I was talking to an old high school friend on Facebook the other day, and it turned into an interesting conversation. I hadn't talked to her probably since choir tour nearly four years ago, and after the initial "How are yous" and "What are you up to latelys," the conversation inevitably turned to my dating life (or lack thereof). She has been dating a guy for three years now, so she felt the need to pass on some of her expertise.
Her first bit of advice surprised me. She is not LDS, but she lived in Utah for a long time and had enough LDS friends to understand the religion and the culture. She told me that she tried dating a lot of the "straight Mormon boys," and she found them to be the "dirtiest" of all. (I'm not exactly sure what she meant by "dirtiest.") I responded by saying that there are plenty of dirtbag Mormons out there (I've certainly dated one). And I do believe this is true. Just because a person is LDS, that doesn't automatically make them a saint. I've known plenty of girls who have dated Mormon boys who turned out to be jerks, and I've known plenty of guys who have dated Mormon girls who ended up being manipulative witches. It goes both ways. But that's certainly not the case for every Mormon girl and boy.
Her next bit of advice made me realize just how little she knew about me and about how little she understood or respected my religion. She told me to not make the religion thing such a big deal. I kind of laughed and said, "But the religion thing is a big deal. It has to be, because the temple is my only option." She said, "Well, yeah, but I was thinking of something like My Big Fat Greek Wedding. If he loves you enough, he'll do the marriage thing your way." Unfortunately, my dear, it is just not that simple.
This conversation got me thinking about the temple, and all that marriage in that holy place entails. Every time I go to the temple, I'm reminded of just how important it is. The temple is the only place on earth where we can bind both on earth and in heaven. "If he loves you enough, he'll do the marriage thing your way." That's the problem. It can't be my way. It must be His way. That statement should read, "If he loves the Lord enough, he'll do the marriage thing His way." The same must be true for me.
Sure, it's true that not all Mormon boys are great guys. Some really are jerks, and some just aren't right for me. But I know that somewhere out there, there's someone who is a nice guy who is right for me. Sure, limiting myself to LDS people shrinks my pool, and it might take me longer than I want to find him. But I'm sure he'll be worth the wait.
3 comments:
Lindy, there is definatly someone out there for you! Keep you chin up! And it's true if you loves you and the lord enough you guys can go threw the temple together! At first I didn't think Mark would be able to take me. He hadn't been active in the church for about 5 years and had strayed down a bad path. He loved me and supported me in my choices. I kept asking him to come to church with me and it started out with just coming to our choir performances at different wards. It took some time but he eventually came back to the church and became an Elder and worked really hard so we could go through the temple, cuz he knew that is what I wanted and he started wanting it to. We had some rough patches on that road, but it worked out. I've heard many stories of people converting their other half to the church so they could be married in the temple. Keep your chin up, the Lord works in mysterious ways and it'll happen when and how it's suppose to on the lord's time, not ours! I hope the best for you hon!
sorry at the begining that is suppose to say if he loves you, not you loves you.
It will all be worth it when it happens. Then when you hold your babies in your arms and know that they are yours forever you will be at peace.
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