I have come to a conclusion: I am awkward. There are no ifs, ands, or buts about it. No matter how hard I try to not be awkward, I just seem to get worse.
My awkwardness comes out mostly in the normal, everyday, brief social encounters, such as passing colleagues at work or saying hi to people in church. I try to be pleasant and friendly by saying hi, or simply smiling, but the hi will get caught in my throat or the smile will feel more like a grimace.
Lately I've been noticing a couple of situations where my awkwardness comes out in full force. The first is the stair encounter. KLAS is located on the top floor of an office building, and I always take the stairs. The worst possible thing about walking on the stairs is when someone is walking behind me. For some reason, it makes me feel jittery and stressed. If I get to work at the same time as a co-worker that I don't know very well, I will hang back so they enter the stairwell first. I also hate the awkward pleasantries that pass between acquaintances. *shudder*
The second situation is the bathroom conversation, which is so much worse than the stairs. If someone else is in the bathroom at the same time as I am, I will either book it to wash my hands and get out of there before the other person is done or hang back until the other person leaves. The thought of having to talk to someone while I'm washing the bathroom germs from my hands stresses me out for some reason.
Why do these situations stress me out? I don't know. Oh yeah. Because I'm awkward.
Though I do have to say that once I get to know someone, I become significantly less awkward. I am still awkward—that won't go away anytime soon—but I like to think it's not debilitating.
2 comments:
Dude, awkward is hot. I say embrace the awkward.
Oh, and I totally feel ya on the stairs.
-j
That kinda sounds like me...heh
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