Cool Envy

I am the worst at looking at other people and being super jealous of how cool I think they are. I look at people's blogs and think, "Ah, man, why didn't I think about doing something like that?! I'm so LAME!"

I look at other girls in their super cute clothes and their awesome style and think, "I wish I could look like that. I wish I had a style that's all my own and that other people would look at with envy."

I listen to people talk about the bands they listen to and think, "I wish I listened to cooler music like that." Actually . . . nevermind. That's not true. I listen to freaking awesome music, so you can scratch this one off the list.

I talk to other people and hear how funny they are and I think, "I am so dull-witted. Why can't I ever think of something clever to say?"

I watch other people being social and think, "Why am I so awkward around people? Why can't I just say 'hi' and make some new friends?"

I wish I were cooler. I wish I were more stylish. I wish I were wittier.

But then I wonder if people look at me and wish that they did something that I do. I allow myself to realize that everyone looks at other people and wishes they were more like them. Nobody is completely happy with everything about themselves, so we all look at other people to prove to ourselves that we aren't as cool as we think we should be.

There are people out there who think I'm cool. There are people who are jealous of the way I do certain things. There must be. Because nobody else is nearly as hard on me as I am.

Basically, I'm awesome. Not perfect, no. But I don't have to be perfect to be awesome, and neither do you.