Just Friends.

For the first two years of my college career, I didn't have many guy friends. I take that back--I didn't have any guy friends. My friends consisted of people from high school and my roommates. I went home nearly every weekend because I didn't feel any desire to stay in Provo. And though I didn't think about it very much, I missed having guy friends, of having that male influence in my life.

It really has only been recently that I have had really close guy friends, and I realized that I had completely forgotten how much I love hanging out with guys. There's something about having guys around that makes me feel more complete. Girls can be too much sometimes, and it's always nice to have that testosterone to balance out the estrogen.

But I also realized that I forgot how frustrating it can be to have guy friends. To know that you are "just friends." It doesn't matter how much I like the boys I hang out with, how much I like just being their friend; it always ends up frustrating me. I don't even have to be interested in any of them for it to frustrate me. But then, when I actually do become interested in one of them, it just exacerbates the problem.

I feel like I'm the safe friend. I'm pretty level-headed and mature, and I handle drama well. I can usually make an awkward situation less awkward, and I'm not the kind of girl who freaks out very often. For example, a couple months ago I had a guy take me on a walk and tell me he just wanted to be friends. Sure, it sucked. I was pretty upset. But I didn't let him know that. I said, "Okay, that's cool," and he was surprised at how well I took it. I honestly don't know how he expected me to react. Maybe he thought I would burst into tears and punch him in the nose. I kind of wanted to, but that's a different story. But something about my ability to handle upsetting situations with poise and even a smile makes me feel like guys don't even think of viewing me as potentially more than a friend. They talk to me about other girls because they know I won't get upset. They don't even have to be asking me for advice. Which is fine. It's nice to be trusted. But getting friendlisted over and over is draining.

And this isn't to say that I want a relationship right now. Sure, if it happened and I did get in a relationship, I'd be perfectly happy with that. But what I really want to do is date. I want to go on lots of dates with lots of guys. And that doesn't happen when you're just friends. Because hanging out is enough. But it's often not. And I hate that everyone seems to think that going on one date has to mean something, or that a guy can't go on a date with more than one girl in an apartment. It's ridiculous. Take a girl on a date, and if it doesn't mean anything but you still want to be her friend, be her friend. Chances are she feels the same way. Not all the time, it's true, but if she's a mature adult she'll be able to handle it, and handle it well. It's only awkward if you make it awkward.

Whew, there's my rant for the week.