Maybe shopping doesn't suck...

As an update to my last post (not that anyone cares): While I suck at shopping on my own, I am an apparently awesome shopper when I go with my sister. I always find something cute when I shop with Chelly.

We went to Ross tonight. I usually have no luck at Ross. Tonight I had too much luck.

Five shirts, two headbands, one dress, one pair of leggings, one pair of sandals, and $84.30 later, I like my wardrobe again. Hooray for a successful shopping trip. (Minus the fact that I still have no shorts/capris. I'll work on that later.)

Shopping Sucks

I apparently have a shopping complex. I simply cannot buy anything when I am shopping by myself.

Today I went to Target, fully intending to buy some summer clothes. I thought about going all day at work, with high hopes of finding some adorable clothes. I tried on about a million different articles of clothing, and I didn't buy the few cute pieces that fit. Why? Because no one was there to reaffirm my belief that the clothes looked good on me.

*sigh*

I have no clothes confidence whatsoever. What a waste of two hours.

Worth Being Created

This is an awesome quote from the book I just finished reading, The New York Regional Mormon Singles Halloween Dance. I read it after writing my last post, and it fits so perfectly with the subject matter that I have to post it.

My entire life, I had defined myself by how others perceived me. I needed more than a mantra to change this habit. So I decided to pray about it. I didn't pray to be skinny (I'd tried that one a million times before); instead I prayed to be able to see myself through God's eyes so that I could realize my potential. I did this every day for a year, and I can't tell you how or why it worked, but eventually something just clicked and I felt like something greater than me, some force from on high, loved me tremendously. And this feeling encouraged me to let go. I stopped using my weight as the trigger for a downward spiral of self-loathing. What was the point if it only made me feel bad? Instead, I accepted the way I looked. Not completely, because that's impossible, but I considered myself in a way I never had before, as an actual child of God, someone worth being created.

- Elna Baker

Body Image

I hate being a girl. Why? Because of body image. It seems that girls are supposed to look a certain way—you know, like the gorgeous women who flood TV shows and the silver screen. In short, every female is expected to be hot: thin, fit, tan.

My whole life I have lived with the knowledge that I am not hot. That's just a fact. I have too many pimples and too many curves. I grew up going to school with mean kids who called me fat. With skinny friends who made me feel fat. And therefore with a complex that convinced me that I was fat.

But let me tell you a secret: I am not fat. 

I may not be able to wear the skimpy bikinis that 95 percent of the girls at the pool right now are wearing, and I may not feel entirely comfortable in a modest one-piece bathing suit, which often keeps me from going to the pool at all. But I am not fat.

Should I work out more often? Yes. But not to lose weight. I should work out more so I can be healthier and feel better about myself.

Do I often feel overshadowed by my considerably more traditionally attractive roommates? Yes. But that doesn't mean I am ugly.

Do I usually feel like guys look past me or around me in favor of thinner girls? Oh yes. But those guys don't know what they're missing out on.

It is true that I am short and stout. But it is also true that I am awesome, beautiful, and worth getting to know.

Holy Awesome Sauce, Batman

There are three concerts I want to go to this summer. Unfortunately, I won't be able to go to two of them, which is very sad.

The Barenaked Ladies are coming in July. I've always wanted to see them live because they're pretty dang hilarious (not to mention the fact that their music rocks), but unfortunately the show is sold out. Not to mention the fact that I don't have anyone to go to the show with anyway. So no BNL for me. Sad day.

The Swell Season, a new favorite group of mine, is also coming to Salt Lake, in August. But unfortunately, they're coming on a Sunday. I can't go to a concert on a Sunday. The guilt would eat me alive. Plus, I don't have anyone to go to this show with, either. So no Swell Season, either, which is doubly sad.

But there is one last concert that I will be going to this summer. It is literally a once-in-a-lifetime event. I will most likely never get this opportunity again. This is a musician that I have literally been listening to my entire life, and that is not an exaggeration. He is a rock and roll genius, and he has never played in Utah before. His name is Sir Paul McCartney. I just got tickets today. I'm going with my mom and dad, and it is going to be AWESOME!! Especially because my dad has been listening to the Beatles for over 40 years now, and he's finally getting the chance to see one of them live. I'm so excited for him. And for me. Holy crap it's going to be awesome. The best part is that the show is five days before my birthday. It's going to be a ridiculously awesome birthday, that's for sure.

He might be an old man now, but I've heard he still puts on a great show. The thought of hearing songs like "Let It Be" and "Hey, Jude" live makes my heart flutter. Seriously. The music Paul McCartney wrote and helped write is still some of the absolute best music I've ever heard. The Beatles will always and forever be the best band ever in my mind, and seeing one of the geniuses behind the best band ever excites me to no end.

My Creative Juices Dried Up

I've noticed that I have a lot of friends who do hobby or semi-professional photography. I also noticed that a lot of my friends are super creative and funny writers, even just on Facebook. I also have a lot of friends who are really good at other visual arts.

I am good at none of these.

My creative juices have hit a major drought, apparently.

I miss writing. But I don't have any ideas to write about.

I also think photography is cool. I've wanted to learn to take cool photos for a really long time. But I don't know the first thing about photography, and I don't have Photoshop (though I do want CS5 really really really bad—maybe I'll get it soon, if a student friend of mine will let me use their educational discount).

I hate it when I have the urge to do something creative but have no inspiration and nothing to do. It makes me sad.

Welcome, Penelope Joy!

My sister had her baby yesterday. This is Penelope Joy.

I think she's adorable. I can't wait to meet her in person.