Thanksgiving Day Thirteen

Tonight was a very low-key kind of night. Andrew wanted to play his new video game, and he told me he'd like some company, so I went to his place prepared with a book. I spent a good portion of the evening with my legs over his lap, reading my book while he played his game. That may sound boring to some, but I thought it was very nice.

So while I am thankful that Andrew and I go out and do things, I am also thankful that we are capable of doing our own things, and doing them together. I didn't necessarily need to have 100% of Andrew's attention tonight, but I wanted to be near him. He makes me happy, and I like knowing that he's near. When he had a break in his game, he would rub my leg, and I loved that little acknowledgement of my presence. I'm thankful that we're comfortable enough with each other that we can do our own things while still being together.

And yes, most of my thankful posts this year are going to be about Andrew. Because he's amazing, and I'm thankful for him every day. I'm marrying him in 97 days, so he's on my mind. All the time.

Thanksgiving Day Twelve

Tonight we had FHE at my apartment. We played Rock Band, and since the game is mine, it made sense for me to be there to set everything up. My roommate bought some pizza and we were set to have a grand ol' time.

And then people showed up. There were a couple of people who were fine and just had fun, but there was an entire apartment of giggly, air-headed girls that were flirting with an apartment of tools. I don't mean to be mean or horribly judgmental. I'm sure these people are perfectly fine people. But the combination of personalities there made for an . . . interesting evening, to say the least. Everyone was really loud, and there was one guy who was particularly douchebaggish. I'm sure he thought he was something else, but anyone who calls me "girly" is automatically put on my douchebag list.

Believe it or not, this is leading to something that I am thankful for. Which is the fact that I am leaving student housing and singles' wards forever in a little over three months. I am so thankful that I don't have to deal with the dating game anymore and that soon I won't have to deal with the drama of other people who are dealing with it. I no longer have to worry about who's dating who and who likes who and who has a history with who and who hates who, and I can't tell you just how happy that makes me.

Also, as much as I love my roommates (they're some of the best girls I know), I am so thankful that soon I will have my own place where everything will be mine and Andrew's and we won't have to label food or clean up other people's messes. I can't express just how wonderful that thought is after having spent seven and a half years living in student housing.

Thanksgiving Day Eleven

It is Veteran's Day today, so I feel it only appropriate to be thankful for the brave men and women who have served and currently serve in the military. Those men and women have my utmost respect and admiration, as do their families who support them from home. These are the people who have fought for our freedoms and given their time, talents, and lives to make America what it is today. I'm thankful that there are people out there who are so willing to serve their country and who do so with such dedication.

Thanksgiving Day Ten

Goodness gracious, the weather is bad outside. Andrew and I spent the morning running errands and looking at apartments and stopping by my parents' house and doing various other things that we needed to do. Most of the time that we were driving around Salt Lake, it was snowing. A lot. And I was super glad that Andrew was driving and not me.

After we got back to Orem and relaxed at Andrew's for a little while, we headed down to Provo to meet my brother and sister-in-law. BYU's last home game was tonight, and we were all going together. So after grabbing some food, we bundled up as best we could and headed over to the stadium. It was SO COLD. Holy cow. And snow was still piled up under all the bleachers, so getting to our seats was treacherous. I was slipping and sliding all over the place.

Andrew and I only stayed for the first half. Because by halfway through the second quarter, BYU was beating Idaho 42–7, and I couldn't feel my toes or my face. On our way back to my place, we stopped by the Cocoa Bean and got hot cocoa and cupcakes. It was delicious.

All of this leads to what I am thankful for today, which is a warm house and a roof over my head. I'm so thankful for my working heater and all my blankets and a fiancé who is more than willing to cuddle with me to keep me warm.

Thanksgiving Day Nine

Yesterday was Andrew's birthday, so tonight we are going out to celebrate. We're going to gorge ourselves at Tucanos and then go see the new Bond movie. I've been looking forward to tonight all week, and even the snowy, icky weather won't stop us from going out and enjoying an evening together. (As a side note, I'm also thankful that Andrew is willing to drive tonight. Because I hate driving in the snow.)

So today I am thankful for date night. For a reason to go out and splurge a little bit and just enjoy life. I'm thankful that Andrew and I like to go out and that we do so fairly regularly. There are a lot of things that we like to do, and we enjoy doing them together, and I'm really thankful for that. Relaxing and cuddling at home is nice, but it's also nice to go out on the town once in a while.

Thanksgiving Day Eight

Tonight Andrew and I stopped by the mall so we could pick up his ring. Andrew wanted it engraved with our wedding date and "Always and Forever," which I thought was super sweet. He's just super sweet. My favorite part about that engraving is "Forever." Because it's true. Andrew and I will be getting sealed for time and all eternity in the temple, and I am so thankful for that. I'm thankful that I have the truth of the Gospel and that I will get to be with my family forever.

I'm so thankful that my upcoming marriage to Andrew won't just be for time. Death won't part us. I will get to be with him and grow with him for the rest of eternity, and that thought fills me with warmth and happiness. The children we have will be ours forever. What an amazing blessing.

Thanksgiving Day Seven

Today I'm thankful for my job. In addition to simply being thankful for a full-time, steady job that allows me to take care of my needs, I'm also thankful for my own ability to do my job. I've been with this company for nearly four years, and in that time, my position has shifted and changed as I have gotten more responsibility and learned more about what goes on in the company.

For the rest of this week, I am covering for one of my coworkers who is on vacation. It's stressful work. I don't do it every day, so I'm not completely comfortable with what I am being asked to do, but at the same time, it's nice to know that I have other skills at work that help me contribute more. I'm thankful that I've learned so much here and that I've really been able to make myself an invaluable member of my team. My boss tells me that I can't ever leave KLAS, and while I know she's joking, it's nice to know that I'm appreciated.

Thanksgiving Day Six

I feel the need to start this post with a disclaimer, which is that I am a terrible citizen. I am not voting today because I am not registered. Why am I not registered? The answer is simple: I forgot. That's truly it. I completely forgot until it was too late, and then I was up the creek without a paddle. I am fully aware of my own apparent apathy toward the election this year, so do me the kindness of not judging me too harshly. In my defense, I recently got engaged and have had plenty of other things on my mind.

Despite my own lack of obvious patriotism, I am immensely thankful to live in a country that has an open election that requires its citizens to get involved. I am thankful that I live in a country where I am free to form my own opinions and share them with others. Where I can do something as simple as write on this blog without worrying about whether what I say might get me in trouble. Where I am free to practice my religion and cultivate my beliefs. Where I can have a job and create opportunities for myself.

I know that I often forget about the amazing opportunities I have been given simply by virtue of where I was born. I often take for granted how blessed I am to live in a country whose government allows me to do what I want to do without fear of retribution. What we have here in the United States is truly amazing. So while I dropped the ball this election day, I am thankful for all those who didn't.

Thanksgiving Day Five

Today I am thankful that my wedding planning is going well. Even though I wouldn't mind it if Andrew and I were getting married earlier (being engaged is really no fun because I just want to be married already), I am thankful that we still have three and a half months to get everything figured out. We have a venue, my dress, a florist, and a photographer. Andrew just did the final fitting of his custom-made suit tonight, and it's going to look very good. I'm excited to see how we'll look together on our wedding day.

So while I'm not a huge fan of this wedding planning business, I'm thankful that things are coming along. We have most of the big things figured out, and now we just need to focus on the details. You know, the little things like finding an apartment and budgeting and combining our incomes. Those are just minor things, right?

Thanksgiving Day Four

I'm afraid that today's thankful post will be a little shallow, but sometimes that's just the way it goes. Today was fast Sunday, and I have church at 1:30 pm. It's always difficult for me to fast that long. I get a little shaky and super hungry. So by the time I got home from church, I was famished. And to help satisfy my hunger, Andrew made some delicious fettucine alfredo. It was so good. And probably really bad for me, but I didn't care.

So today, I am thankful for good food. And for a fiancé who likes to cook and spoils me rotten with how often he cooks for me. Even when we're supposed to be cooking something together, he usually ends up doing most of the work. Because he's a sweetheart like that.

Thanksgiving Day Three

For a couple of reasons, today I am thankful for my education and my steady, full-time job. And to piggyback on that, I am also thankful for Andrew's education and steady, full-time job. We went to look at some apartments this morning, and we drove past a complex that looked nice, so we decided to stop in and check it out. The lady in the office showed us the prices and amenities. After a 10-minute explanation, she finally got around to telling us that it was income-limited housing, which meant that we had to make less than a certain amount in order to live there. Together, Andrew and I will make about double the limit.

While it kind of sucked to be forced to miss out on some nice, affordable apartments, it was also nice to know that Andrew and I have been smart with our money and that we have given ourselves the opportunity to be successful. We should be able to afford a decent apartment, and we won't have to live paycheck to paycheck. That is definitely one of the benefits of waiting until after college to get married.

Another thing that made me thankful for my job was that I bought Andrew's wedding ring today. It was kind of a spur-of-the-moment decision to get it tonight, but there was a sale, and it worked out best to buy it then. I'm very thankful that I have enough money set aside that I could buy it right then without it breaking me.

Thanksgiving Day Two

Today, I am grateful for the little things that entertain me every day. For instance, Andrew recently got my Wii to connect to the internet. (I've had the Wii for five years now, and I'm just now getting that figured out.) Naturally, I had to go see what kind of fun old-school game were available from the Wii store. And there were plenty, let me tell you. I ended up spending more money than I should have, but I got Super Mario World, Startropics, Super Mario Bros. 3, and Donkey Kong Country.

This may be a goofy thing to be thankful for, but I was so happy to have this little bit of nostalgia. It's nice to have a little goofy fun sometimes.

Thanksgiving Day One

My goodness, I cannot believe it's November already. That's just crazy. Time seems to be dragging and flying all at the same time, and I'm not quite sure how that's possible.

At any rate, November means a solid month of thankful posts! I have countless things to be grateful for right now, so I have more than enough material to do a fourth year of these posts. I have found that it is a great way to remind me to count my blessings and remember all that I have been given.

So today, day one, I am going to start with probably the most obvious thing I am grateful for, and that is my fiancé.

I know I've already gushed about him on my blog before, but this man is so good to me. In everything he does, he shows me that he loves me. I have no doubt about his feelings for me or my feelings for him. I love spending time with him. We don't even have to be doing anything; I just like being near him. He makes me feel safe and secure, and I know that he will always be there for me to help me with whatever I might need. He also makes me laugh all the time, and we have so much fun together.

Andrew had to work last night, so I didn't get to see him yesterday. I always get a little bummed about that, though it was nice to just relax, watch the Jazz game, and attempt to write in my journal. But now I'm anxious to see him again. It may have only been one day, but I missed Andrew. And I'm excited to see him tonight. He means everything to me. I love him more than I thought possible, and I can't say just how thankful I am to have him in my life. I can't wait to marry him in 110 days.

My Boyfriend Is Better than Your Boyfriend

Because he does things like send me flowers at work during a rather stressful week.

He's the best. Hands down. How did I get to be so lucky?

Closure

Last Saturday, Andrew and I went up to Magna to experience the Magna Arts Festival that takes place on Magna Main Street. Local vendors set up booths up and down the street to sell their wares. While it wasn't exactly the most thrilling festival, it was still fun to wander up and down the street and to show Andrew a little bit of what I grew up with.

Earlier last week, I had looked up a list of activities that were going on during the festival. There would be live bands playing all day, and to my slight dismay, I recognized the names of the first two bands. My ex plays in both of them. Magna Main isn't exactly big, and the prospect of coming face-to-face with my ex after over five years was borderline terrifying. I knew I was over that whole relationship and had been for a while, but knowing that I could possibly talk to the man who wreaked such havoc on my emotional well being for so long was freaking me out a little bit. My main solace was in knowing that if I did end up talking to my ex, I would have my current (and amazing) boyfriend by my side. The boyfriend who is absolutely everything that my ex never was. I wouldn't have to face it alone.

As we were wandering on Saturday, I could hear the music. I could hear the bass. And I was instantly reminded of how many times I had watched Mike perform in gigs. It was a little distracting to be constantly aware of just how close I was to seeing him. Andrew and I wandered down that way after the gig had ended, but when we got close enough to see the stage and the people setting up, Andrew steered me away. I had warned him of the situation, and I don't think he wanted to see Mike any more than I did. Either that or he just sensed my nerves.

But as Andrew and I headed in the opposite direction, my parents caught up to us, and my mom was determined to say hello to Mike. As she marched toward the stage, I held back for a second. And then I realized that I was okay. There was no reason not to talk to Mike. So I stood with Andrew as my mom hailed Mike. He came over. We said hello. We chatted for maybe five minutes.

It was weird.

But not because I suddenly felt a flood of emotions. Not because I was fighting to keep myself under control in the presence of the man who embodies all things that made me terrified of relationships for so long. It was weird because of how little I actually did feel. I looked at Mike, and obviously I recognized him. I recognized the scar on his finger because I was with him when he got it. I understood when he told me his fingers were bleeding from playing bass because I had seen it happen countless times before. I remembered a lot of the things we had done together. I even thought about how I used to feel about him, both the love and the anger. But . . . none of it mattered. He really had become just some guy that I knew a long time ago. (He was also talking like a responsible adult—he's been married for four years and holds a management position. That is definitely not the Mike I knew.)

As I walked away from this situation that I had contemplated for a long time (because every time I went home, I wondered if I would run into him), I thought about just how much I've grown since Mike was a part of my life. I thought about my life right now and how far I've come. I am a college graduate. I have a steady, full-time job in my field of study. I am completely independent, and I take care of myself. I have an amazingly wonderful boyfriend who treats me far, far better than I ever thought a man could be capable of treating a woman. And I am happier now than I think I have ever been.

I didn't realize it, but in going so long without so much as speaking to Mike left me without a full sense of closure. Now that we've crossed paths, I can effectively set aside everything that may have still been lingering. I've seen him face-to-face, and he holds absolutely nothing for me. Nothing. Everything that matters to me is in the here and now, and the past has nothing to do with it except that it led me here. Do you have any idea how wonderful that feels?

The Way, the Truth, and the Life

Day Six: A photo of something/someone that has had the biggest impact on you.

There are so very many people and things that have had enormous impacts on me both for good and for ill. I have known absolutely amazing people throughout my life that have helped me learn and grow and become a better person. I have read books and watched movies that have completely changed my viewpoints on issues and have broadened my world. I have taken classes that have forced me out of my comfort zone and taught me how to live outside myself.

But today is Sunday, and I just taught a rather emotional Relief Society lesson about repentance and my Savior. Therefore, I think it appropriate to write about the person who has had the biggest impact on my life. That person is Jesus Christ. I believe with my whole heart that Christ is my Savior and that He died for me. He shed drops of blood from every pore so that I don't have to. If I but turn to him and use the Atonement in my everyday life, I won't have to face justice at the last day. The Savior will step in my place and be my advocate to the Father.

I honestly don't know where I would be without a knowledge of my Savior. There have been so many times in my life when I have felt completely lost and alone. When I have been confused and afraid. When I have been ashamed and humiliated. In each instance, the fact that I have a Savior who wants to hear all my concerns and fears has been an enormous comfort. I can't count how many times I have felt the love of my Savior and simply felt that everything will turn out okay. I have seen His tender mercies in my everyday life, and I can't say how much of a blessing that is.

The truth is that I never would have realized the importance of all the people and things that have impacted my life without the knowledge that a loving Savior and Heavenly Father are guiding my life. I have experienced things and gotten to know people for a reason. Everything always seems to work out when I trust in my Heavenly Father and I strive to do what He asks of me. No other person or thing could ever hope to have a bigger impact on my life.

Giving Thanks Day 30: A Plan

Well, here it is. The last day of November. I honestly can't believe that tomorrow is December and that the year is almost over. It has gone by so quickly. It's crazy how fast time flies when you get out of college and are no longer living your life in four-month increments.

November has been an insane month. So many things happened, both good and bad. It has been a month of learning and growth and a little bit of pain. But it has also been a month of triumph and of truly recognizing how many wonderful blessings I have been given. I feel like a good portion of my posts this month have had something to do with the Gospel, and I love that, because despite the hard things this month, it has also been a wonderfully spiritual month for me. I have felt so close to the Lord and so aware of all that I have been given.

So on this the last day of November, I am thankful for my knowledge of my Savior. I am thankful that He is aware of me and of my trials. He knows what I am going through, and best of all, He knows what I need. He has a plan for me, and that plan is better for than anything I could come up with myself. I feel like the main lesson I need to learn in my life (at least at this point in my life) is that I must have faith in my Heavenly Father's plan for me. When I get frustrated because something I want to do isn't working out, I just have to sit back and have faith that the Lord is putting me in a position where I can fully claim all the blessings he has for me. I have a Savior. I have a Heavenly Father. And they care about me and want what's best for me. If I just have faith in their wisdom, life will work out for me, and I will be happy.

I am so thankful for the Gospel and for the guiding influence it is in my life. I am so thankful for the knowledge I have of my Savior and of all that He has sacrificed for me. The Book of Mormon is the word of God, and Thomas S. Monson is a latter-day prophet who guides us in these days. I am a daughter of a Heavenly Father who loves me and is watching over me. I am so thankful for that knowledge. I don't know where I would be without the Gospel in my life.

Giving Thanks Day 29: Courage

To kind of piggyback on yesterday's post, this morning I woke up to find a card that had been pushed under my door. It was from Brittany. She told me she thought I was making an impact with my actions and encouraged me to follow through with a decision I made last night while we were talking. That card helped me set a deadline to do what I said I would do.

Part of me doesn't really want to get too detailed with this story simply because I don't know who'll read it and figure out the people involved. The other part of me doesn't give a crap about who knows what. I'm giving in to the latter part, though I am going to omit names. I don't want to make this too obvious. (And I apologize if this post gets lengthy—I will attempt to be as concise as possible.)

To preface, I have had a rough couple of weeks. I've been stressed and anxious and sleep deprived, which only enhances the stress and anxiety. In the midst of all my venting to Brittany last night, I mentioned that I kind of wanted to ask a certain guy in our ward if I could just talk to him. I wanted to talk to someone who was outside of the situation and who I didn't already talk to every day. Not to mention that I've been pretty interested in this guy for a while now. Brittany fully supported this idea and told me to ask him to get hot cocoa.

So today, I actually did it. I texted him. I put myself out there. And it was really difficult for me, mostly because I just don't ever do that. I hate looking needy or vulnerable because it opens me up to heartache. It's so much easier to just kind of shut myself off and convince myself that if a guy doesn't see past my walls on his own, he's not worth my time. However, I have come to the conclusion recently that this is a stupid way to live my life. So I took steps to change it. I texted this guy (who I will from now on refer to as Der Junge ["the boy" in German] because it's easier than "this guy") and told him that I needed to talk to someone. I asked if he had time to get hot cocoa sometime, and he responded, "Yeah for sure." Score one point for Lindy.

We set a time to go tonight, and I was super proud of myself for about five minutes until reality set in. I had just told Der Junge that I needed to talk to him, and he said sure. That meant that I would actually have to talk to him. That he would ask me what was going on. That I would have to open up. Yikes. But I couldn't back out, and I didn't really want to back out. I wanted to do this—that's the whole reason I sent the dang text to begin with.

So at 6:30, I headed over to Der Junge's apartment, and we drove over to the Cocoa Bean. Der Junge paid for my pumpkin steamer (score one point for Der Junge), and then we stole a couple of comfy armchairs. And we talked. And talked. And talked. For three and a half hours. Without a pause. Without a hint of awkwardness. It was comfortable and it was natural. We talked about everything from dating to books to gay people. (Yes, gay people.) We had meaningful conversations, we were open with each other, and we got along so much better than I could have ever anticipated. I didn't worry about how he was viewing me our how my words were being perceived. We just kind of seemed to understand each other.

When Der Junge finally decided it was time to leave, he was surprised to find that it was 10:00. He thought it was 8:30 at the latest. He blew off a friend he was supposed to work out with at 9:00 because he just lost track of the time. That has to be a good sign, right? I sure like to think so. Another good sign is that we've been texting since we got back to the complex. I'm a bit of a happy girl tonight.

So today, I am thankful that I had courage and that I did something that was scary. I pushed myself out of my comfort zone. I broke out of my shell a bit. And while it could have easily blown up in my face and made me feel like the biggest idiot in the entire world, it didn't. In fact, it was the complete opposite. The whole evening was a smashing success, and it all came about because I had the courage to do something different. I don't know if this will lead to anything. It may, or it may not. But even if nothing comes of tonight, I am still thankful I did it. Because I grew from it and I learned from it, which is what this life is all about.

Giving Thanks Day 27: My Calling

Last night was a bit of an interesting night. I rolled back into Provo at around nine and then went to visit a couple of friends. After chatting and watching a movie, I went back to my apartment at around midnight. I talked to Brittany for a while, and then Cora came home, and Cora and I ended up talking until probably about 1:30.

Now, none of that in and of itself is out of the ordinary. In fact, that's become a fairly normal night for me, especially on the weekends. Here was the problem: We have 8:30 church. At 1:30, I had yet to put any of my stuff away from my trip to my parents. My bed was a shambles and without sheets. And as if that wasn't bad enough, I still had to plan my lesson for Relief Society the next day. Awesome.

I think it was a little after 2:00 when I finally started planning my lesson. Don't get me wrong—I knew what my lesson was on and I had listened to the conference talk already. I had been thinking about it for weeks. But I had yet to sit down and actually plan out how I wanted my lesson to go. And 2:00 in the morning isn't really ideal thinking time for Lindy.

I have to say that I was pretty worried about my lesson that day. I was running on roughly four and a half hours of sleep, which is ridiculous. But when I got up to teach, I was wide awake. I didn't feel lethargic at all. I tried my best to follow what the Spirit prompted, and I hope that came across. It doesn't matter how many times I teach—I never know how well I've done unless someone tells me. I can never gauge it myself. But I did get a few very nice comments from sisters, so I think it went well overall.

I am so thankful for this calling. I absolutely love teaching Relief Society. It's so nice that I don't have to do something every week, and I get such fulfillment out of teaching a good lesson. And because I teach on the fourth Sunday, I get to delve into conference talks that I may not have thoroughly studied otherwise. I am so thankful for the things I have learned with my calling and for the blessings the Lord has given me through it. So many things have been clarified in my mind as I have taught lessons. I feel like every talk I am supposed to teach is meant for me, and it is such a wonderful feeling to know that my Heavenly Father is aware of and watching out for me.

Giving Thanks Day 26: Christmas

In my parents' house, the weekend after Thanksgiving is always full of Christmas decorating. My dad pulls the seemingly countless bins of decorations from the basement while my mom sorts through what she has to figure out what she's going to put where (and to remember all the decorations she bought dirt cheap after Christmas the year before). Christmas music fills the house as mom replaces pictures and sets up nativity scenes. Dad goes outside to put the lights up on the house. I help with whatever I'm called to help with, whether it be putting up the tree or giving Dad an opinion on something outside.

I love how much my family gets into Christmas. There has never been a year that I can remember when Dad didn't put lights up outside or when the house wasn't bursting with nativities and Santas and snowmen. My future husband better be ready—I'm going to make him put lights up on the house and help me decorate the rest of the house. There is no negotiating. I will have lots of Christmas decorations.

The whole reason I love decorating so much is that it helps bring the spirit of Christmas into my life. I love Christmastime. I love Christmas music and Christmas trees and Christmas lights. I even love snow for Christmas, though after Christmas it could all just go away and I'd be happy. Most of all, I love how most people, regardless of religious beliefs, seem to embrace the spirit of Christmas. For the month of December, no one complains when they hear songs like "Silent Night," "The First Noel," or "O Holy Night." During Christmas, fewer people seem to balk at the mention of Christ. And I love that. It brings such a feeling of togetherness. For one month of the year, people make a concerted effort to forget their differences and be generous and kind to those around them.

I'm so thankful for this time of year when the Spirit of Christ strikes more deeply into the hearts of men. I'm thankful for the chance to remember Christ and His birth all month long. I'm thankful that I know the true meaning of Christmas and the true reason behind the magic of this time of year. And most of all, I'm thankful for Christ, without whom we all would be lost.