What the Heck?

This past week has been one of the worst weeks I've had in a very long time. And it's not even because of anything that happened. Well, BYU's loss tonight certainly didn't help, but that's definitely not the sole cause of my frustrations.

In fact, when looking at the actual events of this past week, it was a pretty good week. A trip to the library (which is awesome for me), I've kept up on my Book of Mormon reading goal, I found out that my favorite band is coming to Utah next month, I bought some cool Beatles stuff, and I got paid. Not a bad week at all. But my emotions certainly haven't reflected that.

I don't think I have ever been as discouraged as I have been lately. At the beginning of the week, I felt awesome. But that awesomeness dwindled pretty quickly. I felt calmer and more peaceful for about three days, and then—WHAM!—the dejection hit. I kept thinking about my life and where I am right now, and I didn't like it. What am I doing with my life? Nothing. I'm not working towards anything.

I have a good job that I like, but unfortunately, right now it's only a part-time job. I need more than that, but I have no idea where to look for editing positions, so I'm not even really trying. I'm not going to school anymore, so I'm not working toward any kind of degree. And I'm not dating anyone, so I've got nothing going on in the personal life department. Heck, I don't even feel like I have many friends right now. I barely see any of my old friends, and I still haven't made any new friends in my new complex, besides my roommates (who are awesome, it's true). If it wasn't for Faith and Cora, I would play less than I do even now.

So what am I supposed to do with myself? I feel like doing something different everyday. For a while, I was convinced that I was going to run away to England (seriously). Then I was thinking about grad school (in England or the States). Then I was convinced I should go on a mission. Then I decided I should just move out of Provo and get away from the student environment. But none of the decisions stick or feel right for more than a day or two.

And then there's this whole being single thing. I know I'm still young, I know I shouldn't worry about it yet, I know that things take time and I should be patient, but that doesn't change the fact that it sucks. It has been a really long time since I've been in any kind of relationship, and the time is wearing on me. I'm at a complete loss as to how people get together . . . how exactly do two people go from being acquaintances to being in a relationship? It baffles me. I can't figure it out. Apparently.

The bottom line is that I feel like I'm just waiting for life to happen. (Thanks, Megan, for putting that into words for me.) I'm sitting around with nothing to do, waiting for life to jump out at me. I want more than anything to do something, anything, to go out and jump at life, but that's where the discouragement comes in: I have no idea what I should do. Everything seems wrong, so I guess I'm stuck waiting for now. Which is more frustrating than anything else.

Awww Yeah

I found out today that Sherwood's coming to Utah next month. They're playing in St. George and Salt Lake, and I'm seriously considering seeing both shows. I'm crazy, I know, but I can't wait to see this again:

Yeah, I'm just a little excited.

Holy Entertaining, Batman!

This is really stupid. It shouldn't be so entertaining. But dang it, it is. Go ahead. Go to the site. I dare you.

http://www.i-am-bored.com/bored_link.cfm?link_id=9644

March Madness . . . er . . . sort of

When I was in high school, every March we had March Madness in seminary, which meant that we were supposed to read the Book of Mormon in a month. I did it three years in a row, and it was amazing what kinds of new things I could get from that wonderful book every time.

Recently, I've been a little lackluster in my scripture study. I would read my scriptures everday, but somehow reading a few verses right before falling asleep just didn't seem to cut it. Plus, I just feel like something has been lacking in my life recently. I haven't been able to quite pinpoint what it is, but something isn't quite right, and I knew I needed to change something.

I was talking to my roommate on Saturday, and I mentioned something about my seminary's March Madness, and she got really excited. Her seminary didn't do that, so she decided she wanted to try it, and I told her I would join her.

I'm three days in, and already I feel different. It's nothing completely dramatic, and I still get annoyed and down occasionally, but I don't feel quite as . . . I don't know how to explain it. Frenetic, maybe? Unsettled? Lost? Anxious? I'm still trying to figure some things out in my life, but I feel calmer, more peaceful. And reading the Book of Mormon can never hurt when you've got questions.

On Sunday, I went to the worship service at the Hare Krishna temple in Spanish Fork with Faith. At one point during the sermon, the leader guy (sorry, I have no idea what they're called) asked us to raise our hands if we had read a book that changed our lives. Me, Faith, and Faith's friend Chae raised our hands, then Faith said, "What book are you thinking of?" Chae responded, "I don't know about yours, but mine's blue." And it's true. That little blue book has so much power for change, and change for the better!

I'm three days in, and I'm rediscovering how absolutely incredible the Book of Mormon is. I can't wait to see how I feel after 30 days.

Road Trips + Friends + Shakespeare = Awesome

This past weekend, Faith and I took a little drive down to Cedar City to visit Kate, and to see "The Complete Works of William Shakespeare: Abridged." In short, the trip was so much fun! I wish it wasn't a 3-hour drive and a $40-dollar ticket, because then I would so be going to see the show again this weekend.

Faith and I arrived in Cedar at around 4, and I was so happy to stop driving. My heel went completely numb from propping my foot against the gas pedal. Weird, I know. It's at times like these that I wish I had cruise control. Oh well.

After chilling at Kate's for a bit, we went to eat at Chili's, then headed out for the show. This was my first time going to a Shakespearean Festival production, so I was pretty excited. I do have to admit that when I found out that the tickets were $40 I was a little hesitant, but let me tell you, that show was worth every penny.

Matt, Geoff, and Quinn

 

I don't think I have ever laughed so hard so consistently for that extended amount of time. It was the funniest thing I have ever seen, hands down. And it was definitely the best-deserved standing ovation I have given—well, next to "Wicked," that is. There was so much audience participation and so many random things ("Monkey dance party!", "Call me Butlove") that I could not stop laughing. Because there is audience participation, there is quite a bit of improv involved in the show, and I loved it when the actors broke. Quinn was really good at keeping a straight face . . . there was only one part I can remember him cracking.

Even with the hilarity of the show, there were some parts in Hamlet when the actors showed just how talented they are. Matt gave one of Hamlet's soliloquies, and he moved seamlessly from making fun of it to giving a serious performance. It was pretty amazing, especially since he simply stood there. He paced it all with nothing more than his breathing. At the end, Quinn gave Hamlet's dying speech, which was also pretty amazing.

It also didn't hurt that Quinn was incredibly attractive. Just saying.

(As a random side note, seeing this show gave me a new ambition: to perform on stage again. I haven't done anything on stage since high school, and I realized just how much I miss it. So I'm on the lookout for community theaters in Provo/Orem who have open auditions. If you know of any, let me know! )

After the show, we wandered around the SUU campus to take some random pictures by the many statues. Here's a little sampling:

 

 

 

It was so much fun to see Kate! Since she lives so dang far away, I don't get to see her nearly as often as I would like. We had a bit too much fun together—we stayed up until 4:30 talking on Saturday. Luckily Kate's church didn't start until 1 pm, or we would have died.

It was such a great trip. It felt so good to just get away (again). It's so good to take advantage of fun experiences like this. Sure, I could have spent the gas and ticket money on a pair of shoes or a couple of books, but I think this was a much better decision. I love going places and experiencing new things and making memories with people I love.

I love these girls, they're the best!

Sherwood Update

I now have QU, Sherwood's latest album. It is everything I have hoped for and more. Seriously, this album is bloody brilliant. I love it, and have already listened to it about ten times. It's currently on amazon.com for $2.99, so go get it while the sale lasts! Woot!

Can I Have It?

Lookie here, proof that Sherwood isn't the only band I listen to! I like plenty of other bands, such as the Beatles, who I've been listening to probably since I was in the womb. Thanks to my father (who is a rabid Beatles fan—he's bought the Beatles' albums about six times on four different kinds of media [vinyl, eight track, cassette, CD], and that's not including all the alternate albums, downloads, and anthologies that he has), I have been listening to the Beatles my entire life. I think they're the first band I really remember listening to. In fact, I think I was the one who destroyed my dad's "Help!" album because I listened to it so much.

Well, last month, in addition to The Beatles: Rock Band (which is a ruddy brilliant game—I love it), they released remastered editions of all of the British versions of the Beatles' albums. I went home this weekend, and my dad already has most of them (naturally), so I listened to them, and they're pretty awesome sounding. I ripped them to my computer, but the ripped files don't sound as good as the CDs, so now I want the CDs.

Can I have them? Can I?

But if I get them, I'd need some awesome sound system to play them on. And I'd love to get the boxed set, but that's expensive. Money sucks. I hate it. It keeps me from getting cool things like this.