to let my emotions run away with me. Granted, there are times when that doesn't work out so well, but I do my best. Especially when I'm around guys. I'm not one of those girls whose brain leaves her body as soon as boys enter the room. I don't turn into a brainless flirt. Then again, that seems to work for a lot of girls, so maybe I need to incorporate a little bit of that into my life. But only a little.

The last thing that makes me different is that I am a Mormon. Granted, in Provo, that doesn't make me different. That makes me normal. But when compared with the rest of the world, being Mormon makes me pretty weird. We are a peculiar people. We have peculiar beliefs. I believe in morality. In absolute right and wrong, in Truth with a capital T. In modern-day revelation. I believe that my life isn't mine to do with what I please. It has been given to me so I can learn to align my will with my Father's will. So that by doing His will, I will bless the lives of those around me and will in turn be blessed. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has blessed my life in a myriad of ways. There is no doubt in my mind that it is true.

GOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAL!

Day Seven: Short-term goals for this month.

My number-one goal for this month is to make getting up at 6:30 to go to the gym a habit. I need to convince myself that I have to get up, because then I can have my whole evening to myself and I don't have to worry about not meeting my gym goal because something fun comes up. I'm sorry, but the gym isn't ever going to take precedence over doing fun things with my friends. If I remember that, getting up might not be so difficult.

Goal number two is to have more meaningful scripture study. I've been feeling more and more lately like I need to pay more attention to what I'm reading and actually write down the thoughts and insights I have. With how much I write in my journal, you wouldn't think that's difficult for me, but it is. Which is why I've decided that I'm going to make my regular day-to-day journal double as my spiritual journal. It should be anyway because I need to write down the spiritual experiences I have in my everyday life, but sometimes it doesn't work that way.

A third goal is to listen to conference talks while I get ready in the mornings. It's a perfect time to do it because I'm not doing anything else. I usually just listen to music, but if I switch to conference talks, I can listen to two a day. I used to be really good at it about a year ago, and it was so cool to see what things in my daily life reminded me of talks that I had listened to recently. It was a great way to listen to the counsel of the prophets again and to be reminded of the things that I need to work on.

A fourth goal is to get some quality one-on-one hang-out time with Der Junge. I tried on Friday, but he was hanging out with his roommate, who got invited along on our excursion. It's not a big deal, since his roommate is my friend too, but I really wanted to just hang out with Der Junge. That's proving to be more difficult than I thought it would be. However, Der Junge let it slip that he has never seen any of the Indiana Jones movies (a travesty, I know!), so I promptly borrowed all three of them from my parents and I will force him to watch them with me. So maybe that will work in my favor one of these days.

So there you have it. My goals. I didn't realize I had so many.

The Way, the Truth, and the Life

Day Six: A photo of something/someone that has had the biggest impact on you.

There are so very many people and things that have had enormous impacts on me both for good and for ill. I have known absolutely amazing people throughout my life that have helped me learn and grow and become a better person. I have read books and watched movies that have completely changed my viewpoints on issues and have broadened my world. I have taken classes that have forced me out of my comfort zone and taught me how to live outside myself.

But today is Sunday, and I just taught a rather emotional Relief Society lesson about repentance and my Savior. Therefore, I think it appropriate to write about the person who has had the biggest impact on my life. That person is Jesus Christ. I believe with my whole heart that Christ is my Savior and that He died for me. He shed drops of blood from every pore so that I don't have to. If I but turn to him and use the Atonement in my everyday life, I won't have to face justice at the last day. The Savior will step in my place and be my advocate to the Father.

I honestly don't know where I would be without a knowledge of my Savior. There have been so many times in my life when I have felt completely lost and alone. When I have been confused and afraid. When I have been ashamed and humiliated. In each instance, the fact that I have a Savior who wants to hear all my concerns and fears has been an enormous comfort. I can't count how many times I have felt the love of my Savior and simply felt that everything will turn out okay. I have seen His tender mercies in my everyday life, and I can't say how much of a blessing that is.

The truth is that I never would have realized the importance of all the people and things that have impacted my life without the knowledge that a loving Savior and Heavenly Father are guiding my life. I have experienced things and gotten to know people for a reason. Everything always seems to work out when I trust in my Heavenly Father and I strive to do what He asks of me. No other person or thing could ever hope to have a bigger impact on my life.

Nauvoo: The City Beautiful

Day Four: A picture of somewhere you've been.

In case you were wondering, this awesome photo was taken by yours truly. I'm cool, I know.

Nauvoo, Illinois, is one of my favorite places in the whole world. I love this place. I love the history of it and the feelings it evokes in me. I love, love, love the temple. It's absolutely amazing. I have yet to go inside or to do any work there, but I will one day. (That wasn't even intended to mimic the song. I am good.)

I was eleven the first time I went to Nauvoo. I was with my parents as we drove across the country to take my grandparents their car. They were serving a mission in Kirtland, Ohio. My parents decided that if we were driving that far anyway, we might as well make it a big trip and hit all the major Church history sites. It was an absolutely incredible vacation for my eleven-year-old self. It was one of the single greatest testimony-building experiences I had ever had, and Nauvoo sat squarely in the middle of it. I was reading the sixth Work and the Glory book at the time, which happens to be set completely in Nauvoo. It really helped me visualize where things happened and what was going on at that time in Church history. That was where I first gained a testimony of Joseph Smith.

Another awesome thing about that trip was that we rolled into Nauvoo on the first Sunday in April, which is General Conference, of course. And it happened to be the conference when President Hinckley announced the rebuilding of the Nauvoo temple. It was pretty amazing.

I didn't get to go back to Nauvoo until seven years later, when my mom, my grandma, and I went to my cousin Dustin's high school graduation. I hadn't seen Cora, Dustin, Blake, and Robyn since the last time we had gone to Nauvoo, so it was super exciting to see them. Cora, Jamie, Robyn, Mom, Grandma, and I spent three days in Nauvoo during that trip, and finally seeing the temple was incredible. As you drive along the Mississippi River, the road takes a curve, and BAM! there's the temple. It seems to loom up out of nowhere. It's no wonder the Saints chose that spot for the House of the Lord.

I love Nauvoo. I love it so much. I want to go back, and I want to do baptisms in the temple. Heck, I'd love to get married in the Nauvoo temple, but unfortunately, all my family is in Utah, so that probably won't happen. 

I'm so grateful for the chances I have had to go to Nauvoo and to feel the incredible spirit of what the Saints left behind. It truly is the City Beautiful.

Giving Thanks Day 30: A Plan

Well, here it is. The last day of November. I honestly can't believe that tomorrow is December and that the year is almost over. It has gone by so quickly. It's crazy how fast time flies when you get out of college and are no longer living your life in four-month increments.

November has been an insane month. So many things happened, both good and bad. It has been a month of learning and growth and a little bit of pain. But it has also been a month of triumph and of truly recognizing how many wonderful blessings I have been given. I feel like a good portion of my posts this month have had something to do with the Gospel, and I love that, because despite the hard things this month, it has also been a wonderfully spiritual month for me. I have felt so close to the Lord and so aware of all that I have been given.

So on this the last day of November, I am thankful for my knowledge of my Savior. I am thankful that He is aware of me and of my trials. He knows what I am going through, and best of all, He knows what I need. He has a plan for me, and that plan is better for than anything I could come up with myself. I feel like the main lesson I need to learn in my life (at least at this point in my life) is that I must have faith in my Heavenly Father's plan for me. When I get frustrated because something I want to do isn't working out, I just have to sit back and have faith that the Lord is putting me in a position where I can fully claim all the blessings he has for me. I have a Savior. I have a Heavenly Father. And they care about me and want what's best for me. If I just have faith in their wisdom, life will work out for me, and I will be happy.

I am so thankful for the Gospel and for the guiding influence it is in my life. I am so thankful for the knowledge I have of my Savior and of all that He has sacrificed for me. The Book of Mormon is the word of God, and Thomas S. Monson is a latter-day prophet who guides us in these days. I am a daughter of a Heavenly Father who loves me and is watching over me. I am so thankful for that knowledge. I don't know where I would be without the Gospel in my life.

Giving Thanks Day 27: My Calling

Last night was a bit of an interesting night. I rolled back into Provo at around nine and then went to visit a couple of friends. After chatting and watching a movie, I went back to my apartment at around midnight. I talked to Brittany for a while, and then Cora came home, and Cora and I ended up talking until probably about 1:30.

Now, none of that in and of itself is out of the ordinary. In fact, that's become a fairly normal night for me, especially on the weekends. Here was the problem: We have 8:30 church. At 1:30, I had yet to put any of my stuff away from my trip to my parents. My bed was a shambles and without sheets. And as if that wasn't bad enough, I still had to plan my lesson for Relief Society the next day. Awesome.

I think it was a little after 2:00 when I finally started planning my lesson. Don't get me wrong—I knew what my lesson was on and I had listened to the conference talk already. I had been thinking about it for weeks. But I had yet to sit down and actually plan out how I wanted my lesson to go. And 2:00 in the morning isn't really ideal thinking time for Lindy.

I have to say that I was pretty worried about my lesson that day. I was running on roughly four and a half hours of sleep, which is ridiculous. But when I got up to teach, I was wide awake. I didn't feel lethargic at all. I tried my best to follow what the Spirit prompted, and I hope that came across. It doesn't matter how many times I teach—I never know how well I've done unless someone tells me. I can never gauge it myself. But I did get a few very nice comments from sisters, so I think it went well overall.

I am so thankful for this calling. I absolutely love teaching Relief Society. It's so nice that I don't have to do something every week, and I get such fulfillment out of teaching a good lesson. And because I teach on the fourth Sunday, I get to delve into conference talks that I may not have thoroughly studied otherwise. I am so thankful for the things I have learned with my calling and for the blessings the Lord has given me through it. So many things have been clarified in my mind as I have taught lessons. I feel like every talk I am supposed to teach is meant for me, and it is such a wonderful feeling to know that my Heavenly Father is aware of and watching out for me.

Giving Thanks Day 18: Personal Revelation

Today I went to the temple. It was quite possibly the first time I had ever gone twice in one month. I've always struggled a little bit with temple attendance. I had a whole bucketload of things on my mind, and while I didn't get a specific answer necessarily for any one thing, I came out feeling like everything would work out. I was comforted to know that I was doing everything I could do in the things I was going through and that it was mostly just time for me to have faith and to trust that the Lord knows what He's doing.

I am so thankful that I have a knowledge of my Heavenly Father. I'm thankful that I can go to Him whenever I need help and that He will always, always be there to listen to me and answer my prayers. I'm so thankful for personal revelation and for the chance to be guided in my everyday life. Even though sometimes I may feel like I am praying for silly things, I know the Lord wants me to go to Him with everything. Even if the answer is, "It's up to you," I know that my Heavenly Father is listening to me and pointing me in the direction I need to go.

Source

I really like this painting. It very much illustrates how I feel when my eyes are opened and I receive answers to my prayers.

Giving Thanks Day 14: The Priesthood

That issue I mentioned yesterday hasn't gone away. And it probably isn't going to go away for a little while yet. Tonight I became extremely concerned for the well being of a couple of people. (I'm sorry if this starts sounding super cryptic. It's not intended—it's just not a situation that everyone needs to know about.) I was very stressed, and there was nothing I could do to fix that, so all I wanted to do was get out of my apartment. Throughout FHE, my friend Jordan simply noticed that I was having a rough time. After FHE, he said, "I'm going to go get a Mountain Dew. You wanna come?" I said yes gladly. Any excuse to get out was a good excuse.

I had a good chat with Jordan, and as I was coming home, Kira, Heather, Alison, and Kira's friend Clint were leaving my apartment to get some food. Kira invited me to go with, and I, again, gladly accepted. We drove around for half an hour, just talking. Then I went to Kira and Heather's and talked some more. I was so anxious about things that I was freaking out a little bit.

While it would have been just fine if Kira and Heather had simply talked to me and let me air out my feelings, they did so much more than that. Kira called people who needed to know what was going on so that something could actually be done about the situation. Then Heather asked me if I needed a blessing. I wasn't sure if I did or not, but Kira basically said, "It can't hurt," and called my friend Adam to come over.

This was the first time I had ever gotten a blessing from someone other than my dad or my brothers. Since I live so close to home, I've never really called on the elders in my wards to help me out when I've been in trouble. The truth is, I've never been entirely comfortable with that. But after Adam came over, talked to me about the issue, gave me a priesthood blessing, and gave me a hug, I knew that everything was going to be okay. My panic abated and I could feel the Spirit comforting me.

I am so incredibly thankful for the power of the priesthood and for the men who are worthy to hold that power. I am so thankful that there are such amazing men in my ward that I can call on in times of need. The best part about tonight was that I knew Adam wasn't the only one on the list of brethren who would have come over to give me a blessing. I can think of seven or eight other guys that would have helped me out. The priesthood is such an amazing blessing in my life, and I'm so thankful that I have such easy access to its power anytime I need it.

Giving Thanks Day 13: Tender Mercies

Late last night, some crap hit the fan. I'm not going to go into detail, but a couple of us in our apartment (and one of us in particular [not me]) went into crisis mode. It was (is) a very scary and difficult situation. And while it wasn't my personal problem, it was a problem for someone I loved, so I was stressing about someone who was stressing about someone else.

All day today at church, I was a little preoccupied because I wasn't sure what was going on. I didn't know how things were going to shake out. But throughout the day, I noticed small things that helped me recognize that I am still loved despite what was going on around me. At break the fast, a friend asked me how I was doing. When I responded, "I've been better," he didn't ask me what was going on. He simply gave me a hug and told me to let him know if I needed anything.

Later tonight, I was watching a show with some friends, and they just let me talk to them about what was going on. They were simply there for me and for my roommates and also offered their services in case we needed anything.

Then I went to ward prayer, where I had a good friend sit me down and ask me sincerely how I was doing. He truly wanted to know, which was so nice and so needed. It was comforting to know that someone was paying enough attention to go out of his way to make sure I was okay.

This doesn't even count the numerous random compliments that I got from multiple people today. I'm nearly positive that none of those people had any idea how much I needed their kind words, but they were said at just the time that I needed to hear them.

I'm so thankful for those tender mercies from the Lord. Even when I am going through something very difficult, I am reminded of the amazing people in my life and of the many incredible blessings that I do have.

Giving Thanks Day 10: Morality

Okay, so I know that title is a little weird, but I promise it will make sense once I'm done with this post.

So. I'm a college sports fan. We should all know this by now. No surprise. And my favorite team is BYU. Again, no surprise. In the past little while, there have been all sorts of scandals involving college athletics, and especially football. Ohio State, Miami, UCF, Oregon, and USC have all been involved in various illegal activities that have brought sanctions from the NCAA. But the worst sports scandal of all time broke this week at Penn State. I don't want to get into details because they are awful and sordid and make me ill. You can go look them up yourselves if you don't know them already. Basically, there was a sick, sick man who coached the football team and whose alleged crimes were seemingly covered up by the athletics department. Two people have stepped down, two have been fired, and one has been placed on administrative leave because they all failed (in the hugest way possible) to make the right decision in a moral situation when children's welfare was at stake.

Now to what I'm thankful for today. I am thankful that I attended a university that stands for something more than athletics. I am thankful that while the athletics department isn't perfect (men's volleyball has had some issues), it at least knows that it isn't the be-all and end-all and doesn't take precedence over human life. After this Penn State scandal, BYU is now the only Division I football program to have won a national championship without a major NCAA violation, and I am proud of that.

With so much moral ambiguity in the world, I am so thankful that I have a good moral basis. I belong to a church that espouses moral excellence and teaches its members to strive to do good in all things. Because of that foundation, I have an automatic answer in many situations that would confuse and conflict others. I know that there is a right and a wrong choice, and I know that I have the ability and the knowledge to choose the right. That is such a blessing in my life.

Giving Thanks Day 6: My Ward

Today was a good Sunday. Which is to be expected because every Sunday is good. However, it could have been a better Sunday, and I'll tell you why. We had stake conference today, which was a great meeting, but it wasn't the same as going to my own ward. Even though I sat by a bunch of people from my ward and hung out with multiple friends tonight, it just wasn't the same as going to church with my own ward.

There have been multiple times in my time in Provo when I have gone home as often as I could because I didn't like my ward. Usually it was because I was too shy or too afraid to get to know people, so I never felt fully comfortable or welcome. I've never liked the feeling of being alone, so I would go to my home ward with my parents where I knew people.

There have also been times where I haven't wanted to go home because I've felt so comfortable with and so involved in my singles ward, and this is one of those times. I was sad that we had stake conference today because I wanted to go to my ward where I knew everyone and felt completely at home. When I could have skipped ward prayer, I made an effort to go because I wanted to see my friends.

I'm so thankful that I belong to a church where I can always be a part of something. I know that when I don't feel like I belong in my ward it is often my own doing. I've made an effort lately, and it has paid off in a big way. If I ever need anything, I have a whole list of people I know I can contact who would be more than willing to come help me with whatever I need. I belong in this ward and I feel like I belong. I'm happy here and I don't want to go anywhere else. This is my ward and my home, and I'm so thankful for the opportunities I've had and the people I've met here.

Giving Thanks Day 2: The Temple

For the past couple of months, I've been feeling like I need to go to the temple. As time passed and I continued to not go, that feeling just got stronger and stronger. I knew I needed to go, but I always managed to find some excuse to stay home or do something else. Then last month my home teachers asked me to set a goal for the next month, and without hesitation, I said, "Temple attendance." I knew it was what I needed. Yet weeks still went by without accomplishing that goal.

But tonight I finally changed that. Brittany, Alison, and I went to the Provo Temple to do some baptisms. It was crazy busy. We were there for two hours to be confirmed twice and baptized once. There were some super giggly girls that couldn't seem to stop talking. We could hear the 12-year-olds in the dressing room. But despite all of that, it was still the temple. It was still the House of the Lord. I could still feel the Spirit more strongly than I can feel it anywhere else.

I went in with specific issues to pray for. I've been frustrated about some things lately and I needed some extra guidance. I didn't get a lightning-bolt answer tonight, but despite that, I feel calmer now. I know that the Lord is watching over me and that if I just listen, he will prompt me when I need to do something. I simply feel more content that things will work out and that I will be able to make the right decisions when I am in certain situations.

I am so incredibly grateful for the temple and for how accessible it is, especially here in Provo. It is a five-minute drive at most, and while it may take me two hours to go through the baptistry, it's a small price to pay for the peace and comfort I feel when I leave. I am so thankful that the Lord loves us enough to give us temples and to give us the opportunity to visit His House. I am determined to go much more often than I have been lately. I love how serene I feel, and serenity is definitely something I could use more of.

Upholding Honor

We all know that I am a ginormous BYU basketball fan, so when I heard the news that Brandon Davies had been suspended for violating the honor code, it felt like someone had punched me in the gut. I think the wind may have escaped my lungs. It sucks big time, and the Cougs are definitely going to miss that big man in the middle. It could have serious repercussions for their post-season play.

I've heard a few people wishing BYU had swept the issue under the rug for a few weeks, until after the NCAA Tournament. This is arguably the best basketball team in school history—why would the school throw away such a big opportunity to go deeper than ever in the Big Dance? Why would they risk losing that much money and exposure?

There is one simple explanation: BYU doesn't bend because the Church doesn't bend. There are no exceptions to the honor code, regardless of how well a team is doing. If Jimmer had been in this situation, the same thing would have happened. He would have been suspended. (And as sad as I am for Davies, when I thought about what my reaction would have been had that headline read a different name, it made me feel slightly better.)

BYU is a school that upholds honor. It is sponsored by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, which means that it must adhere to all the standards the Church requires its members to live. The result is stricter consequences to certain actions when attending BYU. Every student who enters knows what is expected. Every student knows what the honor code is. Every student knows what is in the honor code. And every student signs his or her name at the bottom of that piece of paper willingly, knowing full well what consequences come from not living accordingly.

This is what happened with Davies. From everything I've read, it seems as though he realized he had made a mistake and came forward with it, knowing full well the ramifications of that action. (Granted, I'm not positive on that, but it seems to fit. Don't quote me on it.) Davies could have hid what he did until later, but he didn't, and that gives me great respect for him. Integrity like that is hard to come by, especially in the sports world.

The fact that this upsetting news comes on the heels of some major NCAA investigations of other schools' basketball programs makes BYU's actions even more commendable. It seems that more often than not, coaches and athletic programs bend rules and cut corners in order to land that promising recruit. In the end, it leaves players feeling like they deserve undue benefits and organizations being weakened and often punished. What BYU decided to do was rough, but it was honest, and it showed that the organization knows that there are more important things than sports. Being good, upstanding people is more important. Living high standards is more important. Having faith in something greater than yourself is more important.

I know my lowly opinion on this blog doesn't count for much, but I say kudos to BYU. I love my alma mater, and I love the honor code that I lived to go there (and still live in order to live in their housing). I love that athletes are not exceptions to the rule at BYU and that everyone knows full well what is expected of them. Those that complain about the honor code can go to schools where students don't have to live such apparently unrealistic expectations (though a good chunk of the 34,000 students at BYU would argue the "unrealistic" part).

While this strict observance of the honor code could seriously injure BYU basketball this season, I'm taking the optimistic route. Davies was consistently in foul trouble, and plenty of other players stepped up to fill his void when he was sitting on the bench. Noah Hartsock leads the team in blocks, so he plays decent defense. Charles Abouo has been a beast on the boards of late. James Anderson has stepped in big when needed. Logan Magnusson can add a bigger body under the basket. Jackson Emery is a freak on the defensive end anywhere he is needed. BYU can go small and run with any team in the country. And let's not forget one little fact—we still have the best player in college hoops in Jimmer Fredette. If any team has the ability and toughness to rise above adversity, it's this one. Dave Rose is no dummy—he'll have a plan for this. And I'll be cheering loud and proud tonight at the Marriott Center as I watch my Cougars take on the Lobos.

My heart goes out to Davies, and I sincerely hope he figures things out and rejoins the team next season. We Cougar fans will welcome him back with open arms.

Go Cougs!

So Bloody Frustrating

Day 22: A letter to someone who has hurt you recently.

This is kind of a hard one. You see, I haven't really been hurt lately, per se. This could be attributed to the lack of action on the guy front, or to the fact that I have good enough relationships with my girlfriends that we don't really have drama. Whatever the case, my life has lacked hurtful exchanges lately, and I'm going to just go ahead and call that a good thing.

I have, however, been frustrated out of my head by someone recently, so that's where this post is going to go.

Dear Doofus,

You are nearly thirty. When I first met you, I had no idea you were that old, mostly because you frequently act like you're thirteen. (You certainly text like you are.) At first, it was just kind of funny, and a little charming in some ways. And then we were given callings that forced us to work closely together, and that charm wore off reeeeeaaaalllly quickly. 

When I voice an opinion, you shut me down. When I try to back up my opinion, you tell me to stop stressing out so much. When I continue to back up my opinion because I refuse to be shut down without consideration, you tell me I'm frustrating you. With all of that combined, here is what I hear: "Holy crap, Lindy, stop being such a girl. I'm the priesthood holder, which therefore means my opinion is more valid than yours."

Well listen up, Doofus. I am a strong woman with strong opinions. I was given this calling so I could make changes and bring my ideas to the table. I don't care if you don't want to plan things on Saturdays because it interferes with your life. I don't care if you want to throw together a half-assed activity in a week just so you can be done with it. I don't care how frustrating I am to you or how annoying it is to plan out every detail. I am going to voice my opinions, and I am going to be heard. You want to know why? Because my opinions are valid. And, by the way, in most cases my opinions are better than yours. I care about getting people more involved in the ward. I care about doing my best to make it easier for people to be social here. I care about magnifying my calling and doing the best I possibly can. 

Since you don't seem to care about any of that, I will go over your head. I will talk to the bishop. I will talk to the Relief Society presidency. I will talk to whomever I need to talk to to get things done, whether you like it or not. So you better watch yourself. I'm a stubborn girl, and I will get my way.

If this is the way you treat every girl in your life, Doofus, it's no wonder you're pushing that 3-0 mark while still single. No self-respecting girl wants to put up with your crap.

Hugs and kisses,

Lindy

Get Me to the Church on Time

Day 7: Your dream wedding.

I am a weird girl. I tell myself this often, and the wedding thing is yet another example of my weirdness. I don't have my wedding planned—not one bit. I don't know what colors I want, what I want my dress to look like, or what kind of cake I'll have. I have no idea what I want the reception to look like or what kind of food to serve.

There have been times when I have decided on a color scheme, and a couple of months later, I change my mind. There was a while when I knew I wanted a short dress, a really retro one with a swing skirt. Then I decided I wanted a more traditional, floor-length dress. Now I'm leaning toward the short dress again.

Regardless of all that, here is one thing I know I want for sure:

Fortunately, the one thing I know I want for certain is the most important part of the wedding. As long as I am kneeling across the altar in the temple across from the man I love with my whole heart, I don't care about anything else. As long as we are both making sacred covenants with each other and with the Lord, I don't care where my reception is. As long as we are both 150 percent committed to each other and to our covenants, I don't care what flowers are in my bouquet. 

Of course I want to have a nice reception. Of course I want to look beautiful. Of course I want my spouse to look handsome. But all of that only happens after the sacred ceremony in the temple. That is my dream wedding.

I Love Christmas

Christmas is probably my favorite time of year. I know a lot of people say that, especially little kids, but I still love Christmas. And as I have gotten older, I have realized that I love it more for different reasons. As a kid, I loved Christmas because of the presents (of course). Let's be honest, that's the reason every kid loves Christmas. However, I also loved the feeling that I got around Christmas. I don't think I fully understood what that feeling was, but I loved it nonetheless.

Dad always puts Christmas lights on the house. He loves making the house look festive because he loves this season just as much as I do. When I was little, I would fall asleep looking at the window, where I could see the red and green lights on the roof glowing through the blinds. I absolutely loved Christmas morning. Matt and I would usually be the first ones awake. We would go and wake up Chelly and Ben, then we'd go to the Christmas tree, which was always lit with white Christmas lights. It was dark outside, and we wouldn't turn on any other lights, so the living room was lit by the tree alone. I loved opening my stockings by the light of the tree.

Then, once we couldn't take it anymore, we'd finally get up the nerve to wake up Mom and Dad. They'd stumble out of bed (or tell us to wait twenty more minutes) and we'd all gather around the Christmas tree, wrapped in blankets. Dad would hand us gifts one by one and we'd unwrap them one at a time. As it grew lighter outside, the piles of gifts next to each of us kids grew larger, until we finally opened the last and biggest gift from Santa. Then we'd eat Christmas Morning Casserole (the only day of the year Mom ever makes it), play with some of our gifts, and, after opening more gifts at Grandma and Grandpa Brown's house, watch a movie or two.

I love these memories. I love remembering how I felt as a child and letting the excitement of Christmas engulf me again. I no longer wake up before dawn on Christmas morning or scour the house for gifts that Mom and Dad have hidden. It no longer feels like the month of December lasts an eternity. (Instead, it passes in the blink of an eye.) I no longer sit on Santa's knee and tell him what I want for Christmas, nor do I leave cookies and milk for Santa to eat. But it seems that no matter how old I get, Christmas is still special. I love Christmas lights and decorations. I love nativity scenes and advent calendars. And I still love seeing wrapped presents under the tree with my name on them.

But most of all, I love thinking of Christ. I love being able to mention Christ's name often, and to hear his name spoken often. I love knowing what this season is about. I love watching the excitement in little kids' eyes when I ask them what they asked Santa for. I love listening to Christmas music and feeling the importance of this time of year. I love singing in Christmas programs and feeling like I've contributed to the spirit of Christmas.

There is nothing like the feeling at Christmas. It is such a wonderful and peaceful spirit, and I only hope I can keep it in my heart all year 'round.