Emotionally Involved

I am sitting on my bed, listening to the BYU vs Air Force game on my alarm clock radio because I don't get the channel it's broadcasted on on my apartment TV. Air Force just scored a second touchdown, putting them ahead of the Cougs 14-10. It's right before halftime. And I'm depressed because a) I'm forced to seclude myself in my bedroom to listen to the game and b) the Cougs are losing.

And I ask myself why I allow myself to get so completely emotionally involved in things. In lots of things, Cougar football being only one of many.

I believe that getting emotionally involved in things is a good thing. Life is boring if you're not passionate about something. But I feel like I get incredibly worked up about just about everything. My friend Jonathan always makes fun of me for getting worked up about things. I get charged up about something and my voice rises and I speak more emphatically and Jonathan says, "Oh no, Lindy's getting passionate again!" And the worst part is that I don't realize I'm doing it. And when he mentions it, inevitably I go red and hide my face behind a pillow or my sweater or my hands because it's embarrassing.

And BYU just got intercepted in the endzone with 11 seconds left until halftime. So the Cougars get no points, and Air Force gets the ball at half. My depression deepens.

It is especially embarrassing when I get passionate about something tiny and stupid. Like where to load a plastic serving spoon in the dishwasher. Who cares? As long as it doesn't fall into the bottom of the dishwasher and melt on the heating element, who honestly cares about where you load the stupid spoon? Apparently I do. Merely one of the many inane arguments I've gotten into.

So why do I do it? It usually just ends up biting me in the butt. I get embarrassed, or someone gets offended because of it. Am I just a passionate person? Perhaps. But I don't know if that's a good thing or not.

I guess I'll remain here for the next two hours, sitting on my bed, listening to the game, hoping that my Cougars will play better the second half so I won't be angry the rest of the day. And if they do lose, I guess I'll just have to work to keep my emotions in check, even though that would mean that we would have no shot at the Conference title and it would make a win against Utah next week even more out-of-reach than it seems now. It's just football, right? Then why do I care so much? Oh, right, because I'm me. And I'm emotionally involved in everything.